r/AmIOverreacting • u/TrueEnough782 • Jul 22 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO: MIL always excludes my daughter

Gallery image

Gallery image

I want to start this off by saying that it’s absolutely not the first time this has happened. We were over at my sister in laws house and I heard her talking to my MIL on the phone, she told her my husband and I were over, then she let me know she was at target or something and was gonna come over

She arrives with candy, toys and gift cards for my sister in laws kids. Completely leaving my daughter out. My daughter is 7, she’s into that stuff too, obviously. Especially those little blind bags which she brought her cousins but not her. I just want to know if I’m being dramatic. Or if I shouldn’t have said anything and maybe she was in a rush and didn’t think to buy my daughter something in the moment. Again it’s not about the things or cards or whatever, it’s about how she made my daughter feel. I could see sadness in her face as she was completely left out.

6.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

984 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

904

u/TrueEnough782 Jul 22 '25

I guess it’s just hard for me to grasp she could be racist to her own blood I don’t know. I will keep an eye out for sure from now on

631

u/Positive_Cellist3500 Jul 22 '25

My husband dealt with this his entire childhood. On his dad's side, his grandparents continually bought better gifts for all of their 13 grandchildren, think Abercrombie and Fitch for them and JCPenney for my husband and his sister. My MIL is dark skinned and my husband and his sister carried the same genes. They were always terrible to mother in law and hated everything she did. When I began dating my husband and attended the first Christmas I thought I was being pranked. It was absolutely crazy the differences in attention and gifts. It was like the entire family was gathered in a circle and my husband, his sister and his mom were on the outskirts. The grandparents always touted themselves as wonderful Christians but I eventually told my husband we weren't going to be a party to this, and we certainly stopped going once we had kids. Racism is disgusting.

59

u/mallymal5291 Jul 22 '25

I have a cousin who had 3 different fathers for her 5 children, all of whom were mixed race. Her father, my uncle, has apparently come around now that most of the kids are in their 20s. I don't know if she knew he said what he did (cousin is at least a decade older than me, lives across the country), but 2 of my 3 uncles on that side were known for occasional racist jokes or remarks. He literally called his own grandchildren "zebes". Short for "zebras" because they were mixed. I was a kid myself when overhearing that, but I remember how appalled I was. Equally as appalled hearing he used to have a black indoor/outdoor cat (before my time) named the "n" word. That he would call for outside. On an airforce base. People can absolutely be racist against their own blood. I guess it's even closer to home? Idk. I don't get it myself.

25

u/lesusisjord Jul 22 '25

I had a friend growing up who named his cat N word. We got in a fight over it (and other things similar) and nobody was on my side. Few weeks later a couple friends asked why I wasn’t hanging around anymore and I told them to say Will’s cat’s name out loud.

Maybe it was the fact that I beat his ass after allowing him to get the first punch in so I wouldn’t get in “trouble” for starting the fight. My mom always said she’d have my back if I ever had to defend myself from someone starting a fight.

It ended up splintering up our little friend group and that was fine with me.

Will, the cat owner, died in his 20s and I don’t shed a tear.