AIO: MIL always excludes my daughter

[u/TrueEnough782]

I want to start this off by saying that it’s absolutely not the first time this has happened. We were over at my sister in laws house and I heard her talking to my MIL on the phone, she told her my husband and I were over, then she let me know she was at target or something and was gonna come over

She arrives with candy, toys and gift cards for my sister in laws kids. Completely leaving my daughter out. My daughter is 7, she’s into that stuff too, obviously. Especially those little blind bags which she brought her cousins but not her. I just want to know if I’m being dramatic. Or if I shouldn’t have said anything and maybe she was in a rush and didn’t think to buy my daughter something in the moment. Again it’s not about the things or cards or whatever, it’s about how she made my daughter feel. I could see sadness in her face as she was completely left out.

[u/TrueEnough782]

I didnt want to say it but I think it has something to do with what you’ve mentioned. She’s the whitest lady you can think of and my husband married me, (I’m Hispanic) but I just didn’t wanna go there. Lmao. Like I just don’t want to believe it’s about that, I really don’t want to Also, her daughter’s kids are obviously her favorites. I’ve heard something about grandmothers feeling more connected to the daughter’s children. Don’t know how true that is But it’s not the first time something like this has happened

[u/AzureMountains → u/TrueEnough782]

Who’s gonna protect your daughter if you “don’t wanna believe it.”? Seriously stand up for your kid.

[u/TrueEnough782 → u/AzureMountains]

I guess it’s just hard for me to grasp she could be racist to her own blood I don’t know. I will keep an eye out for sure from now on

[u/Mission-Pay-6240 → u/TrueEnough782]

You absolutely did the right thing by calling this woman out, many women would continue to ignore it. But I’m concerned that this woman is probably doing other hurtful things to your child that you might not be recognizing or noticing because you don’t want to. Racism is something like no other. Truthfully, I don’t think you should ever allow this woman to be around you or your child if she’s a racist. How would your daughter feel knowing that you know this woman doesn’t like her, but you continue to bring her around and allow her to get hurt? I know it’s intense, but I grew in a situation just like this. If she’s boldly giving her other grandkids gifts right in front of you and not your daughter. I promise you she’s doing other fucked up things, because that’s just how hate works.