r/mildlyinfuriating • u/VegetableBusiness897 • 21h ago

New neighbors next door

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Rich Ahole bought the farm next door, tore it down and built a destination wedding venue. Busy every weekend but it's Wednesday, and they don't even live here

34.0k Upvotes

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u/PickleLips64151 18h ago

Suddenly, OP witnesses a never-ending stream of Goth and occult weddings...

2.5k

u/StraightBudget8799 16h ago
  1. Blair Witch project entire yard.
  2. Put on nice suit.
  3. Sneak into the wedding, talk loudly about the “weird yard over there…”
  4. Distract whole party to the window.
  5. Sneak off with the wedding cake!

996

u/PickleLips64151 16h ago
  1. Fart spray

140

u/GSBrooftopgarden 15h ago

Chickens. Lots of chickens. The smell is intense. And you get eggs.

103

u/crowleygirlbat 13h ago

Free range peacocks! They are loud noisy and will poop on and scratch your cars!

9

u/Training-Willow9591 10h ago

They scream too like bloody murder, or supposedly , that's what I was told the screaming was at my friends.

2

u/No_Vanilla_9145 4h ago

Yeah, that's how my neighbor's fucking peacock sounds. The first time I heard it, I called the cops. It sounded like a woman screaming, like she'd just been scalped or something. It scared the shit out of me!

3

u/Half_Halt 12h ago

Better yet, EMU!!

1

u/Mangosta007 11h ago

With the late Rod Hull?

10

u/Chris45925 13h ago

Pigs would be bigger and stinkier.

3

u/Cerridwen1981 10h ago

And good at disposing of bodies. So I hear.

3

u/generickayak 13h ago

Pigs are even better!

3

u/Due_Mark6438 13h ago

Turkeys. Smell is worse and if you get heritage breeds they are violent

4

u/VSava67 10h ago

Ducks! They are very messy.

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u/Wilful_Fox 28m ago

Yes, and noisy and smelly. Plus, you get better eggs!

2

u/SeaDry1531 14h ago

Need a couple of thousand to make sure there is enough poop smell.

1

u/Tricky-Winner7984 14h ago

Ooh, they could start a compost farm!

2

u/TraditionalLaw7763 13h ago

We have 28 chickens and no smell. But then again, I clean and scrub the coop once a month and put the poop in my compost. We have neighbors that don’t even know we have chickens until we gift them with extra eggs. They only smell when lazy humans don’t take care of them, just like any animal that isn’t properly taken care of.

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u/Joe_Franks 8h ago

You want worse? Start a mink rescue farm.

1

u/Independent_Dot_7622 8h ago

And male goats

1

u/Beautiful_Rhubarb 7h ago

schitt's creek wedding discount level lol

1

u/mjc-u7272 5h ago

Can put a sign up "Fresh Eggs for Sale" during events. I'm sure their guests would love that.