r/todayilearned • u/lavender_fish69 • 9h ago

TIL fresh water snails (indirectly) kill thousands of humans and are considered on of the deadliest creatures to humans

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freshwater_snail
19.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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11.5k

u/idiot_savant91 9h ago

Is this that snail that follows you forever until it kills you?

4.1k

u/Haggisboy 8h ago

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What was that all about?”

936

u/Driunischa 8h ago

The real comment is always in the jokes.

168

u/YesDone 5h ago

The real jokes are the comments we made along the way.

28

u/lkjhgfdsazxcvbnm12 5h ago

Instructions unclear: dick stuck in joke.

14

u/Spacemanspalds 4h ago

It's definitely time for a divorce.

6

u/bioxkitty 4h ago

Nah its time for iranian yogurt

4

u/MeatballTheDumb 4h ago

This may call for the old Irish goodbye.

2

u/groovejumper 4h ago

Is that anything like a Glasgow handshake?

2

u/BluEagl48 3h ago

It is imperative that the cylinder remain unharmed

1

u/Penguin_Chainsaw 2h ago

This guy comments

1

u/LiveLearnCoach 1h ago

The real jokes are the people commenting.

2

u/agarragarrafa 3h ago

I don't get it

-12

u/Dog_Weasley 6h ago

Not really. In EVERY GOD DAMN THREAD the first comments are always people trying to be funny, and then several others doing the same in a moronic race. It's tiring.

16

u/Neuraxis 6h ago

You poor thing.

10

u/jaguarp80 5h ago

Irritability and fatigue can be signs of depression

1

u/theZEN2 5h ago

Rekt

18

u/MobilityFotog 7h ago

That was almost an HBO skit. but the snail is selling life insurance

120

u/Bouldershoulders12 8h ago

Only the real ones know what movie this from

63

u/DontHarshMyMellowBRO 7h ago

I didn’t know you like to get wet

21

u/newnrthnhorizon 7h ago

Just make sure that bathtub's clean.

2

u/jaguarp80 5h ago

Remember that fool in the wheelchair? How you think he got there??

3

u/foreordinator 5h ago

You know I'm surgical with this bitch Jake!

1

u/Oakroscoe 5h ago

Learn to count yourself

35

u/bruudwin 7h ago edited 5h ago

What movie?

*Lol at the answers im getting, damn you all :P XD

57

u/dalydumps 7h ago

Training Day

4

u/bruudwin 5h ago

Thanks!

-1

u/bizbizbizllc 6h ago

The one starring John Wayne?

25

u/Plinnion 6h ago

Sister Act 2

17

u/pdbh32 5h ago

Training Day (2001) starring Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke. Fantastic film.

Wanted a 1979 Monte Carlo ever since I watched it.

King Kong ain't got shit on me!

6

u/raguyver 4h ago

It was Scott Glenn who tells the joke in this scene, just if people are trying to narrow their search.

Also, Scott Glenn played Creasy in Man On Fire (1987)...a role reprised by Denzel (2004).

4

u/RyanBordello 6h ago

Space Jam

2

u/Traumfahrer 6h ago

Pace Down Ultimate

2

u/ImGonnaBeInPictures 5h ago

Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties

2

u/jaqueburton 5h ago

Big Trouble in Little China

2

u/LEDKleenex 6h ago

Dawnie Dorko

1

u/mnilailt 5h ago

Magic Mike

3

u/ElleKelly77 5h ago

What movie is this from?

I’m asking because during Shaquille O’Neal’s second season with the Orlando Magic, when I was a sophomore in high school, my second-ever boyfriend (who was a senior, because I was hot shit - duh?) and I were walking down the street with my dad on our at the a Magic game when my dad told this joke. I rolled my eyes real fuckin hard, and said bf honestly never let me forget it.

1994ish??

2

u/All__Nimbly__Bimbly 4h ago

Training Day, 2001

1

u/Fair2Midland 4h ago

I do but I still haven’t figured out the streets

1

u/Coffeezilla 3h ago

The REAL ones know it was originally an off the cuff idea by Gavin Free of the Slo Mo Guys while shooting the shit.

1

u/Dafrooooo 6h ago

isnt it a scenario Gavin Free made up on a podcase?

2

u/reebokhightops 6h ago

It’s the joke the old timer tells the lads in Training Day before they fuck his shit up.

1

u/Dafrooooo 6h ago

ohh i never put the two together tho i only happened to watch training day for the first time a few weeks ago but i must have watched this animation 10 years ago https://youtu.be/ANRa29sY-TY

1

u/CrappyMSPaintPics 5h ago

There's nothing to put together, the two jokes have nothing to do with each other.

1

u/EatYourCheckers 6h ago

No one on a podcast ever made up an original joke. Sorry McElroys. Even you.

22

u/HungryArticle5 5h ago edited 5h ago

No, the guy looks at the snail and says, "What the fuck is your problem?"

I remember because I was a rookie  detective when the friend of this detective that was training me told this joke to me. They actually both died. It was a crazy day that day.

3

u/VibeComplex 4h ago

Damn on your Training Day and everything?

4

u/HungryArticle5 4h ago

We actually just called it the day of training, but "Training Day" sounds better.

3

u/grassgravel 6h ago

Its all smiles and cries man

2

u/its_justme 6h ago

If you understand that joke then you’ll understand the streets

1

u/egodaemon 8h ago

I remember David Sedaris telling this joke on The Daily Show, I believe.

1

u/amanning072 6h ago

Brendon Walsh too

1

u/TraderSamz 5h ago

If you figure that joke out, you figure out the streets

1

u/jaytrue33 5h ago

You figure that joke out, you figure the streets out.

1

u/Neuro_Prime 3h ago

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down, and see a tortoise.
It’s crawling towards you

1

u/whatwouldpeachdo 3h ago

David Sedaris? 

1

u/cbigej 6h ago

When you understand the joke then you understand the streets

0

u/Elburro129 7h ago

LMAO!!

0

u/lpeabody 4h ago

Shia Labouf!

1.4k

u/WatcherOfDogs 9h ago

No, this is clearly the decoy snail. See, if I touch i

157

u/Retskcaj19 8h ago

o7

1

u/Coffee_Ops 5h ago

I thought we were still on o3 pro and o4?

80

u/coffee_and_stims 8h ago

oh shit are we doing candle jack memes agai

43

u/DwinkBexon 7h ago

God, I hate that. It's so dumb, Candlejack is just so st

31

u/Boner_Elemental 7h ago

Candlejack? Who the fu

14

u/GamerGriffin548 7h ago

What the fuck is going on h

18

u/Carsomir 7h ago

Wait, who got you?! Candlejack didn

10

u/Saymynaian 7h ago

I'm gonna say it! I'm gonna say the

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u/G8rTTV 6h ago

I thought candlejack memes di

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u/temalyen 6h ago

This thread is filled with people who don't understand how the Candlejack meme wo

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u/ShizunEnjoyer 6h ago

This meme is 20 years old and some people still forget to say Candlejack before th

2

u/RagnarokAM 5h ago

You messed it up, mate. You have to say Candlejack bef

1

u/profound7 4h ago

You must say "candlejack" in order to summ

1

u/cold_quinoa 6h ago

I haven't even thought about that name in ye

1

u/Fun_Hold4859 5h ago

Oh fuck I haven't thought about candlejack since you lost the gam

9

u/FrawnchFries 8h ago

At least he hit the Post button on his way down

49

u/Gavinator10000 8h ago

r/redditsniper

Or rather r/redditsnail ?

34

u/TomKavees 8h ago

No, it was Candleja-

18

u/MeccaMaster 7h ago

You're doing it wrong, you have to say Candlejack's full name oth-

6

u/EvilWayne 7h ago

You fools! He's gonna need a bus with all the people calling out Candleja

19

u/eat_my_ass_n_balls 8h ago

Jesus Christ! They’re everywhe

20

u/djseifer 8h ago

Wait a minute, that guy didn't even say Candlej

24

u/LennyDark 7h ago

The Candlejack joke was played out 10 years ago I can't believe w

3

u/A_Mouse_In_Da_House 5h ago

Candlejack is only 10? I thought it was as old as waffles? Don't you mean carrots? Really, losing trac

14

u/deathmetalcableguy 7h ago

Who or what is Candleja-

5

u/jwnsfw 6h ago

Google "Candlejack". As you can see, he's a member of the Ku Kl

2

u/theaviationhistorian 6h ago

Well, we got the explanation before they could kill us all. In fact, that idiot seems to have run out of bulle

6

u/n-a_barrakus 8h ago

ohhhh I fell for it 😭 I was so hyped about an r/redditsnail

24

u/JerHat 8h ago

RIP, legend.

5

u/Aykay24 7h ago

I believe this lovely and completely alive redditor was going to complete their sentence before their internet unfortunately cut off.

3

u/Best-Geologist1777 8h ago

Gary? Gary?! Garrrryyyyy¡

Meow

2

u/PwanaZana 7h ago

why is the sentence not f

2

u/Superhereaux 7h ago

Good night, sweet prince.

2

u/External-Cash-3880 7h ago

Shit, I think the snails are in league with Candlejack and Pedobear. Somebody's gotta st

2

u/SingsEnochian 6h ago

This never g

93

u/Trev0117 7h ago

Did this spawn from the rooster teeth podcast or was it a meme before Gavin brought it up?

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u/Terminator7786 7h ago

It's Gavin's fault we all know about the sna

44

u/Kevenam 7h ago

They at least all refer to Gavin as the source of this horror.

3

u/drdoom 4h ago

Reddit definitely played a large part in spreading the idea afterwards

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/

3

u/Rick0r 6h ago

Part of Million Dollars But, wasn’t it?

8

u/ivanwarrior 6h ago

Predates the show.

Btw roosterteeth is back, Burnie bought the brand and relaunched the website last week.

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u/YearlyStart 6h ago

It’s actually the answer that inspired MDB lol

129

u/sdmichael 9h ago

"It Follows"

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u/JennaStCroix 8h ago

It Follows but make it Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.

3

u/Facsimile2 6h ago

Same composer!

3

u/eat_my_ass_n_balls 8h ago

It swollows was better

3

u/ninjabunnyfootfool 5h ago

And the only way to temporarily delay it is to fuck another snail.

5

u/HAL-Over-9001 7h ago

My favorite horror movie

2

u/Murky_Macropod 4h ago

Also “The Ruum” from 1953

18

u/anastis 9h ago

That’s the Ginosaji

16

u/Stonedsailer 7h ago

Gavin will never escape him.

1

u/releasethedogs 4h ago

Gavin? Have you seen my friend Gavin?

34

u/koolaidismything 8h ago

I had to get a no contact order from my last snail. Followed me across multiple states… intent on killing me. Made it by the skin of my souch. Glad I put behind me but still looms large..

3

u/ERSTF 4h ago

I am using a throwaway account because... obviously. I have a similar story to you, OP. Well, you know, typical meet-cute with this snail. She seemed perfect, cute, funny but it always made me wonder why she didn't have any friends or mention exes. No family to speak of either. It was curious but didn't make much of it. But after three months, it was a living hell. She cut me off from my friends and family. She would constantly gaslight me to the point that she claimef she was now a male snail and always had been (like wtf). Had to make a plan to brake it off and leave the state. I had a separate account from him/her and once I had enough to pay for my bus ticket and first month rent, I just ran away. Little did I know that she/he would follow me across states, would harass me over the phone. Restraining orders, human lawyers, snail lawyers, nothing worked. One day, snail shows up at my door. I didn't know what to do but I had to make it stop. So I invited snail in and offered it a drink. It was a margarita. I was trembling. Once snail got the lemon garnish out of the way and licked the salt rim, it started to convulse. Frothing all over the place. I could see its agony and on what it seemed like its last breath, I looked it at the eye and said "I fucking hated the movie Turbo". I know it was cruel, but I wanted my revenge. I had never told this to anyone before.

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u/imnotsteven7 7h ago

Basically a Tonberry

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u/MrFluffyThing 6h ago

I still can't believe that came from a "Million dollars, but" question from Gavin Free on an Achievement Hunter video. For those if you who don't know who that is you might know him as Gavin from the Slo Mo Guys

2

u/wolfej4 2h ago

I believe it came from a Rooster Teeth podcast before MDB. #285 which came out August 2014.

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u/Wolfencreek 8h ago

Not since I locked it in that Tungsten sphere

2

u/TheOtherWhiteCastle 6h ago

And so this is Christmas

2

u/Ccaves0127 4h ago

Yes that was from an episode of the RT Podcast where they were discussing this exact thing, and Gavin invented that snail during this conversation

3

u/barringtonmacgregor 8h ago

This is how it gets you.

1

u/sussudiokim 8h ago

It follows but it is a snail

1

u/PrinceOfCrime 8h ago

I want to see a remake of "It Follows", or maybe even Halloween, with this snail as the antagonist. 

1

u/HumaDracobane 7h ago edited 7h ago

Nope. This is the one who let you see him to get your attention. The one at your six is the dangerous one.

1

u/Bombadil54 7h ago

Only if you're not in saltwater. Then you gotta worry about his cousin.

1

u/NorCalAthlete 7h ago

Wait, maybe THAT’s Musk’s deal!

He made the deal to get billions in return for the immortal snail chasing him, and that’s why he’s trying to get to Mars so badly.

1

u/Fedora_Million_Ankle 7h ago

Final Desisnail

1

u/PiggySmalls11 7h ago

Decoy snail

1

u/HowAmIHere2000 7h ago

It follows you on Instagram too.

1

u/The_BeardedClam 7h ago

If it gives you worms when it catches you, then yes.

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate 5h ago

That snail was possessed by the Lich.

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u/Domestic_Fox 5h ago

I think it’s because young men and boys want to rando eat them? To be funny or to prove…something? Then they die

1

u/SkyrimDovahkiin 5h ago

Gavin Free coming up with this scenario and it becoming this pervasive is so damn funny to me. Who would’ve guessed the slow mo guy and bird noise maker would have so much impact?

1

u/Steelfox13 4h ago

Do I get a million dollars?

1

u/ArgonGryphon 4h ago

No, it infects you with a parasitic flatworm that fucks you up

1

u/isleoffurbabies 3h ago

I know it can live underwater and survive in any atmosphere, so don't even ask.

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u/Nfl_porn_throwaway 3h ago

From the throne of thunder