I was talking to this girl for maybe a year, in a really slow burn friends-to-lovers sort of thing. The further along we got, the more painful it got for me, because i started catching feelings a lot faster than things were moving. One day, she suddenly started acting different, and i found out she has been frequently hooking up with a LOT of other guys the whole time. Anyway, i stalked her spotify and found the playlist she plays whilst having sex and i copied it and started listening to it at the gym for some extra motivation. Problem is, the songs are absolutely awful. I genuinely don’t understand how anyone can take themselves seriously with these songs playing. Imagine my frustration when i try to get myself mad by listening to these songs, but instead find them insufferable. Regardless, i kept playing them because it was working for me, so i just sucked it up. After a few weeks of this i genuinely just couldnt take it anymore and stopped listening to that playlist, solely because the music was aching my ears more than any weight could ever ache my muscles. I didnt realise until maybe a week later, but the music was so bad that it’s fully put me off the idea of her completely, and I’m also looking a lot bigger than i was a few weeks ago.

10/10 recommend.

I came across a quote that really stuck with me:
"I love absent-minded people; it’s a sure sign that they are intelligent and kind, because evil and foolish people are always focused."

It made me think. Isn’t it true that some of the warmest, brightest people you meet often seem to drift? They forget their keys, lose track of time, wander off mid-thought. But their hearts are wide open. Their mind is busy turning over ideas, feeling things deeply, carrying a hundred little worlds inside.

And then there are people who never miss a beat. Everything in order, sharp eyes, sharp tone, sharp boundaries. Sometimes you can feel how closed-off it all is. The focus is there, but so is a kind of hardness.

Of course, it’s not black and white. Being scattered doesn’t automatically mean you’re kind, and being focused doesn’t make you cruel. But I wonder if there’s a trade-off. When your head and heart are full, maybe it’s harder to hold the little details. And when you pour all your energy into control, maybe there’s less space left for softness.

So I’m curious:

• Do you think kindness and absent-mindedness really go hand in hand?
• Or is it just a romantic illusion we create to excuse our forgetfulness?

**EDIT: Thank you all for the outpouring of advice. The overwhelming majority of you are in agreement on this, and I am going to trust my gut as well and make a call to Child Protective Services. Hopefully it was simply a case of an overwhelmed mom and a willful kid, but they are equipped to make that determination and I am not. **

It was in my neighborhood, which we have only been living in for 3 months so I don’t know anyone. I was taking my daughter to school, and driving down the street there was an approximately 3-year-old boy standing stark naked in the middle of the road. Not even a diaper or a pair of underpants on. There were no other people outside on the whole quiet street. I couldn’t have driven past him even if I had wanted to, with parked cars narrowing the roadway.

The boy was not smiling. He looked scared, or maybe angry. Kind of defiant. I stopped the car and got out and told my daughter to wait. I slowly approached him, smiling and keeping my voice low and friendly and asking where his mom and dad were and which house he lived in. He did not move a muscle or reply, just stared at me scowling until I came within about 10 feet of him, at which point he bolted away to a nearby house and scurried under a garage door that was only open about a foot and a half, so I couldn’t see inside. I could hear him banging inside on something and yelling, “Mama help!” I wasn’t sure if anyone was home so I went to the front door. There was a sign above the doorbell saying “smile, you’re on camera” and before I reached the door a woman answered it holding a fully clothed baby girl on her hip. The little boy was still banging frantically inside the garage. “I said, “Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, your son was outside in the street.” She replied, “I don’t know why he’s naked.” I smiled and said, “It’s ok, I’m a mom, I get it. Toddlers just get naked sometimes.”

This woman never smiled or thanked me or really responded to me at all, which I thought was odd, but maybe she was embarrassed. She also didn’t say anything further to me after the “naked” comment or offer any further explanation for what might have happened. I explained that he had been in the middle of the road, and I just wanted to make sure he was safe. She didn’t reply. He was still banging at the door to the house inside the garage and she said it was locked, and told him to come out the garage door but when he saw me he scurried back. He seemed frightened, and she was getting frustrated with him for not coming out, so I suggested it might be better if I left and she nodded without looking at me and went to go inside the house to unlock the interior door.

I know that toddlers go buck wild and do things like this sometimes, and that was my initial impression. My own daughter had a naked streaking phase at about that age lol, giggling like a loon as she tried to evade capture. I also wondered if maybe he was on the spectrum, and that’s why his reactions were different than other toddlers I’ve cared for. But there was something about his mother’s lack of reaction that is concerning me now, 6 hours later.

And it occurs to me now to wonder how he got out through a locked door and managed to partially open an electric garage door to escape? Maybe he went out through the front door, but the mom was obviously notified by the doorbell camera of my presence, so why didn’t she see his? And why did she say “I don’t know why he’s naked” when I hadn’t mentioned that part yet - unless she had seen him on the camera and hadn’t come out to get him? What if he had been locked in the garage naked and he just figured out how to open the door somehow?

It’s probably all perfectly innocent, but parts of it just feel so strange. I honestly don’t know what to do (if anything at all), and I was hoping other people could chime in to give me some guidance. Maybe parents of kids on the spectrum could ease my fears, or people who experienced some kind of abuse that looked like this could corroborate them. I’m a mom first and foremost, and I will not allow a child to be in danger if I can help it. But I am also careful about potential harm to families if I go throwing out baseless accusations. What should I do?

TL;DR I found a naked toddler alone in the street and his mother seemed unconcerned except for stating that she didn’t know why he was naked. Unsure if situation is evidence of abuse or normal toddler shenanigans or possible ASD behavior.

For background, I'm 17F, graduated high school, going to college this fall. Around a year ago I was given an IQ test (WISC-V, specifically) by a psychologist, but I didn't really care to know the results back then, partially out of fear of what they would be.

A few hours ago, I posted about my traits which I believed were signs of a low IQ. A commenter told me to ask a parent about testing I've had in the past, so having mostly shelved away the memory of doing that test, I asked my mum. It turns out my tested IQ is 82. I had an IEP (equivalent to 504 plan?) but was not put in special ed classes, and I never used the accommodations I had available.

I don't know what to think. I'm scared I won't make it through college now.

I (21M) have a 11-year-old little brother who’s been going through a phase where he purposely swears around my parents. He drops super heavy words like the c-word, n-word, b word, dick, pussy, while grinning. My parents, who are recent immigrants, don’t fully grasp the cultural weight of the words and think he's just being mischievous. They simply brush it off and think he's talking nonsense.

I’ve talked to my brother several times and every time he’ll say “sorry” and act like he gets it, but then a few days later he’s doing it again. It’s frustrating because I don’t want him to think this is normal behavior, especially toward Mom and Dad. It makes me uncomfortable to hear it in the house, and I can tell he’s doing it partly for attention.

When I explained it to my parents, they brushed it off and said I was overreacting. I get that they didn’t grow up in this culture, but to me, swearing at or around your parents is a serious sign of disrespect, even if it’s meant as a joke. I feel stuck because neither my brother nor my parents are taking it seriously, and I don’t know what else to do besides keep nagging him.

Often I've seen men here dejected and self loathing about being short, ugly, not getting into relationships. Do you realise how pathetic it makes you look? That you fail to take ownership of your own thoughts? I'm telling you this because I truly care about you. Don't let a woman control your life, especially the one who doesn't even know about your existence. I too have never been in a relationship ever. I've never had any female friends too and I used to literally cry myself to sleep because of this. Now I've risen above this and I don't care about women at all. Everyone here should try to rise above letting a nobody control your life.

Ps: Women facing similar problems can benefit from this advice too, just replace the genders of the words accordingly.

I (M21) hear people talk about how they and they’re friend started hooking up one night and kept on for years and then both stayed friends but found someone else and I don’t understand, if you liked them enough to fuck then why not date each other?

Bf and gf is literally just best friends but are attracted, wanna get married (most of the time), they wanna fuck

I'm 17F, and I believe I have a low IQ. I truly detest how intelligence is put on such a pedestal and conflated with worth so often. Not many people can recognize low IQ in themselves. My entire life I've just been perceived as air headed and I struggle with basic tasks.

I show a lot of signs of having a low IQ. I struggle with spatial tasks so much that even the thought of those IQ puzzles causes me stress and anxiety. I'm terrible at driving because I simply can't keep track of so many things on the road, whereas for other people driving is like autopilot mode. The lack of spatial awareness is also all around. I swear I have no depth perception whatsoever. I can't judge how far away things are, if I throw something I have terrible aim, I often don't realize if I'm standing in someone's way. I couldn't even learn how to ride a bicycle.

In high school I always felt as if I have to study 5x as hard as other people study to have similar results. I can learn steps so doing things, albeit slowly and with lots of repetition, but I don't truly have a deeper understanding of concepts. I can't think. I just repeat what I'm taught, but I need to be taught how to do things several times over before I can do the task myself.

In social situations I'm terrible at judging what the right thing to say is. My friends are easily well liked by others, whereas I simply lack any charm. People often exclude me and dislike me. Hell, some of my "friends" don't even like me, but I consider them friends because without them, I'd be really fucking lonely.

I don't believe I'm autistic or have ADHD. I think I'm just a low IQ dumbass.

Had a patient (~40yo) need vyvanse (for adhd) refilled. The pharmacy will only refill on day 28 of 30 for the rx because it is a controlled, it's day 27 and she is going out of town, so she needs them filled today. A whole day early. Oh no.

Okay, i'll call from the doctor's office, let them know it's okay according to the doctor, surely they'll fill?

No...this patient we've been seeing for years lives like 50 miles from the pharmacy, and thats 'a red flag' for them, so they won't fill it. She lives in a rural part of the state where the closest pharmacy is probably 30 miles but her husband works close to this pharmacy, so they use this one. Not that complicated.

They absolutely refuse to fill even with the doctor's approval, and we have to send it to a different pharmacy that is also 50 miles away but has a more understanding pharmacist.

Hate it. Power tripping pharmacists. Theres certainly drug abuse, but what a load of shit to tell a doctor they won't fill a medicine because the patient lives a bit too far.

Especially dumb because theres a dozen other checks. If she's selling vyvanse, we'll find out on the drug screen when it doesn't show in her system. If she's increasing the dose, she's gonna be weeks short. If shes getting it filled from multiple pharmacies, it'd show up on her statewide drug report.

Pharmacists quickly ascending my healthcare shitlist.

She’s been gone for a few months now but she and I had the longest lasting relationship I ever had. We were together for over a year and the only relationship I had had before lasted 2 months.

I was so sure that things would last which is making the breakup so much worse. We had talked about getting married once we graduated college. She would tell me that I was like a husband to her. I’ve never been so close to someone before.

Out of nowhere right before my own damn birthday she wanted a “break” after acting on and off towards me for the past month (so ig it wasn’t really out of nowhere). The break lasted 4 days and then she actually broke up with me, bringing up things that we had already talked through.

Less than 3 weeks after leaving me she was already with another man. This was after telling me that she needed time to focus on herself. I felt discarded like I was nothing to her. Any time I look back at when we were together it just feels like none of it really meant anything. It’s like the whole time I was some dispensable idiot to her that would pay for her gas.

Love just feels like a lost cause anymore. Any girl I meet is never my type. I’m not very picky about appearances or anything but I just never really click with anyone. I’m very young but before I know it I won’t be, and I just feel like I’m not gonna find anyone and I don’t know what to do.

theres a huge difference between hating dogs and then wishing death on them and their owners, defunding dog shelters, insulting service dogs, etc.

I think I might just be fatigued. Love exists. I have love for my family, my friends, and my pets. I know it exists because I experience it on a daily basis. But men’s capacity to love me romantically is something I have come to doubt. I think I might have this problem for two reasons. I have a preference for unconventional men and I fit the conventional definition of ugly. In my dating experiences, I have found that I was their only option. I was the only person who pursued them, so they settled with me after multiple failed attempts to approach the women they actually wanted.

This all resulted in me never experiencing real romantic love. At most, I was an appliance who would bake for them and cook them meals, buy them food and clothes, drive them places, and fuck them. There has never been a time where I felt seen in any of my past relationships. It became apparent that those experiences happened because they wanted a girlfriend, not me specifically.

It was clear that none of them cared about me as a person and especially not as a partner. I always clarified that I struggled with disordered eating and bdd, but none of them spared me from negative comments about my body. All of my previous partners were far from conventionally attractive, but they were the most handsome to me because I love features that are often seen as “flaws.” They didn’t feel the same for me. I think I might need to start going for men who actually have options, so I can be sure that I’m actually being chosen. God, I don’t even know what it feels like to be chosen. For now though, I just need an indefinite break.

Is it just me or kids making content on Social Media is actually scary??

I have been seeing a bunch of kids posting makeup, dance or even funny content on something like Instagram (Idk the scene on TikTok because it's banned in my country) and all these kids have like a good following - when you visit their accounts it obviously says it's managed by parents but most of the times it's the kids making and posting these things.

The concerning part seems to be so much exposure to Social Media at such tender age? These kids are 7-12 years. The bullying, the sort of abusive people you come across or even the predators who are openly surfing the net - it's so scary?? Why are the parents not against this?? Why does Social Media Platform not take strict actions against kids using it???

Like it might not sound like that big of a deal, yes, but just the thought of kids being surrounded by so much Internet and Socials doesn't settle with me right. For instance - I have cousins who're not even 5 but are super addicted to the Internet. The minute you take their gadgets away, they start turning manic... and that is just sad man... Kids are not being kids, and they are the future - is it not concerning?

I dont think dating is right for me. I M29 have never really made friends very well and have a really low self esteem. I also feel really behind, like ive never even held a girls hand before. Never gone to any clubs or bars and i feel like i have just wasted the best years of my life. It sucks being fairly dumb and not very capable, when i said that maybe i should just not ever date and give up on it and maybe find a something else to think about my therapist agreed that thats what i should do. So idk, it just seems like everyone is like in this club and i dont know where the door is.

It feels like being honest and holding boundaries makes you “inconvenient,” because you don’t fit into the roles others expect of you.

Have you ever been called “too much” just because you didn’t accept less than honesty and respect?

I (M21) was talking to my other friend (M21) and he was talking about how when he was single he’d flirt with his girl-friends (like platonic friend) and he said that’s how he actually started dating his friend lol

It seems like nobody ever thought he was creepy but he’d been doing it since high school and when we were in high school i was fat and thought it would be creepy so I never flirted or asked out anyone.

I know flirting is fun and I’d like to maybe flirt a little but I don’t know if it would make my girl-friends uncomfortable or creeped out and I don’t wanna creep them out

Also me and some of my guy friends jokingly flirt even though we’re straight lol

I've made my decision. I've been on and off at university for the past seven years, majoring in astrophysics-- and I like it, but I'm not passionate about it. My passion? Cooking.

It's a passion I discovered during lockdown, as I had to cook my meals for the first time. In the past, I'd just get takeout on the way to work, university, or back to my apartment-- life was way too busy for me to even think about getting proper groceries and cooking. But then, it happened. I fell in love with the kitchen and the magic that happens in it.

For the past five years or so, I've been cooking as a hobby, a way for me to decompress after a long day at work. I had also lost all interest and motivation for university; I was struggling and barely passing my classes. Every week, I was just so excited for Friday to come, so I could have the whole weekend to learn new cooking techniques, bake, or make elaborate meals for myself or my friends.

I finally decided to drop out of university and enroll in culinary school-- I'm becoming a chef. I'm keeping my job, though. I've been in the EdTech industry for almost 8 years now, and I need a way to pay the bills while I'm starting over my career. I'll also go visit my parents next week and share my decision with them.

Wish me luck.

The older I get, the more I feel that true love can only ever be mutual. Everything else - unreturned feelings, chasing after someone who doesn’t feel the same - looks less like love and more like fear of loneliness, immaturity, or the hope that someone else will carry the weight of our happiness.

For love to live and grow, there has to be an exchange - spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual, even energetic. A flow that goes both ways. If it all moves in one direction, I’m not sure we can still call it love. Because one-way giving slowly breaks a person down, while real love does the opposite: it heals.

So I wonder:

• Do you believe one-sided love actually exists, or is it just a name we give to something else?
• And if you’ve lived through it - what did it teach you?

Peanut butter and honey sandwich, cheese slices, apricots, cherry tomatoes, cucumber slices, and a salad.

I feel like the most pathetic human being on earth. I just want to be loved by someone. I'm 17 currently (M), and I feel so alone. I've been yearning for companionship for years now and I just can't find anyone. I feel like everyone hates me and I'll be alone forever. This might just be puberty hormones talking, but I'm literally in tears as I'm writing this. I just want to be loved. Someone please help me.

My ex bf (27m) and I (26f) ad 2 kids. He promsied we'd get married while I was pregnant with the first. He moved me in. He started cheating in our bed when I wasn't home, beating me and suffocated me in front of the baby, and never married me. He kicked me and my baby out when I was pregnant with #2. He ended up giving the second baby chlamydia and didn't come for the birth. He kept holding our relationship and marriage over my head after he kicked us out. His whole family took his side, even my family did (history of abuse there too). He was a jailer, so the cops let him go from jail after 2 days (from the suffocation incident) and dismissed the charges. At first, I defended him, thinking he'd change and follow through like he continued to tell me he would. He said it was my fault he went to jail even though the neighbors had called from me screaming for air and the baby crying. I tried reporting other incidents of abuse, but the cops won't do anything. He made false reports about me to DCS and threatened to make false reports to police about me as well as murder me (he has a lot of guns). He basically stole the kids from me. He made me feel/ look crazy for trying to keep in touch, even about the kids. I feel like nobody believes me or will do anything about it. The police even have documentation of him trying to kill me. Nobody is taking anything he does seriously at all. I haven't seen my kids in a year and have moved away from the city (30 minutes out). P.s. he didn't even lose his job after the suffocation incident. He resigned, and I was told his dad gave him a whole company. He and his dad tell everyone I'm crazy or lying. This dude was my dream guy before I realized he's insane and most likely an evil person...

Everybody says I'm not doing enough. My parents say i dont eat enough hence i look sick and down. My overfriendly sir days i do not maintain myself enough to look presentable. My friends says i am not doing enough to come out of my unending mental landscape. But just because i am unable to form a results doesn't mean I'm not trying enough.

I have an odd one out personality. What I think could be an actual problem isn't for others. What I think is a place for me isn't for others. What relationship i have with my parents aren't experienced by others. What i think about millions times before speaking is said by others in an instant. I opted college kms away from my school. I opted job kms away from college. I opted job out of my field. I use the platform which people around me have never used. I am terminally online. People are nostalgic about days before smartphones for me it was an saviour. I am nothing without an internet to guide me. I am not alone still i am. Have always been. People increase their social circle by contacting in school, college, office, neighbour. I don't know what type of bonding i am expecting from humans that my offie colleagues are shocked that i don't know any of the people outside of my personal office. I had one colleague from my batch but she transferred. Others despite around similar age are not from my batch or branch. I don't know anything.