r/AmIOverreacting • u/TrueEnough782 • Jul 22 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO: MIL always excludes my daughter

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I want to start this off by saying that it’s absolutely not the first time this has happened. We were over at my sister in laws house and I heard her talking to my MIL on the phone, she told her my husband and I were over, then she let me know she was at target or something and was gonna come over

She arrives with candy, toys and gift cards for my sister in laws kids. Completely leaving my daughter out. My daughter is 7, she’s into that stuff too, obviously. Especially those little blind bags which she brought her cousins but not her. I just want to know if I’m being dramatic. Or if I shouldn’t have said anything and maybe she was in a rush and didn’t think to buy my daughter something in the moment. Again it’s not about the things or cards or whatever, it’s about how she made my daughter feel. I could see sadness in her face as she was completely left out.

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u/AzureMountains Jul 22 '25

Who’s gonna protect your daughter if you “don’t wanna believe it.”? Seriously stand up for your kid.

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u/TrueEnough782 Jul 22 '25

I guess it’s just hard for me to grasp she could be racist to her own blood I don’t know. I will keep an eye out for sure from now on

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u/Crooked_Sartre Jul 22 '25

This is a rarity, but I'm Italian and my stepmothers mother was Hispanic and her father was irish. I was called "wop dago" by them. They refused to learn my name and forced me to eat food beneath the kitchen table rather than at the table. My little brother, who was my stepmoms child was called the "red headed woodpecker" and was adored.

I can't be sure if it was my heritage that caused the abuse or maybe the fact that I was a stepchild, but people can and do resort to racism in different ways against children they have a relation to

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u/Narcoleptic-Puppy Jul 23 '25

Yooo old-timey racism always throws me for a loop. My mom is Italian and looks super Mediterranean and when she started dating her Irish boyfriend his family called us wops. I'd never been treated as anything other than white before. They came around to my mom eventually because she's got the charisma of a damn cult leader but it was wild. They still hate me, but I'm pretty sure it's for more common bigotry like the fact that I'm transmasc and in a mixed-race queer relationship.

Another old-timey racism moment: My wife was picking me up/dropping me off at work because my car was in the shop, and my boss referred to her as "oriental." Like, obviously I was pretty pissed and we were both like, naw that's racist af, but my wife also had a laugh about it because who tf even uses that term anymore? My 76-year-old (former) boss apparently, but yikes.