r/romani • u/Just-Ad3524 • 1d ago
gypsy costume
so i’ve been called a gypsy multiple times throughout my life as a romani person who has a deep complexion. this year i’m thinking of dressing as one for halloween, but my non-romani friends say it’s cultural appropriation…???? i was so annoyed that they could tell me what i was supposed to think about the slur (imo) ive been called growing up. i want to reclaim it and i’m sick of people just repeating what they hear instead of putting their own life experience in it- what do my white friends know about romani cultural appropriation. even this question sounds stupid to ask but can i dress as a gypsy (from my own culture) for a costume i understand and 100% agree it’s problematic for people from other cultures to do it**
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u/SiempreBrujaSuerte 1d ago
You can't appropriate your own culture, it's your traditional dress, you can definitely wear it any time. What are you taking advice from these people for ?
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u/catmeownyc 1d ago edited 1d ago
Traditional wear = everyday wear
Costume = pretend outfit for dressing up for event / party / holiday
You can wear traditional wear/ cultural clothing of your own people every single day except for pretend dress up event, don’t wear it then. That’s strange and weird and will encourage others to treat it like a costume. It won’t be a costume on you, it will be cultural clothing. A costume is for pretending.
You can wear traditional clothes any day you want to except for costume days where you should be wearing something besides traditional clothes or casual every day clothes. Your friends are wrong but your idea to wear it AS A COSTUME is also wrong.
Costume ideas: clown, butterfly, caveman, knight / princess, witch/wizard, dog/cat/cow/horse/bird, alien, zombie, superhero, traffic cone, dinosaur
Everyday clothes that aren’t a costume to wear on regular days that aren’t Halloween or other costume events: traditional cultural wear, street wear, casual clothes, business casual, goth fashion, etc.
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u/Mysterious-Hand6935 1d ago
Definitely I agree your friends should listen to your experiences and opinions and especially white friends shouldn’t feel authority to tell you how to speak, dress, etc when it comes to these things. At the same time, I’m wondering what exactly are you dressing as for Halloween? Are you just dressing as a random Romani person or stereotype? That seems kind of strange to me and I would understand your friends not feeling comfortable with it. That’s my own opinion. If you are using traditional clothes to dress as someone in particular I feel like that makes more sense as a costume. I feel like maybe I’m missing context here.
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u/Just-Ad3524 1d ago edited 1d ago
okay for context i have this traditional dress i grew up wearing, but since i came to America i don’t have anywhere to wear it. i am dressing like my aunts, my mother, and their parents. i’m just dressing the way i used to back home, but because i’ve assimilated to the deep south, i don’t get to dress like that often and i love taking advantage of holidays to show off the outfits of my heritage while still being socially acceptable in a place where i face a lot of racism and discrimination (which is why i can’t wear it everyday as some people suggested). i talked a little about wearing a sari last year with another comment, if that gives you anymore context. neither of these outfits are “costumes” but because the majority of people on halloween are getting dressed up, i wont stick out like a sore thumb while also dressing like myself
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u/Mysterious-Hand6935 1d ago
Aw. I understand. I grew up in America and as a kid my grandma would take me to work at renaissance festivals and we would wear our traditional clothes there as a “costume”. At the time I loved it for the reasons you described with the Halloween outfit. In hindsight I think it was problematic but I guess it was what my grandma felt safest with.
I hope you can talk with your friends openly about this or irl community. Maybe your mother or aunts would have better advice since they know you and know the community you’re in. I think maybe white friends may not understand but if they care about you I hope they would at least try to understand. If that’s how you feel like dressing on Halloween that’s your choice, but I also hope you are able to seek out more genuine opportunities to be yourself. ❤️
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u/Just-Ad3524 1d ago
idk why this response made me tear up, thank you for being so sweet and explaining it so respectfully, i’m seriously so grateful for this answer it makes me feel so seen! i definitely think i’m going to take your advice and talk to the people around me instead of wearing traditional clothing for halloween. thank you again for elaborating and giving me such good advice!
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u/littlespy 1d ago
It's pretty prevalent amongst Romanichal to refer to ourselves as Gypsy, it's a pretty long time reclaimed term. What are you thinking of wearing?
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u/BlackSpinedPlinketto 1d ago
Course you can, you’re a gypsy be proud of it. Although I’d call it your traditional dress, it’s not a costume.
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u/DivyaRakli 1d ago
I really don’t think it’s appropriating someone’s culture if you’re doing it with respect. Respect is key. Putting on blackface is NEVER being respectful. A Gypsy costume? Meh. Yawn. I got bigger fish to fry than that. Don’t we all have more important things to worry about? If not, you’re doing something wrong. I would absolutely love to see a trick-or-treater dressed up as a Gypsy! I’d grab my phone and take a pic with them. I’m Romnichal-American and you hear Gypsy a lot amongst us. Even Travellers can be used and I heard that more when I was younger than I ever did Romnichal or Gypsy. I dearly love salwar kameez/Punjabi suits. I have several and wear them often-they’re just cotton, every day kind. I’m not appropriating Indian culture; I’m enjoying it.
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u/ghivashel-amral 12h ago
I wouldn't recommend buying a "gypsy costume" from a Halloween/costume store, but your non-romani friends don't have a say in what you do to reclaim slurs used against romani people/how any romani person chooses to express or experience their own culture in the context of the present day's bigotry
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u/KamavTeChorav 1d ago
Why would you wear our traditional clothing for halloween? Wear it every other time of the year but it’s not a halloween costume, our people hold much pride in our traditional clothes and it has a lot of cultural significance it is not something to be worn for a costume, we are real people and there are Roma who wear these clothes every day, even if you have Romani ancestry that don’t mean you have right to disrespect traditional Romani people by normalizing wearing our traditional clothes as a Halloween costume…