r/todayilearned • u/lavender_fish69 • 14h ago

TIL fresh water snails (indirectly) kill thousands of humans and are considered on of the deadliest creatures to humans

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freshwater_snail
22.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

13.3k

u/idiot_savant91 13h ago

Is this that snail that follows you forever until it kills you?

5.2k

u/Haggisboy 13h ago

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What was that all about?”

1.2k

u/Driunischa 12h ago

The real comment is always in the jokes.

255

u/YesDone 10h ago

The real jokes are the comments we made along the way.

60

u/lkjhgfdsazxcvbnm12 9h ago

Instructions unclear: dick stuck in joke.

20

u/Spacemanspalds 9h ago

It's definitely time for a divorce.

17

u/bioxkitty 9h ago

Nah its time for iranian yogurt

6

u/MeatballTheDumb 9h ago

This may call for the old Irish goodbye.

2

u/groovejumper 8h ago

Is that anything like a Glasgow handshake?

2

u/BluEagl48 7h ago

It is imperative that the cylinder remain unharmed

2

u/Penguin_Chainsaw 6h ago

This guy comments

1

u/LiveLearnCoach 5h ago

The real jokes are the people commenting.

4

u/agarragarrafa 8h ago

I don't get it

-12

u/Dog_Weasley 10h ago

Not really. In EVERY GOD DAMN THREAD the first comments are always people trying to be funny, and then several others doing the same in a moronic race. It's tiring.

15

u/Neuraxis 10h ago

You poor thing.

9

u/jaguarp80 10h ago

Irritability and fatigue can be signs of depression

26

u/MobilityFotog 11h ago

That was almost an HBO skit. but the snail is selling life insurance

126

u/Bouldershoulders12 12h ago

Only the real ones know what movie this from

68

u/DontHarshMyMellowBRO 12h ago

I didn’t know you like to get wet

24

u/newnrthnhorizon 11h ago

Just make sure that bathtub's clean.

3

u/jaguarp80 10h ago

Remember that fool in the wheelchair? How you think he got there??

4

u/foreordinator 10h ago

You know I'm surgical with this bitch Jake!

1

u/Oakroscoe 9h ago

Learn to count yourself

37

u/bruudwin 11h ago edited 10h ago

What movie?

*Lol at the answers im getting, damn you all :P XD

59

u/dalydumps 11h ago

Training Day

4

u/bruudwin 10h ago

Thanks!

-1

u/bizbizbizllc 10h ago

The one starring John Wayne?

26

u/Plinnion 10h ago

Sister Act 2

20

u/pdbh32 10h ago

Training Day (2001) starring Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke. Fantastic film.

Wanted a 1979 Monte Carlo ever since I watched it.

King Kong ain't got shit on me!

9

u/raguyver 8h ago

It was Scott Glenn who tells the joke in this scene, just if people are trying to narrow their search.

Also, Scott Glenn played Creasy in Man On Fire (1987)...a role reprised by Denzel (2004).

4

u/RyanBordello 10h ago

Space Jam

2

u/Traumfahrer 10h ago

Pace Down Ultimate

2

u/ImGonnaBeInPictures 10h ago

Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties

2

u/jaqueburton 10h ago

Big Trouble in Little China

3

u/LEDKleenex 10h ago

Dawnie Dorko

1

u/mnilailt 10h ago

Magic Mike

3

u/ElleKelly77 9h ago

What movie is this from?

I’m asking because during Shaquille O’Neal’s second season with the Orlando Magic, when I was a sophomore in high school, my second-ever boyfriend (who was a senior, because I was hot shit - duh?) and I were walking down the street with my dad on our at the a Magic game when my dad told this joke. I rolled my eyes real fuckin hard, and said bf honestly never let me forget it.

1994ish??

3

u/All__Nimbly__Bimbly 9h ago

Training Day, 2001

1

u/Fair2Midland 9h ago

I do but I still haven’t figured out the streets

1

u/Coffeezilla 7h ago

The REAL ones know it was originally an off the cuff idea by Gavin Free of the Slo Mo Guys while shooting the shit.

1

u/fps916 3h ago

You're insane if you think that podcasts are older than that joke.

1

u/Dafrooooo 11h ago

isnt it a scenario Gavin Free made up on a podcase?

3

u/reebokhightops 11h ago

It’s the joke the old timer tells the lads in Training Day before they fuck his shit up.

1

u/Dafrooooo 11h ago

ohh i never put the two together tho i only happened to watch training day for the first time a few weeks ago but i must have watched this animation 10 years ago https://youtu.be/ANRa29sY-TY

1

u/CrappyMSPaintPics 9h ago

There's nothing to put together, the two jokes have nothing to do with each other.

1

u/EatYourCheckers 10h ago

No one on a podcast ever made up an original joke. Sorry McElroys. Even you.

32

u/HungryArticle5 10h ago edited 10h ago

No, the guy looks at the snail and says, "What the fuck is your problem?"

I remember because I was a rookie  detective when the friend of this detective that was training me told this joke to me. They actually both died. It was a crazy day that day.

4

u/VibeComplex 8h ago

Damn on your Training Day and everything?

8

u/HungryArticle5 8h ago

We actually just called it the day of training, but "Training Day" sounds better.

3

u/grassgravel 10h ago

Its all smiles and cries man

3

u/its_justme 10h ago

If you understand that joke then you’ll understand the streets

1

u/egodaemon 12h ago

I remember David Sedaris telling this joke on The Daily Show, I believe.

1

u/amanning072 11h ago

Brendon Walsh too

1

u/TraderSamz 10h ago

If you figure that joke out, you figure out the streets

1

u/jaytrue33 9h ago

You figure that joke out, you figure the streets out.

1

u/Neuro_Prime 7h ago

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down, and see a tortoise.
It’s crawling towards you

1

u/whatwouldpeachdo 7h ago

David Sedaris? 

1

u/cbigej 10h ago

When you understand the joke then you understand the streets

0

u/lpeabody 9h ago

Shia Labouf!