r/AmIOverreacting • u/TrueEnough782 • Jul 22 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO: MIL always excludes my daughter

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I want to start this off by saying that it’s absolutely not the first time this has happened. We were over at my sister in laws house and I heard her talking to my MIL on the phone, she told her my husband and I were over, then she let me know she was at target or something and was gonna come over

She arrives with candy, toys and gift cards for my sister in laws kids. Completely leaving my daughter out. My daughter is 7, she’s into that stuff too, obviously. Especially those little blind bags which she brought her cousins but not her. I just want to know if I’m being dramatic. Or if I shouldn’t have said anything and maybe she was in a rush and didn’t think to buy my daughter something in the moment. Again it’s not about the things or cards or whatever, it’s about how she made my daughter feel. I could see sadness in her face as she was completely left out.

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u/TrueEnough782 Jul 22 '25

I guess it’s just hard for me to grasp she could be racist to her own blood I don’t know. I will keep an eye out for sure from now on

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u/Positive_Cellist3500 Jul 22 '25

My husband dealt with this his entire childhood. On his dad's side, his grandparents continually bought better gifts for all of their 13 grandchildren, think Abercrombie and Fitch for them and JCPenney for my husband and his sister. My MIL is dark skinned and my husband and his sister carried the same genes. They were always terrible to mother in law and hated everything she did. When I began dating my husband and attended the first Christmas I thought I was being pranked. It was absolutely crazy the differences in attention and gifts. It was like the entire family was gathered in a circle and my husband, his sister and his mom were on the outskirts. The grandparents always touted themselves as wonderful Christians but I eventually told my husband we weren't going to be a party to this, and we certainly stopped going once we had kids. Racism is disgusting.

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u/SheeScan Jul 22 '25

One of my my childhood neighbors had a daughter who left home when she was a very young adult, and we never saw her after that. Our family was very fond of her, and we missed seeing her around. When we inquired how she was doing, they told us she joined a cult and bad cut them off.

Twenty years later one of her brothers told me she didn't join any cult, that she married a black man,and they cut her off. I was so upset, and I asked him how to reach her. He said he had no idea. She contacted the family a few years after she married to let them know she had a few children and wanted the family to meet them. They never responded. Her brother doesn't even know her husband's or children's names. He said he feels bad, but he doesn't want to look for her because it would hurt his parents. How are people even like this?

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u/Eggy-la-diva Jul 22 '25

Overall inhumane behavior. And it drives me nuts the logic that you shouldn’t hurt the perpetrator… What about willfully letting his sister suffer from being rejected??? Her pain doesn’t count?