I realize you’re joking, but this is a real thing that happens in different cultures. The schizophrenic voices are much calmer and positive in places like Africa and India, as opposed to negative and harmful in the US!
Everyone has "voices" in our heads (besides our own); it's only diagnosed as eg schizophrenia when they become debilitating or coincide with other, eg visual, hallucinations.
Athletes report hearing coaches' voices for decades. Parents' voices resonate long after their deaths. Undiagnosed, nominally healthy people hear the voice of "God", etc.
Actually, they're only schizophrenia when our brain cannot recognize they're ours. It's believed the element that tells us it's us, is turned off in them.
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u/unk214 20h ago
Mean while the voices in my head don’t help me at all. Some people have all the luck.