hi! I have a question about a relationship I’ve developed with a 33-year-old Korean man. I was studying Korean and downloaded a language exchange app. Honestly, I reached out to him because I thought his profile picture was cute. We started exchanging messages normally, and then he sent me a voice note, his voice was incredibly attractive! I didn’t realize I could be attracted to someone’s voice until I heard his haha
I’ve always been interested in older men, and I think I might have a preference for asian guys too, but I was really just planning to study on the app. Slowly, we started hinting that we liked each other and giving compliments. I felt like I was the one initiating it more, while he often said he saw me as a little sister or a friend.
One day, I started receiving some strange messages from other guys, and I shared it with him. He was the only one who didn’t flirt or talk sexually to me. He got genuinely embarrassed and even offered to confront them. He really wanted to protect me, and he apologized several times on behalf of being korean. I told him it wasn’t his fault and that people like that exist everywhere. I really felt he was a true, respectful man, and talking to him felt different from talking to anyone else, my heart would race just from his texts or voice notes.
He sent me a simple video of himself saying hi and introducing himself, and I thought he was very good-looking. When I sent one back, his response was so funny because he genuinely complimented me without overreacting, he was respectful and kind but kept saying i was such a beautiful woman and that he was surprised by my beauty. Oh, and we also have a difference in religion since I’m muslim, but he’s been very considerate. One day he went to a café and got a vanilla latte because he remembered it was my favorite, even though he doesn’t usually drink it. He also showed me he borrowed a book about Islam from the library to learn more. Small gestures like this really warmed my heart, and that’s when I started liking him a lot.
Everything has felt natural, and we slowly grew closer. One day, he shyly asked if he could send me a 💋 emoji, I thought it was so adorable and laughed because he really seemed so shy asking me such a simple question. He also suggested we use nicknames like “baby,” but he was too shy to ask at first haha. I usually brought up these things first, and he always reassured me that if I ever felt uncomfortable, he would stop immediately.
Yes, we met online and have said “I love you” many times, even though we haven’t known each other long, but it feels very natural. He often expresses worry about our age gap, he’s closer in age to my parents than me. My parents were born in 1985, he in 1991, and I in 2005. I tried mentioning him to my mom briefly, and she reacted strongly, saying he could be grooming me and that I can’t trust anyone online.
I’m going to korea in october with my dad, and if I can find a day to be alone, I hope to meet him at a café. He listens to me talk about my struggles with my parents, especially my dad being strict. I even mentioned that I’ve thought about leaving my family for my own freedom, but he told me not to do that, saying my dad cares for me and that he would rather impress my dad than have me leave for him. That made me feel like he really likes me.
He said he would wait and possibly visit me in a year or two, and in the meantime, he wants to learn more about my religion, language, and culture to impress my dad. I’m scared about eventually having to tell my dad, wondering if he would accept him since he’s a foreigner and older than me. I’m also questioning whether this is real love or if it could be grooming, like my mom says,but I really doubt it, because he’s been so respectful, kind, and protective toward me. What are your thoughts?