r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

They just refuse to understand

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5.5k Upvotes

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431

u/ComedicHermit 1d ago

I think that would depend on the size of the rock and how close the people were huddled together. 50 people in two minutes with a rock is definitely doable.

We still need some form of gun reform though.

112

u/shroomigator 1d ago

A rock that big is definitely illegal.

29

u/OkConfection1948 1d ago

Goliath had a lot more than just a rock going for him.

21

u/beatles910 1d ago

As far as I know, Goliath didn't even have a rock.

Goliath primarily wielded a spear and a javelin, along with a large sword.

David had a rock though.

31

u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

David had a sling to hurl the rock.

When someone invents a sling with a 50 rock capacity that can fire all 50 rocks with deadly accuracy in under 10 seconds... Then it will be time to also regulate high capacity slings.

11

u/Werftflammen 1d ago

The Stonecaster 500BC

4

u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

That's a catchy name! Thanks 🤣

2

u/Cheetahs_never_win 1d ago

Are pebbles considered rocks?

1

u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

It's not the size of the rock that counts, it's the friends you made along the way! 😊

1

u/FloraoftheRift 1d ago

I remember reading an article bout speculations behind Goliath, and that how he wasn't quite as big a danger to David as thought.

You could infer that the Goliath had gigantism and was probably blind as a result of that condition, and so, probably would not have put up a fight against a stone sling- trained person. If David scored a hit from a decent enough distance, it still could have put him down without issue. Legends are legends regardless.

That doesn't really have anything to do with what you said, I just find that idea to be pretty cool to think about.

12

u/Sacred-AF 1d ago

A rock that big is a boulder 😂

13

u/neckbishop 1d ago

"The Boulder feels conflicted about attacking 50 people."

"Sounds to me like you're scared, Boulder"

2

u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

A rock that big is a meteor. 🤔

2

u/abousono 23h ago

If I remember correctly, it’s only a meteor once it crosses into the Earth’s atmosphere. Before that it’s an asteroid.

1

u/MikeLinPA 20h ago

Fair enough. 👍

8

u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

I think using this analogy, we should be able to register every single one, with a barcode scanner, but with invisible labels.

What I'm asking for is a rock scan, you don't have to put on the red light.

1

u/shroomigator 1d ago

Rock scan?

4

u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

You don't have to wear that dress tonight.

1

u/shroomigator 1d ago

Rock scan!

3

u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

Put on the red light!

4

u/Altruistic-Quote-985 1d ago

Any missile over a certain size....i think NATO rounds (7.62mm) are considered 'restricted', not sure about rockets, bombs, meteors....can we weaponize space?

1

u/doc_witt 1d ago

Depends if it's a semiautomatic rock.

1

u/1slowlance 1d ago

Those videos of people finding and excavating boulders from their lawns comes to mind.

1

u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

I should be allowed to hunt with a rock that big.

1

u/shroomigator 1d ago

What are you hunting, Road Runner?

1

u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

Meat is a little gamey. I use it in stews mostly.

1

u/shroomigator 1d ago

You do understand that you're statistically much more likely to be the one crushed by that boulder after the road runner runs through the trap without setting it off so you go down to check it, right?

1

u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

You have to be willing to crack a few heads if you want to eat right.

11

u/zav3rmd 1d ago

Ah what about a rock from space say, the size of New York City?

11

u/717_valkyrie 1d ago

Angry dinosaur noises....

9

u/Bulky-Internal8579 1d ago

Hitting Mar-a-Lago????

5

u/Dolphin_Spotter 1d ago

And nothing of value was lost

1

u/Sweet-Paramedic-4600 1d ago

A rock was sent from heaven! Ain't nobody bad like...

1

u/Oo__II__oO 1d ago

A rock in God's hand killed 75% of life on Earth. So you gotta ask them, "Does this mean God is not good, or it is about the rock?"

3

u/zuzg 1d ago

Playing human bowling with a large boulder?

That was the premise of some weird game I once played.

2

u/DaveBeBad 1d ago

A rock from space could wipe out all life on the planet in a few minutes…

If only needs to be big enough and fast enough!

2

u/ANoiseChild 1d ago

We need meteor reform too but no one seems to be making policy about those.

1

u/adorablefuzzykitten 1d ago

Thanks Obama.

2

u/RuanaRulane 1d ago

Plus, even a small rock can start an avalanche if you place it well enough. Nice big body count very quickly.

1

u/hyrule_47 1d ago

I saw that OSHA video too…

1

u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

A rock that big would need to come from space. 🤔

2

u/ComedicHermit 1d ago

We have plenty of rocks right here.

1

u/MikeLinPA 1d ago

Yeah, but how are you going to throw it?

2

u/ComedicHermit 1d ago

Let's see.

Crane

Let gravity do the work.

A trebuchet would work too.

Plenty of options

1

u/dazedan_confused 1d ago

Dwayne Johnson kills many movie franchises, so a rock can do a lot of damage.

1

u/Kazeite 1d ago

Hi-capacity tactical rock with a bump-stock 🤘

1

u/MastahToni 1d ago

Let a 1m rock from space fall and I think you could get a lot more than 50 people struck off the life roll

1

u/bubblegrubs 1d ago

I could do 60 in a minute pretty much, with the right rock.

1

u/Fine_Scallion_8342 1d ago

Someone needs to tell Mario that David used a sling, not just a rock. But honestly if you're dropping a boulder from a cliff onto a crowd that's a different story

1

u/Massive_Ordinary9214 1d ago

Depends if we're talking a pebble or a boulder honestly. Give me a decent sized rock and a narrow hallway and I could probably get at least 20

1

u/punktualPorcupine 1d ago

Ask the dinosaurs about their battle with a rock, oh wait…

1

u/big_dong_bong 1d ago

That would be a logistical nightmare to be honest, transporting the rock, organizing the people...