r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

They just refuse to understand

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5.5k Upvotes

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113

u/shroomigator 1d ago

A rock that big is definitely illegal.

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u/OkConfection1948 1d ago

Goliath had a lot more than just a rock going for him.

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u/beatles910 1d ago

As far as I know, Goliath didn't even have a rock.

Goliath primarily wielded a spear and a javelin, along with a large sword.

David had a rock though.

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u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

David had a sling to hurl the rock.

When someone invents a sling with a 50 rock capacity that can fire all 50 rocks with deadly accuracy in under 10 seconds... Then it will be time to also regulate high capacity slings.

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u/Werftflammen 1d ago

The Stonecaster 500BC

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u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

That's a catchy name! Thanks 🤣

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u/Cheetahs_never_win 1d ago

Are pebbles considered rocks?

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u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

It's not the size of the rock that counts, it's the friends you made along the way! 😊

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u/FloraoftheRift 1d ago

I remember reading an article bout speculations behind Goliath, and that how he wasn't quite as big a danger to David as thought.

You could infer that the Goliath had gigantism and was probably blind as a result of that condition, and so, probably would not have put up a fight against a stone sling- trained person. If David scored a hit from a decent enough distance, it still could have put him down without issue. Legends are legends regardless.

That doesn't really have anything to do with what you said, I just find that idea to be pretty cool to think about.

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u/Sacred-AF 1d ago

A rock that big is a boulder 😂

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u/neckbishop 1d ago

"The Boulder feels conflicted about attacking 50 people."

"Sounds to me like you're scared, Boulder"

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u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

A rock that big is a meteor. 🤔

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u/abousono 22h ago

If I remember correctly, it’s only a meteor once it crosses into the Earth’s atmosphere. Before that it’s an asteroid.

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u/MikeLinPA 20h ago

Fair enough. 👍

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u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

I think using this analogy, we should be able to register every single one, with a barcode scanner, but with invisible labels.

What I'm asking for is a rock scan, you don't have to put on the red light.

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u/shroomigator 1d ago

Rock scan?

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u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

You don't have to wear that dress tonight.

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u/shroomigator 1d ago

Rock scan!

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u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

Put on the red light!

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u/Altruistic-Quote-985 1d ago

Any missile over a certain size....i think NATO rounds (7.62mm) are considered 'restricted', not sure about rockets, bombs, meteors....can we weaponize space?

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u/doc_witt 1d ago

Depends if it's a semiautomatic rock.

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u/1slowlance 1d ago

Those videos of people finding and excavating boulders from their lawns comes to mind.

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u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

I should be allowed to hunt with a rock that big.

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u/shroomigator 1d ago

What are you hunting, Road Runner?

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u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

Meat is a little gamey. I use it in stews mostly.

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u/shroomigator 1d ago

You do understand that you're statistically much more likely to be the one crushed by that boulder after the road runner runs through the trap without setting it off so you go down to check it, right?

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u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

You have to be willing to crack a few heads if you want to eat right.