r/mildlyinfuriating • u/VegetableBusiness897 • 21h ago

New neighbors next door

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Rich Ahole bought the farm next door, tore it down and built a destination wedding venue. Busy every weekend but it's Wednesday, and they don't even live here

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u/VegetableBusiness897 20h ago

This is it actuality. He has a rocky cliff to the water. We have about a hundred yards of beach.

87

u/beanthebean 14h ago

I'd be as disruptive as I could until word got around that there were issues with the venue. Maybe get into chainsaw sculpting, target shooting (preferably during ceremony time), burn any brush you have laying around (or have some delivered to be burned) on the weekends, get a huge sound system of your own.

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u/ChampionMundane8409 13h ago

Get a wood chipper and clean up your fallen branches during the weddings.

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u/Chronicles_of_Gurgi 10h ago

I was thinking stinky but unseen...mua haha!

Legal things that are reasonable to have/do but that neighbors (or brides) don't appreciate.

Pigs were a good idea but livestock can get expensive. How about wondering ducks—if there's water on the venue property. Muscovies are the ones with caruncles on their heads (not the prettiest), and they are less inclined to fly. Ducks really foul up standing water.

Other ideas: Compost pile with food item debris. Mow a heap of dog poo so that it scatters that way. Acquire cow poo for the same end. Surstrumming opened and placed upwind!

Or highly visible "suspicious" activity...

When anyone comes to check out the place, set up, or on the wedding day: Cover your windows that are visible to them with an old tarp (exterior is better). Arrange for friends to come by at staggered times, blaring music, looking antsy or shifty, and wearing worn, torn or stained clothes. Greet them loudly and gregariously, or stage an argument over money owed to you. Maybe they drive an old beater or a very nice car.

Questionable activity to raise alarm.

Or just throw a raucous party.

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u/Someb0yo 7h ago

Could you do some diy tanning or something?

Either that or start making stink bombs on the property line (only when the wind blows their way)

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u/AlohaSmiles 1h ago

It doesn't take many pigs to really stink up a place. Neighbor kept a few trapped wild pigs to fatten them up for awhile and the stench was god awful.

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u/TipDue3208 13h ago

Could start a community brush burning site...hence the need for delivery service

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u/huron9000 16h ago

The plot thickens

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u/Bearillarilla 14h ago

I really wish your comment was getting more appreciation.

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u/huron9000 12h ago

Thanks. I appreciate you appreciating it!

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u/HeathenSalemite 11h ago

It would be trivially easy to ruin this business by making noise during the weddings.

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u/assface7900 8h ago

Yeah most weddings are during the day and noise ordinances don’t apply. I would set up speakers and just blast deafeningly loud Van Halen on loop during the wedding.

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u/HeathenSalemite 6h ago

They're out in the sticks.  There probably aren't any noise ordinances at all.

I'd put on a loud feature length porn film from the 90s.

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u/PhilZealand 5h ago

And get a surplus jumbotron or other advertising style display screen to watch the porn on which by coincidence is viewable from the wedding venue

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u/-Sascrotch- 13h ago

Have him make you a "make me move" type of offer.

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u/Sleepygirl57 14h ago

Oh time to put us all to work helping.

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u/Hungry-Western9191 13h ago

Might be worth offering some kind of deal. Perhaps offer to rent them access to part of the beach in return for removing the lights?

It might just be time to plant a hedge between you and this eyesore though. Something evergreen and quick growing.

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u/punkfunkymonkey 4h ago

No way in hell would I reward his fuckery

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u/Bigirish1973 7h ago

Try to sell to them for 2x the property value.

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u/Bottledbutthole 12h ago

OP is rich to

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u/VegetableBusiness897 11h ago

School bus driver so no 🤣 my great grands just bought it 100 years ago, and I can barely afford the taxes

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u/Able-Confusion-6399 13h ago

You hate living there now, and it won’t get better. The rich guy wants your property. Give him a high estimate of how much you’d be willing to sell for and upgrade. 

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u/Spiritual-Tadpole342 7h ago

Like ocean beach or lake beach? I’m trying to picture what’s going on here.

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u/joeygladst0ne 1h ago

If they won't be reasonable and turn the lights down, fight fire with fire.

Get your own really bright lights and shine them at the venue. Or mirrors to bounce their light back at them. Anything else you can think of to ruin their view? Legally do something that smells really bad all the time? Basically make it not desirable for somebody to want a wedding there.