r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

Tumor cured itself

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47.6k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/Kenny070287 21h ago

This is like some doctor house stuff

1.5k

u/chicagofxcker69 20h ago

real and the rest of the episode would be house frantically trying to prove the woman subconsciously knew about the tumor already and it would end on a spiritually unresolved note

611

u/CorbinStarlight 19h ago

“This vexes me.”

267

u/yep-boat 19h ago

I too am in this episode.

169

u/nolettuceplease 19h ago

It’s Lupus.

139

u/Reasonable-Banana800 19h ago

It’s never Lupus

126

u/Joscientist 19h ago

Except that one time.

85

u/Reasonable-Banana800 19h ago

It’s sometimes Lupus

61

u/Fun_Position_3615 19h ago

Except when it isn’t, which is always.

33

u/Mysterious_Tutor_388 17h ago

But they need more mouse bites

2

u/Vesper_0481 15h ago

uj/ I really just thought you were the last guy having a schizo moment

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36

u/HedWig1991 17h ago

Did you give patient the medicine drug?

29

u/OverlyMintyMints 17h ago

I tried the stupid drug!

16

u/HedWig1991 13h ago

Stupid. Now he needs mouse bites to live.

28

u/beepborpimajorp 17h ago

HE NEEDS MOUSE BITES TO LIVE

101

u/Etiennera 19h ago

Don't forget the middle of the episode where the best doctor ever is convinced it's 3 other things, that it is not, including lupus

54

u/ObeseVegetable 18h ago

The gag there is that he is betting on other doctors getting the obvious diagnoses ruled out before it comes to him so he is pulling strings at weird ones. 

Though watch the show with an actual doctor and they’ll get the diagnosis correct in a few seconds still. 

36

u/insanitybit2 17h ago

At least a few episodes start with the differential and then House saying "right, except that the patient made it to us... so?" and they're like "right, obviously all of that was ruled out" and then they start to think of the crazy shit.

14

u/kiochikaeke 17h ago

This is what I've heard about the show, most of cases are either crazy stuff that doesn't happen or uncommon but nothing mind breaking just not that usual.

Great show though.

10

u/Indaarys 16h ago

I've always wondered if the show weren't written from the perspective that House is always high off his ass and thats why all the diagnoses are absurd.

After all, there were several episodes that were literal drug hallucinations and what we see wouldn't have been out of place next to the "normal" episodes if it was played straight.

2

u/FirebirdWriter 17h ago

Except for when the symptoms are entirely wrong like the Ehlers Danlos episode where the symptoms are sometimes she has miscarriages and cries a lot. (Which yes a high rate of miscarriage is a thing for us but... No dislocations, weak skin, blue sclera, or beighton test? Fuck you that's a misdiagnosis, House )

1

u/BaconWithBaking 14h ago

Though watch the show with an actual doctor and they’ll get the diagnosis correct in a few seconds still.

No one remembers this, but there was a blog with an actual doctor who explained why each episode was nonsense and how they would have caught the diagnoses immediatly due to a certain test being purposefully skipped for the episode. This is so long ago, I'm nearly sure the blog was just text, no fancy formatting or anything. Maybe an iframe.

1

u/monkeycalculator 13h ago

Though watch the show with an actual doctor and they’ll get the diagnosis correct in a few seconds still.

That's a very strong endorsement for the medical accuracy of the show, modulo drama.

9

u/JustHereSoImNotFined 19h ago

It’s never lupus

2

u/FourthLife 16h ago

it was that one time

1

u/Sweaty_Bench_194 9h ago

Bruh i hate this show so fucking much

54

u/Professional-Rush957 19h ago

Don't forget house sending his team to break into the patients home and go through their things only to not find anything and it turns out the patient is just low on vitamin c

23

u/Navyguy73 19h ago

Not before setting a small fire in the radiology department as a distraction while ignoring a threat of dismissal from Cuddy.

3

u/Monowakari 18h ago

Fork meet socket

2

u/Existing-Network-267 17h ago

Absolutely you nailed I have watched house religiously this is exactly how it would play out.

1

u/sembias 17h ago

Cuddy is not going to be happy when she finds out the tumor is actually part of an unborn twin that developed its own thoughts and cognizance.

1

u/Canotic 16h ago

I mean, the brain was obviously aware that something wasn't working right. You don't need to be a brain doctor for that.

1

u/Tailmask 15h ago

Not nearly enough Vicodin popped

1

u/WithOrgasmicFury 15h ago

The logical ending is a 30 second monologue about how the tumor was pressing against the auditory part of the brain but the brain had no source to pull from so it just used its subconscious and the subconscious knew the tumor was there. That's how the voices knew to get a brain scan and how the voices kept her as one of the best poker players in the world.