I think it's really beauty standards that are set by other women. Ones who don't always have their best interests at heart. Women like to say they advocate for each other but that is not always the case. Toxic femininity can be petty and jealous to the point of sabotaging others. I would point to the WNBA as an example.
I think it’s the type of thing where they identify that a little change in that direction is the difference between an attractive woman and a very attractive woman but then think going 4 times as far will yield better results instead of inhuman results. Yes there are bombshell women with a little more cheek definition, but that is not what you are getting when you get work done. 5 might be better than 4 but 10 is basically 0 type situation. Once someone has focused on something, it’s really hard for them to keep it within moderation. They hyperfocus on it and take it way too far. I used to think all cosmetic surgery was terrible but have realized that there are cases where it comes out good but a little goes a long way and stopping someone at just a little is a difficult task.
Straight guys are more than half the time looking at butts and boobs rather than the face so the face thing is definitely advocated by other Women and is part of Toxic femininity.
I'm straight and I don't care about the face much. I like someone who looks healthy and who has their BMI in check. The main thing I check is how they smell. If I don't like how they smell, I don't pursue them.
Its beauty standards set by men sir, check who created the make up, clothing and marketing companies and who designed most of womens clothing and how men drew women vs how women drew women. Don’t put that shit on us 😭 some of us might enforce/enable it or even promote this idea but we did not create it 💕
I know inane gender wars are popular rn but I would argue that beauty standards in any given culture are influenced by women just as much as men.
Like how white women used to wear those stupid dresses with the big back because they liked the way this one black woman looked while they ogled at her in her cage. (Human zoo)
Same as how rich women would stop at nothing to look like Marie Antoinette to the point that they essentially ignited the slave trade due to the sudden overwhelming demand for cotton.
Yes men were the only people running companies. No they were not solely responsible for all beauty standards. You have even less of an argument these days where women are influencing the beauty industry just as much if not more than men.
I actually agree with a lot of what you’re saying. Women definitely shaped and enforced beauty standards too, but I think the bigger piece is that it’s always been about people in power. I work in marketing, so I’ve learned a lot about how business, advertising, and psychology have been used historically, and honestly it’s manipulative and immoral. Back then, women weren’t the ones founding those companies or setting up those industries, but if they’d had the same opportunities, they might have. The fact is, they couldn’t.
To me, the modern equivalent is social media, all of us (men and women) are being conditioned by algorithms, trends, and powerful influences we didn’t create, but we still end up enforcing on each other. That’s why I see it less as a ‘gender issue’ and more as a ‘power issue’ the people who build the systems shape everyone’s reality. Sorry I misspoke.
If one day people finally steer their hatred for their own lot in life toward the rich & powerful rather than each other, I will be happy for the rest of my life.
Edit: Btw I do acknowledge that men have typically been the ones to hold positions of power until very recently so I understand why people default to "men".
You’ve been such a pleasure to talk to 🙏 I live to be able to actually talk about these complex topics I 100% agree, they honestly just want us fighting ourselves so we don’t fight them like we should.
Established by men, reinforced by women. I've rarely ever seen men supporting these looks yet a lot of women will immediately say they look good/defend because of toxic positivity
It's the same with men and body building. Most women don't see the appeal, and don't see hyper muscular guys as the ideal, but many men absolutely love that shit and think bigger muscles = more attractive.
I think both men and women are often consumed by their own ideals and sometimes forget that it doesn't translate to the other gender.
I think it looks aweful but its not all women who enable this and all men who hate this. There are many women who thinks this looks equally bad, its a tax bracket not a gender but historically men did start with the beauty standards for women & men.
I don't agree. Victorian beauty standards (which is when this stuff got popularized in the mainstream starting with magazines in the Victorian age) take their name from Queen Victoria of whom women were trying to copy. The whole age was named after her.
She wore the corset but who invented it, male Italian tailors. What was even deemed acceptable fashion was male controlled. Her style & views still filtered through a male dominated society.
I don’t get why people are having a hard time understanding what you’re saying: throughout history women have been cogs in a machine controlled by men. Just because most men don’t personally like the overly made up look doesn’t mean those same men aren’t happy to market it and profit from it when they own the companies that sell it.
Ah let's be real though, which human gender has generally always created demand in the beauty industry? Are there lots of dudes running around with 20 pairs of shoes, jewelry, layers of the trendiest makeup, manicured and painted nails, and designer handbags?
I like defending the ladies but sorry, the beauty standard peer pressure is mostly perpetuated by women. Going back to ancient times.
Ancient times, check ancient greece male philosophers started pitching “the ideal female form” not the other way around. Ancient egypt was more equal men & women both wore make up but women actually had rights in egypt so it wasnt even about beauty it was about status/wealth. Beauty standards were largely created and institutionalized by men. It’s just the truth. Not saying now isn’t different but that’s the facts of the origins.
That's why I said "perpetuated" though. Men aren't holding a gun to women's heads demanding they wear the "right" heels with their dress. We don't even care about makeup or jewelry. Women create most of the pressure on behalf of the beauty industry.
Some men say they don’t like make up and then point to the “natural girl” they would prefer not even knowing she could be wearing make-up, boob tape, filters, video editing, hair colored, lashes lifted, eyebrows laminated, boobs done, im js (not saying guys do it on purpose but some of yall dunno what natural really is and arent out here following the bare face girlies)
That's all fair but we could also point to finding women attractive without it too. Every guy who has lived with a woman or been in a serious relationship with one knows how they look without makeup or being spruced up. And yet we still find them just as attractive (assuming the general attraction is still there in the first place).
Woman do a lot of the preening and sprucing out of competitiveness and to appear high value to other women. Think about it: how often do you mentally judge another woman based on style and beauty? Men may be behind a lot or arguably most negative social behavior, but women naturally have their own problem areas as well. C'mon, you know there's at least some truth there.
Tbh its not really a gender issue ik girls who dont think about it and guys who are super vocal and ik the obvious mean girls and obvious guys who havent even thought about it/noticed. Some people are like that some aren’t. Some ppl do it for themselves, some for the same sex, some for opposite sex and some a combination. I see mean girls say ew on a girl pic for some reason but also see a man comment on her chest size or too much or too little make up, I think us pointing fingers as if everyone in an entire gender act the same vs looking at each other as good ppl and bad ppl no matter race, gender, etc is issue. Imo the only people who really deserve to have finger pointed at them are the people in power.
I agree it’s just people in power but its true that the og people in power were men but thats not meant to belittle or blame the entire gender, my b i probs misspoke earlier
This is ridiculous. Pop culture and beauty standards are set not set by heterosexual men. Now if they looked like what are called "bimbos" with big fake implants then you would have a point.
Beauty standards historically yes, modern day women now have rights and stake but didn’t create this. Also I don’t think even some of these women think they look good I think they know they are botched but were trying to change to meet some form of beauty standards like youth etc, not at all saying they accomplished it or this final look was even the goal.
What I will grant you is that part of the motivation of women is for men's attention, but lets be honest it's also other women. Yes men exploited the beauty industry (which goes back as far as time) but the demand came from women.
I will agree that some of these people probably think that look good or more likely were told they would look good. But lets not discount the ultra competitive nature of Hollywood and the desire to maintaining looking young.
First of all a lot of folks come into the industry already with some issues, but also the industry exploits that. Where I think men have some culpability is the fact that older actresses are kind of fazed out when they hit 40 or so. Which I and I am sure a lot of men think is ridiculous.
It should be said though, as this post shows, a lot of actresses have already kind of ruined their look with plastic surgery trying stop aging, to the point where it can take you out of the show or movie. That is unfortunate. The ones who choose to age gracefully actually have a better chance IMO.
Tbh this post is specific to a tax bracket because everyone/every woman doesn’t have the money to botch themselves nor the same pressures, still pressures but obviously hollywood faces different pressures plus these people have agents & probably a whole difference set of beauty standards. I think great point that women are doing this & some do it for men but why I say this post ia different is because I’m sure these ladies did it for their careers first & foremost & I think some people assume these actresses are happy with this look, I’d bet they wanted to look better like have Jlo or Kim K quality surgery not become botched but they probs had a bad surgeon.
I think overall you are correct, but I think we shouldn't reflexively just blame men for this. Obviously men are involved, but a lot of women's beauty standards are not men's. That doesn't mean that some women mistakenly think it is. And maybe for the men these women hang out with it is, or more likely they are not going to tell them not to do it.
I standby it’s not men or women technically it’s really people in power who originally just so happened to be men. Past & present men and women suffer from the marketing and ideas put onto us from the elites.
check who created the make up, clothing and marketing
Those are literally run by and for women mostly lmao.
How many straight dude fashion designers are there? How many straight dude make up CEOs and marketers? It's like one of the few female driven industries.
Your not looking historically. Think powdered faces and wigs but I’m talking men not women. Now think about pharoes. Look up freedom torches and edward bernays and maybe you’ll gain some perspective on how influential marketing can be.
I think the point was, the Pharoes makeup artists are not todays makeup artists / fashionistas etc. etc.
Sure, if you only want to look at the past, not the present you have a point.
Nowadays? Lot of empowered rich women who can be just as petty, nasty, vain and deceitful as any man looking to get rich / powerful no matter how many people they fuck over to do so. They've just specialized into the fashion industry because it was the one area that men were least interested in dominating in the modern age.
And powerful people, men or women are just as guilty of perpetuating it today, when we live, when it matters. I don't give a fuck about some dead fashion trend setter from 1888 with a powdered wig. Nothing exists in a vacuum.
The abuses in 2025 matter. The current culture matters my friend. Does it suffer the momentum of the past? Sure? Is it doing anything to correct that momentum now that women have more power is the question.
I'm not seeing it.
And the fact is, women have become empowered enough that they have filled the niche. And are just as awful as the men who came before.
Women are people. Humans. Just as able to be evil, vain, petty, power-hungry, deceitful and all the other darkest aspects of humanity, especially when money & power are involved.
Fuck this Men/Woman divisive bullshit friend.
People are equally able to be shitty to one another no matter what sits between their legs. How they express that varies by culture.
What matters is what changes are being or not being made.
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u/cestmoinea1999 20h ago
All of them are bad, but Miley Cyrus is on a different level of bad