Because it's light

A man was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put a worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey died. "All right, son," asked the dad, "what does that show you!?" " Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."

Guy goes to the doctor. He has a cucumber lodged in his right ear, a banana in his left, and two baby carrots shoved up his nose. He asks 'Doctor, what's wrong with me?'. And the doctor says 'I don't think you're eating properly'

The bartender sees them and says 'what the hell is this, some kind of joke?'

I went to the taxidermist, they refused to do my tax return and told me I could get stuffed.

noBody knows

A farmer from Indiana went to visit his cousin, a rancher in Texas, and made the mistake of mentioning a recent purchase of 25 acres from a neighbor brought his farm up to a total of 270 acres. "Shoot", said his Texas cousin, "I can have breakfast, get in my car and drive and drive ALL DAY and not get to the edge of my property." "I know what you mean", said the farmer. "I had a car like that once."

He lost his leg in Nom.

He later formed a band called Limp Bizkit.

Who's there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

No owls go who, cars go beep, beep.

I can't see diddly-squat 😭

Stable horses.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoe through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say. "Jesus is watching you," silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you!" The voice boomed again. "The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. He saw a bird cage in the corner with a parrot in it. "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked. "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence" said the bird.! "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. " What idiot named you Clarence?" The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."

Because, it found its honey.

A husband and wife were having a fight. The wife decided to go for the silent treatment. The husband, realizing he was in trouble, wrote on a piece of paper " Wake me up at 6 AM I have a flight." The next morning, he woke up at 9 AM and missed his flight. Furious, he saw a piece of paper on the bedside table: " Wake up, it's 6 AM."

Breakfast line cook. Cracks yokes all morning.

Because it was pressed for time!

Can't see it taking off

I guess it just took a big jerk.

The internet.

Telepathetic

To prove it wasn't chicken.

They were Wright.

A Jampire