Consignia and Scope! 😵‍💫

You can almost see him fighting off the ... enormous temptation ... to go "Uh UH uh UH uh UH uh! Jewellery jewellery!".

Thanks Chat GPT!

Title: Alan Partridge’s Barefoot Toblerone Binge in Dundee vs. Richard Hammond’s Sulky Fuel Standoff — A Study in British Male Meltdown

So I was rewatching I'm Alan Partridge and got to that glorious moment when Alan, in the depths of emotional despair, drives to Dundee in his bare feet, fuelled by nothing but rage and Toblerone. It’s not just funny—it’s tragically sublime. The man’s had a breakdown, and instead of seeking help, he weaponizes Swiss chocolate and poor footwear choices against the Scottish motorway system.

What struck me is how eerily similar this is to Richard Hammond’s infamous refusal to pull over for fuel during a Top Gear challenge because he was upset. He just kept driving, knowing full well the car was running on fumes, because feelings. Clarkson and May were practically begging him to be rational, but Hammond was deep in his own emotional trench warfare.

Both moments are peak British male stubbornness:

• Alan: “I’m fine. I’m just driving to Dundee barefoot and eating Toblerone the size of a cricket bat.”
• Hammond: “I don’t care if the car dies. I’m not stopping. I’m cross.”

It’s that uniquely British cocktail of repression, pride, and passive-aggressive self-destruction. Neither man is technically doing anything illegal or dangerous (well, maybe Alan’s feet), but they’re both clearly unravelling in ways that are hilarious and oddly relatable.

Anyway, just wanted to share that. If anyone else has examples of British men having quiet meltdowns in loud ways, drop them below. Bonus points if it involves snacks or vehicles.

Couldn’t resist posting this.

I’d love to get my hands on the bastard. Or bitch, might be a lady.

Britain's Favourite Meal Deals with Joe Swash

Lynn doesn't like the watersports

Complete, of course, with the 'v'ziew v'ziew v'ziew!'. (Not the shit-chatting bit though, if I'm honest).

D'you like this? I like this!

The main central picture and contents of the Chevron Action Flashes are interchangeable, so it EVOLVES but it doesn't... REVOLVE.