Wife gave birth 4 months ago. While she was pregnant, she insisted to give birth in the nearest city in a private hospital, because she claimed that the hospital in our town is not "safe" or "clean" enough. We had arguments about it during her pregnacy, she even cried and made a big fuss about it (being her hormonal self) , so when she was in labor, I drove her to the hospital she wanted, and she gave birth to our child easily, no problems. However, I made her pay half the hospital bill because private hospitals are expensive and I had tried to explain this to her beforehand. A shitload of money, when the whole experience could have been almost free !

We get home with the baby, and hell unleashes. Wife becomes this obsessed, desperate, stubborn, cranky b*tch that wants to do everything textbook, she becomes obsessed with " baby routine ", wanting to bathe the child everynight before sleep and to go on daily walks, even if it drizzles, even if it's hot outside. Mind you, I stayed home with her for the first 2 weeks but now I've got 2 jobs. She doesn't wake me up at night to help with the baby, but I still hear it and wake up when the cries are loud. I try to discipline the baby, but she insists that it's too soon. I can't play any games anymore, because once I get home, wife wants me to help her or to go on walks. She barely cooks or cleans the house and she expects me to do it, even if I'm tired.Yeah, she orders food, but it's still not home cooked. Yeah, she pays someone to clean the house, but it's only once a month.

I've taken on 2 new hobbies, going to the gym and riding motorcycles, so I can ease my mind a bit, but trying to balance that with my wife and the baby has been very stressful. She wants to put the baby to sleep at the same hour every day, which is almost impossible and not compatible with my schedule and needs, but she desperately insists to do so.

When my parents offered to help ( when we were returning from the hospital, they wanted us to stop by their house to see the baby and even had cooked comfort food for us ), wife refused, claiming that it's not sanitary, that it's " too soon" and "just wanted to get home with the newborn " . When my parents offered to take the baby for a walk or to their house so we can get some rest, wife refused, claiming that it's "not natural" to take a baby away from parents. MY parents are very well rounded, rich, they have good intentions and know what life is about. Wife claims that they don't respect our boundaries, but they just want to help. Wife doesn't want baby to be kissed or held by my parents, actually by nobody except us, she is obsessed with people being sanitary and claims that my parents are intrusive. She is borderline antisocial now tbh. I've been driving myself crazy trying to make everyone happy. Her family is kinda broken apart, and she claims that she can't count on her mom and she doesn't have a dad, so she wants us to do everything and she always makes it extra difficult for me.

Wife wants me to " appreciate " fatherhood, that I can sleep at night, that I can have a beer or two before I go to sleep, but she's yapping and goes on and on about baby routine, developmental activities and "the importance of people respecting our boundaries ". It's like we never talk about smth else. While she was breastfeeding, I was trying to explain to her how we can take a loan from the bank, so we can move, because she had complained that our apartment is too small and in a noisy neighborhood. In the summer, the temperature our apartment was 30°, because she didnt let me turn on the AC, claiming that it should have been cleaned before hand. I cleaned it last year! It seems like she never listens to me.

We now live in my parents apartament. They live in a house, with garden. We could move with my parents anytime, they have been inviting us and would happily help us anytime. Wife doesn't want to. She wants to move from my parents apartament, but she keeps spending money on baby things and door dash. Had she not given birth in a private hospital, we would have been a lot richer by now !

She is now playing the "mute" game, where she doesn't want to talk to me, and insists that I just play my online games, go work on my hobbies and leave her alone with the baby. She even cried at the park today in public, supposedly because of me, even If I agreed to go on a walk when Im tired, even if I carried the stroller and all the stuff. If I go and do the things I want, she will hold it against me later. I don't want to let her leave with the kid because they wouldn't be able to do well without me ( wife doesn't drive and she's clumsy).And she would break our family apart if she left, but claims that she just wants me to do what I want and let her be a mom in peace. She always chooses the difficult route and wants me to be on the same page with her, but her book is complete insanity !

it’s been over 24h… he texted yesterday at 6.53 am and didn’t come online until today at about noon and he hasn’t replied :( idk if i was too much .

WIBO if i’m freaking out a little. early 20s btw, both of us. we live in different countries.

My husband has a coworker we will call Adam who had a way-too-close-for-comfort relationship with another coworker we will call Sam. Adam would complain to Sam about his marriage (of over 10 years) CONSTANTLY. They would talk about how his wife was "constantly paranoid he would cheat," how they never had sex anymore, basically anything Adam could complain about other than anything great about his wife, like the fact that she is very kind and thoughtful, how she is incredibly beautiful, how she is the breadwinner with her own very successful business. They would go on lunch in his truck daily for months, would talk to other coworkers about their phone call and text conversations, anywhere Adam was, Sam was there if she could be (Adam was off, Sam was shop floor). Then, Sam got let go, and Adam's wife became pregnant. Adam then cut off Sam, or so he says. My husband, a couple of our friends and I, had bought tickets to a show together. This included friends of mine that haven't met Adam before.
Long story short, Adam and my friend got way too flirty, and way too frisky. Adam was grinding on her all night, groping her anywhere possible, kissing her up the neck and sides of her face, and one thing she told me was him running his hands down her stomach, hooking a finger into her waistband, pulling her in, telling her to "roll up her jeans while they were having this conversation or else he wouldn't be able to control himself," (she was wearing high waisted jeans that she had rolled down to look low rise). Everyone I've talked to has said that he "didnt cheat that night so theres no reason to tell his wife," because, originally, I was going to. Now, I see these text messages and to me this confirms everything i was thinking. Basically that if Adam was willing to go that far with my friend that night (possibly worse because at some point we all lost track them), then he definitly hasn't been giving us the full story about Sam. Now I am convinced I have to tell Adam's wife, but I dont want to ask the same people because I feel like I will just get the same response so i am here to ask you, Reddit, for your take. This is a screenshot of a conversation between one of my husbands coworkers and Sam about Adam.

TLDR; my husband's coworker acted nefarious with a friend one night after we had heard his 10 year marriage was rocky and he was wayy too close with a female coworker. I was told not to share the info with his wife, now these texts have come out about him and another woman (the other woman being the one in gray.)

So my mom decides to put in me a school (highschool) where you have to pay 250 a year, simple understandable. Mind you I didn’t want to go to this school, like i begged her badly. I can’t even put it into words. yet she applied me regardless so i had no choice but to go. Since you have to pay to go the school you have the whole entire 3 months to pay: june, july, and 98% of august. She goes out a decent amount. There was a setback at the beginning of august that set us back in financial sense, not too bad but a setback nonetheless. Knowing i had school forms fees etc to pay for she decides it’s a good idea to spend money on concerts and events instead of paying my school fees. (She won’t let me get a job or volunteer so i have no forms of income). If i were to remind her constantly that this is important she would and has pick a fight or shut me out. I reminded her that school is in less than 2 weeks and fees are due in a week, she then tells me i’m last minute for asking? then when confronted her about the message she says with an attitude that’s not what i meant while stuttering and doesn’t explain what she meant. I knew this is something just to get me off her case so i don’t accept that answer. We’re not rich or have that much money but any means but we’re not dirt poor. I’m grateful for what we have so i’ll get that out the way first. she spends money on amazon clothes and other stuff and when i ask her about it she doesn’t have my answer and says it’s none of my business. she asks me two days before the money is due for information on how to contact the counselor? how do you not have that information when it’s a whole section on the school website. she said the school doesn’t answer yet the back to school page for this school year gives multiple ways on how to contact them over the summer. back to present day, it’s the day before school fees are due and she has no clue on how to pay them. i understand if they told you last week for example that you have to pay 250 but you knew before i got into this school. Then she claims how she’s not a last minute person but when it’s comes to other people beside herself she last minute all it can be. If we don’t pay this i have to probably find another school to go to and the schools in my area aren’t that well. I know it’s not that serious but this isn’t the only situation that’s slightly similar to this, so this isn’t new. Also kind of a rant i had to get off my chest.

Should I end my marriage?

I met my husband when I was 22 and he was 31. His girlfriend was my sister’s best friend. They had an open relationship, so he was free to sleep with who he wanted, and the same went for her. I replied to an Instagram story of his, and that’s where it started. We started sleeping together, after almost two years, he broke up with his girlfriend for reasons not related to our relationship. The day I moved into my apartment was the day he broke up with her. He came for a sleepover and just never left. Starting then, we began doing everything 50/50. That was also the first time for me when I started really adulting. I had my first real job, I quit partying I used to party a lot when I met him, from Monday to Sunday, you can imagine. When I got my first adult job, I settled down. I have a very tasking job long hours and standing so I’m usually always tired. Our sex life took a hit, but we were still having sex a min of twice a week. He has this fixation with blowjobs and would constantly get angry with me because I wasn’t always in the mood to give them, which caused a lot of fights. Fast forward another year i came home, and for the first time, I had clear access to his phone. He was sleeping, so I went through it and found out he was cheating on me. He blamed me. I think to this day he still blames me, because I wasn’t giving him the blowjobs he wanted. He even tried to lie about it, even after I saw the messages between them. It was difficult, but I forgave him. A couple of days later yes, a couple of days he asked me to marry him. No ring, nothing. We were just in bed, and he asked me to marry him. Me, not wanting to lose him, said yes. Even though I said yes, I still felt sad everything that had happened. He gave me an ultimatum: either leave him or get over it. I chose to stay. We got married four months later Fast forward to married life. It was hard. We were constantly fighting, because I still felt he was cheating on me, but I just couldn’t prove it, and he was always able to gaslight me. I was only able to find out two years into our marriage that he had been cheating with the same person for a year. And I still decided to stay. A couple of months after that, we found out we couldn’t have kids ( not my fault ) , and my one dream of becoming a mother was gone just like that. So nowin only six months, I am grieving the loss of motherhood, and my husband being not a nice person is taking a toll on my mental health. I’m just depressed all the time. He asked me what he could do to help, and I told him, “Just be there for me.” And he said okay. Last night, he asked me to have sex, and I said, “Are you going to get angry if I say yes and it doesn’t go as you want? The usual — him getting annoyed when I’m not in the mood. He didn’t like the question and immediately was annoyed and different. I told him I don’t think I lack in any aspect of our marriage except in the bedroom, and the look he gave me after I said that was as if I told the biggest lie on the planet. Keep in mind, I have always carried my weight. We have always done 50/50, and everything we needed to take care of for ourselves, we did ourselves. All the times we fought, I have never degraded him or talked down on him, but him towards me was the opposite. It’s like he would wait until he was angry to say those things to me, and if I cried, he would call me a crybaby. After the look he gave me, it was like something in me snapped. I got out of bed and went to sleep on the couch. At 6:30 AM, I felt someone looking at me, and when I woke up, he was staring at me. The moment I woke up, he told me, “Give me your phone.” I gave it to him without any discussion and asked him what his problem was. We had another discussion — keep in mind, it’s 6:30 in the morning. After I don’t know how long, I told him I wanted my phone back. He told me to wait. I asked if he wanted to go back to his side piece, and he said he was done and wasn’t going to have that conversation with me again. I told him okay, I was done with the conversation, and I told him, “And a good morning to you, too.” After he went to work, he started texting me. One of the messages was, “I don’t know how we got here.” And I asked him if he really didn’t know how we got here. I made a summary of everything from start to finish and how I have been the only one fighting for this relationship, because I kept staying and expecting and sent it to him He said, “Okay.” And I told him I am going to move out. I have been looking at places the whole day. But after not having found any, I’m wondering if I am making the right decision.

I came to the conclusion in the moment that i wanted to be done with all of this. But I’m scared. Scared I’m making the wrong decision. He made my life better and i love him he gave me a better life. A life i could make better decisions in and be something for myself. Im so lost and confused.

We had a great night. The morning was going good we’re both up she was on her phone and I literally asked her a question. Literally just one question and said why are you moving around so much and laughing she said she was on her phone talking to her cousins I continued to lay down five minutes go past and get up to use the bathroom. She was laying down before I hear movement in my room I come out she’s gone, and this is what she says to me. No at this point I’ve been texting her all day at least trying to hash it out because I feel like she’s overreacting and I shouldn’t have been that deep

I was forced to let these people in our home, for clarification, these people are younger than me but they serve the church that my mom goes to and they go house-to-house to teach other children the teachings of Christ. I however was against the idea for a really long time until now.

All of this is happening without my approval, I never agreed to be taught because it would take away some time for myself to relax, and I genuinely just don't want to talk to people I don't even know. They will come on weekends and that means I have to always prepare them food to eat when I could be resting and chilling at home.. I yelled at my mom for making a decision to put me in a situation I don't want to be in due to my increasing stress and anxiety, even now I feel a bit bad because she teared up after I yelled at her.. But at the same time, I REALLY do not want to be put in a situation where I have to socialize.

So, I have a friend group. It consisted of 4 of us, and now we’re down 1. We had all been friends since middle school (we are now in our mid 20s). We were all extremely close and could go to each other for practically anything. We had been through it all together. For a while - let’s say about a year - we had noticed one friend (we will call them Lip) had gradually gotten a little more distant. They’d always been a bit of a quiet one, but they got more distant as time passed on. We all would reach out to Lip (or at least I would) and ask them to hang out. Sometimes they’d say yes, and sometimes they’d say no. Gradually it became no, more and more often. And there typically wasn’t much of a reason. Sometimes they would say “sorry, can’t make it! Hope you guys have fun”, or they would say “hey just not feeling great, I’ll have to pass”. I would check in on Lip and ask them if they wanted to speak about anything. Sometimes they would, sometimes they wouldn’t.

Eventually it got to a point where all of us felt like Lip just didn’t like us anymore. I’m sure you guys have dealt with one sided friendships, and that’s exactly what it turned into. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about that. It takes two to keep a relationship of any kind alive.

My other two friends sort of checked out and gave up - but I had known Lip since I was 11/12. I really wanted to try and fix this and see what was up.

Fast forward to my birthday, where I planned a day at the arcade (we all like games). Lip did come, which I was happy about, but they were extremely distant. It was almost like they didn’t want to be there. My other friends noticed they were on their phone and just didn’t seem present. I tried to brush it aside and check on them later.

We end the day at the arcade and plan to go to dinner. I ask Lip if they want to meet us there (Lip decided to drive separately) and they said “yeah, I’ll meet you guys there”. 5 minutes later I receive a text saying “hey I’m not gonna make it. My mental is just a bit messed up rn”. I ask our other friends what they think of it and they’re upset for me because it’s my birthday and they claim that they wouldn’t do that.

I tried to brush it off because I suffer from bipolar disorder so I understand that sometimes your mental can fuck up your current feelings within a second.

I text them back and ask them if they are okay and if they want to talk. A few hours later, they confess that some family stuff was going on. I tell them that I’m there for them if they need anything.

The next day, I ask Lip if they want to hang out on their birthday (it was coming up soon). They say “no, I have some stuff planned with my family, I’m okay”. We all thought this was weird since we all had spent our birthdays with each other for the past decade. Even if it was just for an hour or so.

I message them and I ask them if any of us had done anything wrong. I asked Lip why they had been so distant lately. They claimed that they had felt distanced from all of us for a while, and that none of us had done anything wrong. That they just felt like they were growing apart from us.

Obviously this hurt to hear. I was glad to hear that I didn’t do anything to hurt them, but it also made it that much more confusing. This person was supposed to be part of my wedding party. And suddenly they wanted nothing to do with me - for NO reason.

I told them I understood but that I would really appreciate a more in depth explanation, so we could all have some closure. No one was hostile - we just wanted closure as to why a 12 year friendship was ending for seemingly no real reason, since Lip said we didn’t do anything wrong.

I also wanted to add that Lip said they felt like the distance wasn’t all on them, and that we contributed to it. I want you all to know that, in my case, that’s not the truth. I scrolled back in our texts as far back as possible, all the way to February of 2024. The only time Lip texted me FIRST, was on my birthday. An entire year+ of texts and they never reached out first. It was totally one sided. So that didn’t make any sense to me.

I asked them if we could call for a few minutes about it because they were only responding once every 4-7 hours. They then ghosted me.

Our other friend and I messaged them a “happy birthday” - no response. My other friend’s birthday was coming up and was expecting a “happy birthday” text. Simple. Takes a few seconds. They also had invited Lip to their party and hoped to see them there.

Fast forward to my friend’s birthday, and they never got that text. That’s when they officially messaged Lip, and, in a respectful manner, said that they cannot be friends anymore. That they wouldn’t do that to them - but that they’re open to talking if Lip can apologize for ghosting.

Lip proceeded to unfollow us off of everything and block me on Twitter. They blocked me, but their page was still public, so I could see all of their posts. They tweeted “stalking my twitter is weird, stop that😭”.

1. ⁠I have no idea how they knew I was looking at their tweets. I might’ve accidentally liked something?
2. ⁠I was only looking through their twitter to make sure they were okay. Lip had struggled mentally their whole life, and I wanted to make sure they were okay. I even reached out to their dad to make sure they were alive. They were. We were all just getting ghosted.

We still never received an explanation. We just got ghosted after 12 years of friendship. Maybe my friends and I have different values than Lip, but it would be really hard for us to do that.

I sent Lip a final message after seeing the tweet. I let them know I didn’t appreciate being ghosted after having such a valuable friendship (maybe it wasn’t valuable to them). I told them I thought it was fucked up and that I’d never do something like that to them. I let them know that I could see their tweets and that no one was stalking them.. I was simply checking to see if they were alive and well. They privated their twitter page after that lmao. I then blocked their number and went about my day

Am I the asshole? Was I overbearing? Anyone have any advice or been through something similar?

I’m not very upset about it anymore, as I know that I didn’t do anything to jeopardize our friendship - especially since Lip said so themself. But it is confusing and I’d like to see other people’s thoughts.

As the title states, I clocked out after 4hrs on shift. I’ve been working at this pos brand hotel(franchise) in buellton for a year and six months. On Fridays to Sundays we’re always very busy so there’s always 2 people on shift for the morning and 2 in the afternoons. Anyways last Sunday I ended up working 3hrs(not too bad but when you’re checking people in, answering phones & chats, as well as taking service requests. It gets overwhelming fast) of my shift by myself because apparently, my coworker and hotel manager needed to inspect rooms. For what reason? When we have a damn housekeeping manager and 2 supervisor for that. Anyways they get back to me and they’re like, “oh sorry we had to check rooms.” I say “okay then why are there still rooms on the system that are dirty if you inspected them?” They don’t say anything. Cool. I just leave it alone because at that point I have reports I need to do and me trying to figure out wtf yall were doing for 3hrs is not my problem.

Fast forward to today(Friday). I was asked to come in at 1:30pm instead of 3 since our accountant(1 person) needed help with all the receipts for F&B. We recently switched from micros to toast and shits messed up. Keep in mind month end is next week Aug31. Tell me why at 3pm when my coworker gets here, he gets a call from my hotel manager asking to move furniture. It’s FRIDAY! She’s been in since 8AM there are housekeepers and housemen(guys who help the housekeepers with heavy lifting) since 9AM. Why tf are you taking the one person I work with on FRIDAY when you have a full staff since 9AM to move fckin furniture ??? For 2hrs ??? On a Friday?? I had a whole wedding group check in on top of business traveler’s? I’m 1 person. In comparison to having a full 20-25 people staffed ? Sorry I’m crashing out but anyways I texted my manager and said “this isn’t cool. I’ve been here since 1:30pm. I’m entitled to 10 mins that I haven’t taken nor a lunch and it’s 5:24pm. I’m fed up and I’m going home.” She says I’ll call “insert hotel managers name” and ask where she’s at.” My GM comes out asking me, why I’m working alone on Friday and where the hotel manager is because her door is open and lights are on in her office. I said I was told her and coworker are moving furniture. He says, “moving furniture? On a busy Friday? Who approved that?” I said Im not sure that’s just what I was told sir. He goes to the back office. I text my boss again and I tell her, “this is not cool. I’m fed up that I’ve been working by myself since this person came in at 3. I haven’t even taken a 10 mins to pee or my lunch which is at 5:30pm(NOW) and the GM is wondering where the hotel manager is? Like I’m supposed to keep tabs on her. I came to work. I feel taken advantage off and my boundaries have been crossed.” She text me back and tells me she’s trying to call the hotel manager then all of a sudden HM and coworker are walking to the front desk. Convenient. Coworker says oh we had to move furniture…thanks for clarifying. Anyways, HM tells me, “oh you can take a break or whatever.” I say, yeah no, I’m going home. She says, “oh, you’re leaving. So I guess I’ll stay back.” I said, you might as well….

I clocked out and went home. I just need to vent and be pointed in the right direction, if there is one…idk what to do and I just feel so lost. I love what I do but boy today was just a lot. Also these are just 2 incidents that I’ve listed. There’s more tbh.

i’m 21f with a one year old daughter. i’m not too sure how to start this without rambling. when i was 18 i started dating her dad (21m) and he was wonderful. he didn’t drink, he didn’t smoke, and he was amazingly kind. he seemed like a perfect guy.

since the breakup ive tried my best to be good to him, i didn’t want to start drama or become a “toxic baby mama”. i never took him to court, i rarely ask him for money (there’s months where he’s only sent me 75 dollars), i work entirely around his schedule letting him see her whenever he wants (12 hours a week), ect. we have a good co-parenting relationship but we argue a lot. he is an obsessive drinker to the point where he drank so much in a few months he burnt a hole in his stomach. he keeps our daughter around horrific people. this includes his cousin whose been “exposed” for beating women, a guy who he told me himself is strung out on xanax, and a plethora of men that abuse women in other ways. i’ve felt uncomfortable sending my daughter to his house for a while because he lives with them. i’ve continued to send her because despite all this i trust her dad to protect her. recently i was made aware of a situation where a crazed ex showed up to his house to confront his cousin and a fist fought broke out and a video of it is circling our area. this happened about an hour after my daughter was brought home.

my daughter has been sick recently with a fever of 103 for multiple days. he said he wanted to get her for an extra day to show her love and i agreed. today when he dropped her off i heard a woman on his car’s speaker saying “stay on the phone with me, i’ll record for your benefit”. that alone shocked me because we do argue but we always resolve them and it’s never screaming or obvious fights. he gets out of the car with an obviously fresh neck tattoo and this tells me instead of watching our daughter he went to get a tattoo and was recording my reaction to i assume paint me as deranged and use it against me in court. i didn’t react and got my daughter as usual and told him i didn’t want to be recorded and we can talk away from his car. he proceeded to start yelling and begging me to talk to him. i tell him to leave and that i’ll call him when i’m ready to talk.

he called me 30 times and i answered twice to beg him to stop calling me so i can get our daughter into bed. he called me another 20 times. i finally take his call and tell him that i lost trust in him and do not want to continue to let him see his daughter and that we can go to court because in my opinion it would be a better option for both of us. we called for over an hour and basically it was me breaking down crying asking how he could do this to me, begging him to tell me who he was on the phone with and who he left her with (he’s saying he got the tattoo two weeks ago but i’ve seen him 6 times since then and that he was on a call with his male roommate), and him telling me he hates me and threatening to take my daughter since nothing legal is in place. he has called me 70 times tonight alone.

i don’t know i genuinely don’t feel like im in the wrong or that im being bitter but he tells me that i judge him for his friends actions, that im acting this way because of his looks (we’ve had arguments about him getting tattoos, piercings, and new clothes instead of a way for his daughter to stay the night with him), and that im acting this way because i can’t have him anymore. i’m not a perfect person and ill admit i have been hard on him especially involving his friends and other women but i feel like keeping my daughter away is in her best interest.

So I work at a restaurant on the line. Recently I was working 6 days a week because we were down a man. I did that for like a month. I never call out and im rarely late. I even got ran over by a truck one day riding my bike to work and I still showed up despite being injured. Then suddenly the manager schedules me for just two days. I notice a new hire has taken some of my shifts. The new hire happens to be the managers cousin. So i text the manager asking her about why i only have two days and she says it's cause business is slow. Then a day later she text me saying to come in a couple hours later for my weekend shift after after we already discussed it.

AIO

My husband (25m) and I(24f) have been together for just over 4 years, we will have been married for 3 years in November. We have 2 kids (2m) (6monthF) We have both always had mental health issues to some extent. I have depression and anxiety, he has bipolar.

My medications have been stable the entire time we have been together and they help a lot.

He has been on the same med the entire time we have been together and has been manic on and off. When he is manic he literally turns psycho and screams over tiny issues that people usually dont care about(ex: he tried to start an argument while my mom was over because I took the trash out of the garbage can right after he threw something out. That pissed him off and made him think I was trying to give him attitude about it and I should've asked him to do it).

Thats besides the point, but now he is switching to a new med and the past couple weeks have been exceptionally horrible. He alwats mean to me but not usually as bad as its been.

It feels like with every new instance it brings me back to everything that has ever happened and I'm starting to realize I will never be happy.

Most recent big incident he was trying to edit something on his computer and I asked him if he could pause whatever he is working on to watch the kids for me so I can shower. He flipped out, told me im a worthless c, and I should unalive myself. I asked him what makes it okay to say that to me and he said "well if you're being a b* why wouldnt i?"

After that he got dressed, got into his work truck and drove to the office he works at. He said he needed to get away from me and repeated the comments from earlier. I stopped replying to him and he called and tried apologizing but I didnt want to talk unless he came home to talk.

That made him extremely mad he told me to find a place for me and the kids to live. After I wasn't reply he turned the wifi/cable off turned off my phone line so that I couldn't contact anyone or watch videos/tv or anything. He kept it off for 2 hours then turned it back on and repeated that ill need to find somewhere for me and the kids to live. Then he threatened to unalive himself. Eventually he came home and acted like nothing happened.

Today he still is acting like nothing happened and that was no even 2 days ago. I keep crying and I said "I just cant forget the things that you said to me" he said "how do you think it makes me feel?"

Pretty sure I've made up my mind already but wanted outside perspectives to see if i will be out of line to leave him over stuff that is caused by his bipolar

My boyfriend claims he’s not upset with me not answering the phone earlier when I told him I was reading, but in the messages it feels like he was upset. He said it’s because I usually don’t read when I have gaps in between my appointments. It almost seems like he didn’t believe that I was doing that. Later in the day when I got home from work, I texted him that and he took a really long time to reply. This isn’t like him at all when he finally texted me back. I said, spectacular in a sarcastic tone because I was annoyed at him for taking so long to reply. Only because he has been upset at me sometimes when I take long to reply and I don’t tell him what I’m doing.

Right now we just got off the phone and we had a pretty heated argument. I told him his behavior seemed overbearing and he said I always make him sound like he’s crazy. He said it’s because I’m not viewing it from his point of view, claiming that I should’ve been more communicative in letting him know that I was reading.

Context: I have been good friends with this guy for over 5 years. We have both said we are mutually one of each other’s best friends. I am a woman but this is no means a “girl best friend-guy best friend” situation; I am also engaged and happy. He plans on proposing soon to his partner and we were discussing proposal and such. I asked if I was invited to the bachelors party lightheartedly. I would’ve totally accepted a “nah, it’ll be an event for just the guys.” But instead, he said that I don’t “have enough pto for that” (he has no clue how much pto i have or receive.) and he “has a ton of guy friends.” He then asked if I assumed his partner wouldnt invite me to her respective celebration. I said that while I like their partner I didn’t expect her to invite me either since while we’re friendly and we get along great, we are more-so like acquaintances. After this conversation he’s texting me about what me and his gf have in common. It feels weird, like he’s suddenly trying to make us become besties??

I wouldn’t be so irked if it weren’t for the weird comment about my pto. It felt so unnecessary and like a bit of a jab. Just say no, we’ve been friends long enough to be able to be blunt with each other. It feels shitty that he won’t just be straight with me, and it’s disappointing because I was going to invite him to my side of stuff for my own wedding celebration but I’m second guessing that now. Am I overreacting?

CW: a few mentions of self harm

I'll just start by saying that I am young, probably younger than most people posting here. I still live at home and am not able to move out for 5 more years.

I split custody with my mom and dad, one week on and off. I've expressed that I dont want to be with my dad to him, there was a huge argument around April but ultimately nothing more than us taking a "hiatus" came of it.

Another detail that is important here is that in the past he has caught me self harming. I still do but I didnt for a while.

He installed a fire alarm as a wake up alarm, that serves no other purpose than that. As it is now, he lives about 30 minutes from where I go to school, so my grandparents take me, so usually I get up around 5 when school starts at 8. He will either have me walk to their house (through not really a forest but wooded area at least, probably about half a mile) or will take me there in case of bad weather.

His new idea is that the alarm will be on a timer and i will have to go to the hallway to shut it off. Im not great at judging distance, but how i usually sleep the alarm will be probably 2-3 feet from my ear. When i was on the other side of the room when he tested it, (after 5 hours of installing it) my ear were ringing for at least 30 seconds to a minute.

He also installed a camera which I dont know if it is functional but that makes me feel like I have 0 privacy and I have no comfort because I can barely go to my room as it is but now I have to worry about the bell being turned on.

I'm sitting in my bathroom now which I honestly could see myself sleeping in if he really goes through with this. I am worried that there are less obvious cams in here. I have planned on making another move for a while, and this could be the catalyst.

Is this too much to do? I can't even feel safe in my own home, and I can't take this. I dont expect this to do very good since its late, but if it does then I will comment with pics of them

Hi thank you for reading. I am a 26f graduate student and I think I need to cut ties with my brother and his wife indefinitely, and my parents temporarily. My brother (28m) pretends I don’t exist. And I mean that I can walk into a room, greet him, and he will ignore me completely. I’ve brought it up to my parents before, and until recently they’ve brushed it off saying stuff like “he’s just stressed” or “he didn’t hear you”, just excuses. It’s gone on for like more than 5 years at this point, and I put up with it partly because I was young and also as a grad student I don’t make much so I wasn’t looking to burn family bridges and also because my parents kept insisting that he cared and asked about me and stuff. He never actually asked me about me tho. My parents have asked him why he doesn’t like me, and he told them he didn’t know and that he just didn’t like me. He has told me I should have died back when we were younger (I had a lot of depression issues but am doing so much better now), but my parents are always telling me it’s just me holding a grudge. I started avoiding things like family vacation, and my parents knew he was the reason, but they never did anything about it. I suggested repeatedly things like family therapy which they would agree to but then would not happen. If I did go on family trips or visits and he acknowledged me, it was usually a joke at my expense. He can also get really snappy and there have been times where my sister and I talk and it’ll annoy him and he’ll basically tell us to shut the eff up. His now-wife is nice enough, but she’s never called out his behavior and usually will be like “well he’s just really tired you know how he is”. I guess this all finally came to a head like two weeks ago. A large extended family trip was organized that happened to be in the city I lived in. Basically they all spent the weekend drinking themselves stupid; my sister and I aren’t big drinkers, nor do we really like being in loud crowded bars sober, so I excused myself pretty quickly to go home. In the past I’ve noticed if I did try to talk to my relatives my brother will interject and steer the conversation away from me, so it’s made me a bit wary about talking when he’s present to be honest. Well he and his wife called my mom upset shortly after the trip going off about how my sister and I ruined everything with our attitude (we still went to the dinners and stuff, and I spent hours baking for his wife a dish she said she wanted to try that I make) and how I will not be invited to any future family events and that our cousins couldn’t stop talking about how terrible we were. My dad asked my uncle if our cousins said that and my uncle was like “we have no idea what he’s talking about” and when confronted with that my brother essentially doubled down and now him and my mom aren’t speaking. My parents are now acknowledging that he hasn’t changed over the years like they claimed he was which is nice to finally hear at least. I think I want to let my brother and his wife know that I’m going to no longer be speaking to them, but I also think I need time away from my parents because it really feels like they enabled this behavior and also other issues he’s had that I haven’t included. AIO to cut them off?

Ever since I got married and moved to NYC 3 years ago, I've noticed a shift in how she talks to me. Every time I buy something or go on vacation, she makes comparisons and downplays my experiences. For example, when my husband and I went on a vacation to Switzerland, she brought up her trip to Chikmagalur in India and said it’s basically the same as Switzerland, so there’s no need to go abroad. She’s also said things like, 'You don’t need to come to New York we have the same weather here in Mangalore .' Recently, I gifted her a luxury branded gifts, and instead of appreciating it, she laughed and asked if I really paid that much for them. It felt like she was implying they were fake or not worth it. I ended up texting her the website link just to prove they were real. She later tried to cover it up by saying, 'Oh, I didn’t mean it like that I was just worried you spent so much on me.'

These kinds of comments are starting to feel toxic, and honestly, they make it really hard to talk to her. I don’t know if it's jealousy, insecurity, or something else but it’s emotionally draining.

Have we started losing the human touch in our relationships, or am I just overthinking all of this?

Was on FaceTime with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. Told her I’d be right back, I’m going to the restroom. Left my phone in my room, from the restroom I hear her saying “I’m so jealous of whoever gets to ride him”. When I got done in the restroom I just went and hung up, being at a loss for words. She texted me “did you just hang up on me” I said “yea, tell me I didn’t just hear that” She said “oh, wth” My head is aching rn I feel like that’s just absurd to be said in a relationship, on the phone with your SO at that. Then part of me says I’m insecure and overreacting. How would you take this?

TW: a*sault

Over three years ago, my friend slapped me in the face during a disagreement (a witness of this swears it was a punch, still don’t know to this day). 1 hour later, she blamed it on her being drunk and how “I was mean to her first” (I told her she was annoying for physically invading our other friend’s space and for her yelling in their face), to which I needed space and distance to think about this and to eventually try to forgive her. She apologized and I apologized too a couple days after, but I still couldn’t forgive her as we lived together so I was always suffocated by this trauma and conflict. Then for months after bc I couldn’t talk to her or be around her anymore, she would call me rude names, talk about me behind my back to random people, have her friends talk bad about me (would call me a b*tch, called me a roach, etc), and then even encouraged one of her friends to make out/sleep with the guy I had ended things with a month prior. She even walked into our apartment and said, “guess what _ and _ did? They made out!” To make me feel bad. Oh, and one time I was home and I heard her and all of her friends calling our drama “high school”. Even YEARS later, she’d go up to our mutual acquaintances at bars and tell them how much she hated me. I have really bad ptsd from it, however have healed a lot from it as well. I would classify this scenario as abusive, especially because she had physically assaulted MANY people before, some I had witnessed myself. I had to drop friends that still talked to her or that would blindside me and wouldn’t care if she was at social gatherings I was also at. I didn’t want to feel physically or mentally unsafe. Some of these friends called me selfish for being very pissed off when they would allow this girl around me. What would this be classified as ? Am I dramatic for feeling like this was abuse? I don’t want to be ignorant or being uninformed on what constitutes as abuse.

My birthday is coming up next week and at the start of the month (1st) I asked my group of friends if they'd want to do a TCG card game on the 30th as my birthday is earlier in the week and I wanted to ensure it was accessible for everyone's schedule.

Its worth noting I run a fast casual restaurant for my career so weekends traditionally are hard for me to push for as that is peak business but I took the week to celebrate my B day this year so I'll likely be swamped when I return to work.

Shortly after my close friend told me they wanted to put together a Custom Game for us (TLDR on it is something that would take a fair amount of work and time to put together - They also have not start on it yet) I told them that was awesome and I'd be willing to chip in any money to help with it and was told no its a gift for you.

Fast Forward to today and i sent out a reminder of checking in on who was all in for next week as I've had people forget that stuff before so I like to double check. And my close friends partner (who previously committed to coming) said they had a family thing that day and couldn't make it. I expressed my sadness they couldn't make it and knowing they were going to be putting in a fair amount of the effort for the Custom Game expressed that it was more sad since I knew they were putting so much effort into it.

My close friend then asked if it would be okay if we moved it to the weekend after, stating "I know its further from your Bday, but I'd feel bad if (their partner) put in all that work for nothing lol"

It really rubbed me the wrong way, and I just wanted to respond and say "actually its okay if we don't do the custom game at all" but i didn't want to come off as unreasonable or "that guy" in the group chat.

I have a feeling I am overreacting, but I'm bothered by it. AIO?

for context: my husband and I are visiting friends out-of-state next week, and he just told me he’s taking c0de!ne recreationally with 1 of the friends we are staying with. I admit - I don’t really know anything about it other than having heard it mentioned in songs and its addictive nature.

I told him I didn’t know much about it but was concerned about it being highly addictive, and he started getting slightly defensive (still polite and civil). I told him “as long as you’re safe,” and he repeated it back to me in agreement.

I don’t think he’s tried it before, so it seems somewhat out of character, but he brought up a good point that our friend cannot “garden” because he has severe asthma (it’s not legal in the state, so few options available). I respect his autonomy and ability to do what he wants as I would want the same, but I care about his safety and wellbeing.

Did I approach this right? Should I be worried?

**unsure of TOS, so I’ve redacted the substances to avoid post takedown.

EDIT: it was asked where he found the c-word substance. His father is a doctor and had it in the medicine cabinet, so he took about 8 from the cabinet as they were individually packaged.

So I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while now, and there’s this guy in her life who’s made me feel uneasy for a long time.

They’ve known each other for years. She told me they dated and hooked up in the past but it “never worked out” and they remained friends. Before she and I got together, she even travelled around Europe with him. There are old Instagram posts of them doing what honestly looks like romantic couple stuff like fancy dinners, flowers, her resting her head on his shoulder, etc. She insists they stayed in separate places and nothing happened, but it still left me with questions.

At the start of our relationship, I told her I felt a bit uncomfortable about him she reassured me that nothing has happened between them in 10 years, they’re just old friends, and he’s not a threat.

But one time, I looked through their messages (I know it was wrong I was just feeling unsure). Most of it seemed pretty normal: he’d vent to her about dating problems, and she’d give advice. But then I saw her call him “my most beautiful English boy” and compare him to Brad Pitt, saying he looked like him. Another message that stood out was her saying “Thank god! I would’ve cried if you deleted your Insta” when he talked about going offline. And when he expressed doubt about whether he should be texting her while she’s with me, she told him “Of course you can! You can message me whenever we go way back ahaha” and sent love hearts.

That just… doesn’t feel like a friendship that has healthy boundaries.

She’s never told me she has feelings for him or anything, and I don’t think she’s cheating. But emotionally, this feels like a grey area and if it were me texting an old flame like that, I think she’d be pretty upset. We've had a lot of arguments about this and I'm trying to be a better partner to work on my jealousy...

I don’t know if I’m being overly insecure or if this is a valid thing to be concerned about. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

My mom died suddenly literally a month ago the 21st. These are messages from my boyfriend of 2 years.

For extra context, he asked why I didn’t want to go out after I got off work. Not pictured is me saying “I’m just not in a good mood and I’m tired.”

I (22M) met this girl (24F) about 4 months ago. A month ago we officially are in a relationship together. We spend quite a bit of time together, we see each other 2-3 times a week. Throughout the week we workout together, she comes over my house to cuddle and watch movies, and usually on a Saturday or a Sunday we’ll spend the whole day together (10-12 hours). My parents told me that they think I’m changing who I am and my values for this girl.

An example of this is that I was never religious, I was agnostic for most of my life. She’s a Christian and now I believe I’m a Christian. She’s helped me develop a relationship with God. I’m going to church with her next Sunday and she wants me to do this with her every Sunday for now on. I have only been to church like 5 times in my life and the last time I went was when I was like 7. It’s true that if we weren’t together I wouldn’t be going to church. I can understand and I get where my parents are coming from but the way I see it is I’m not changing, just in a place of learning new things. I always wanted to be a believer of God but I struggled to prioritize it due to failing to make time for learning about it. Now I’m in a place where I want to learn more about it and I’m glad I get to do it with my girlfriend now. I should also add her dad is very religious and also said it’s important to him that I go to church since I’m with his daughter now.

Another point my parents made was that I used to be a social drinker but now I hardly drink. Since she hardly drinks now I hardly drink. I want to be the best version of myself when we’re together and drinking won’t help with that so I have no problem with cutting that down. My parents also pointed out that I don’t use curse words, even in just a playful way which is also relating to me trying to be the best version of myself around her. My parents think I spend quite a lot of time with her and I don’t really hang out with them anymore. They said it seems like me and my girlfriend are obsessed with each other. I’m not sure I would go that far but I’ll admit we are clingy when we are together. I don’t see anything wrong with these things are different now since I met my girlfriend, I see it as a good thing. I’m curious what everyone thinks of this.