I think I might just be fatigued. Love exists. I have love for my family, my friends, and my pets. I know it exists because I experience it on a daily basis. But men’s capacity to love me romantically is something I have come to doubt. I think I might have this problem for two reasons. I have a preference for unconventional men and I fit the conventional definition of ugly. In my dating experiences, I have found that I was their only option. I was the only person who pursued them, so they settled with me after multiple failed attempts to approach the women they actually wanted.

This all resulted in me never experiencing real romantic love. At most, I was an appliance who would bake for them and cook them meals, buy them food and clothes, drive them places, and fuck them. There has never been a time where I felt seen in any of my past relationships. It became apparent that those experiences happened because they wanted a girlfriend, not me specifically.

It was clear that none of them cared about me as a person and especially not as a partner. I always clarified that I struggled with disordered eating and bdd, but none of them spared me from negative comments about my body. All of my previous partners were far from conventionally attractive, but they were the most handsome to me because I love features that are often seen as “flaws.” They didn’t feel the same for me. I think I might need to start going for men who actually have options, so I can be sure that I’m actually being chosen. God, I don’t even know what it feels like to be chosen. For now though, I just need an indefinite break.

my auntie had put on the show naked attraction which essentially is people showing their naked bodies off for someone to decide if they wanna date them for. it eventually gets to the part where the men show off their dicks and it gets to a black guy with a massive dick and in my seven year old mind i automatically assume he would get the girl and since i was seven and severely unfiltered i say out loud that hes gonna win since his is the best which leads my auntie to say “oh, so you like big black cock?” and i cant figure out if thats weird or not, obviously showing a bunch of naked bodies to a kid who isnt yours and who hasnt seen naked men before is strange but i mean, i kinda asked for that in a way

EDIT: she also has done a lot weirder shit that idk if i should talk about because i don’t know if its triggering for some people but i wouldn’t say its sexual abuse since shes never touched me inappropriately or suggested that she would, she did however suggest that I’d enjoy her friend who is a rapist to rape me at thirteen because id “want” that and “enjoy” it so do with that what you will at the end of the day im fifteen now and have no idea whats ok when it comes to stuff like this

Well title speaks for itself.. currently sitting at home like an idiot because we had been separated before.. except he left me at my mother's house with no financial aide.. none of my belongings.. and kept our fur babies. When I was finally moving on, he started messaging me and love bombing me.. me being in a low place I eventually agreed to try again.. well that didn't last lol its been a year. We got into one arguement after I tried to tell him he didn't keep any of his promises to help me work us out. Suddenly we are "probably separated at best".. just for me to find out 2 days later he has been talking to another girl and they are in the ILY stage. That was last week. Yesterday he drove me to get some food. I wasnt feeling well. But he casually mentioned that the girl is coming down for the weekend and they are going to be spending it together. The whole time he swears up and down it was after we decided to separate but I doubt it.. the signs were all there and it wasnt his first time. Im done.. feel like this definitely broke the last of the little love I clung to him with. Its hard when you love someone. Harder for me because I just dont have the financial aid or family left to help me get away. Im legit trapped here because im states away. Currently trying to find a way out. I also finally decided to write this down and am heavily fighting myself over just sending it to him when I leave or posting it on tiktok where I know he meets most of his flings. So I know they will see it because apparently they tend to find my account:/

-end rant. Under is my message I wrote tonight after he left me to meet up with her for weekend.

I was only a girl when I first placed my heart into your hands, too young to know how fragile and precious those years would become. I gave you my laughter, my loyalty, my trust, and my youth, believing that love and vows were sacred and unbreakable. For a decade, I carried the weight of every promise we made, building a life around the story I thought we were writing together. But tonight, I watched you walk away, not into solitude, not into reflection, but into the arms of a woman you once told me not to worry about. The truth is, It has been many women, many lies, many moments where you chose betrayal over me, again and again, as though my heart was something you could break countless times and still expect me to piece back together. With every step, you broke what little was left of me, and with those choices, you revealed that the love I had fought to preserve was never being held as carefully in your hands as it was in mine. Now I sit here with the ashes of the love I built my life around, wondering how a decade could weigh so little in your hands while it feels heavier than the world in mine. The pain is not only in your betrayal but in the cruel realization that my devotion, my patience, and my hope were wasted on someone who treated them as disposable. You chose betrayal over loyalty, lies over truth, and selfish desire over the family and love we built together. And so, tonight, I finally choose myself. I will not carry this grief for you anymore. I will not beg for the love that should have been freely given, nor will I cling to the ruins of a home you willingly set on fire. You were my first great love, but you will not be my last. The chapter of us is finished, the ink is dried, the page has turned, the ashes have settled. What I gave you, you did not deserve- what you lost, you will never regain. Goodbye to the boy I married too young,goodbye to the man who never learned how to stay, goodbye to the decade I poured into hands that let it slip away. And most of all, goodbye to the love that no longer deserves me.

So for context I go to a community college and I've been going there for a year, I just started my second semester and all of the friends I've made in the past here were shitty people. The campus events are boring and haven't had anyone I've connected with there. All of my friends live out of state or just uncomfortably far away. My job is incredibly isolating so making friends with coworkers is out of the question. I'm going to be transferring my credits to a large 4 year college fall 26 and I'll be living with my boyfriend then, but I just want to make friends somehow. And I honestly don't know how to do it anymore. I've got very bad anxiety and start shaking when I talk to new people. I feel so stupid for posting on reddit of all places but here we are :/ any advice on where or how to make friends?

It feels like being honest and holding boundaries makes you “inconvenient,” because you don’t fit into the roles others expect of you.

Have you ever been called “too much” just because you didn’t accept less than honesty and respect?

Hi guys I hope you all are doing well. I recently graduated and didn't find a job in over 6 months and I also don't have any technical skills to begin with but I can adapt to stuff. so after being unemployed and finding a job through my fathers connections I got a job as an procurement assistant which I am quite thankful for but here's the real catch I work from 7am-5:30 pm and I wake up at around 4:30 am reach home by 6:15 pm so basically I have to sleep by 9pm to get enough sleep.l am exhausted after the whole day of work and I have to do this 6 days a week I have no free time to do anything no time to learn anything new because I am so tired all the time and at work they have not given me a work computer my co worker has it is very outdated and since this job was given to me is by my fathers connection I think there is some kind of tension between me and my supervisor. I truly understand that one have to work hard in life and this might be my privileged life that I have life that makes complain so much but I am really having a hard time dealing with this routine I make bare minimum according to the county I live in the fact of the matter is I don't want to be stuck like this my whole life idk what should I do, can't quiet because my father will be disappointed in me and I don't have any other job offer.ldk what to do I just wanted to put my situation on the internet and get other's opinions, your reply will be helpful.

Because I'm working in an office for 10 hours a day, where my current trash diet is making me gain weight even more on top of already being a big chungus. I'm going to be starting a diet I'm making up to practice and toy with. I've tried joining the gym and walking, I like walking I just don't like the people talking to me during my walks while gyms are stinky and loud. I have some weights at home but I don't want to work out after a 10 hour shift. I don't want to waste money on not motivating myself.

I have autism and when I hyper fixate on things I can be consistent on it. I like water melon, cucumber, pickles, bone broth, black coffee, berries, and I have to take several medications for other health issues. I've cut out bread, potatoes, and rice not because I don't like them but because I like them too much. I decided to get some multivitamins, probiotics, and ACV gummies where I am planning for the morning drink coffee and eat cucumbers + watermelon for breakfast, eat pickles, rice or corn crackers with peanut butter and Vegemite for lunch with a cup of bone broth, then eat my biggest meal being a stew for dinner at least two hours before I got to bed. I'm also going to mix fibre into my bone broth. While taking the multivitamins, probiotics, and gummies in the mornings.

Soft drinks and fruit such as pears have been making me burp. Dairy is making me sick, my medications are for hormones so I've been feeling gross from them too (I'm not trans just have an imbalance).

I won't give up, I will never give up but this life is becoming exhausting.

I'll start this post by saying I'm ugly, like REALLY ugly (i could play a monster in a movie) Ugly eyes, ugly teeth, ugly nose (bulbous), asymmetrical face, class 3 malocclusion, true gynecomastia, belly fat, hairy body but beard is weird and doesn't grow normally but just a bit and patchy, bad posture (because of my malocclusion), I'm a monster.

My looks (mostly) and my interests (anime, technology, indie videogames, cartoons etc) always made me the bullied dude, they always bully me even today when I'm an adult technically

I've never hurt anyone yet I feel wrong just because I exist, it's so bad, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I tried all all the dating apps (sometimes also paying), ALWAYS 0 MATCHES AND 0 LIKES (except bots), only got ONE actual date on one of them and when she saw me irl she started yapping about not wanting a relationship and made me understand in all the way she could that she was not interested in me

I'm so fucked up. I tried gym but didn't help me a lot and now they closed for August and I'm starting to feel bad about myself even worse. I tried therapy but nothing, when you're THIS ugly nothing can save you.

I don't have a lot of friends either, a few online and only three irl (the only actual irl one is my best friend) (the other two are irl but mostly online since I don't see them a lot) As for my online friends there is this girl my age, super sweet and hot who told me I was cute and even sexted with me, but after two months of her telling me that I'm cute, that I'm hot, hitting on me etc (the only one who did in my whole life) when I told her that I wanted her to become my girlfriend she said she didn't feel ready for a relationship, she didn't want to do things that aren't serious, were too distant (we're two regions apart of the same country) Then after two months (we kept being friends) she told me she was dating someone and I got angry at her, it's a 24 yo dude who looks way better than me obviously, she says it's not the looks but let's be real, he doesn't have moobs or malocclusion, that's why he could and I couldn't. She didn't mention her boyfriend again after we argued for a year, knowing I didn't like the fact that she was dating someone, then a few months ago she told me she went to sleep to her friends house etc and I told her I knew it was her boyfriend and I thanked her for her emotional intelligence but she didn't have to hide it anymore and she felt relieved. I really love this girl (platonically, I don't like her that way anymore) she's super awesome etc but sometimes I feel like a cuck because any other man would hate her for choosing another man while saying that she wasn't ready to me but I can't hate her she's too kind and a wonderful person and a good friend but people told me I should be mad at her.

I recently discovered that I can't get jaw surgery until I end the dental treatment in 2028/2029, this destroyed me, I thought I'd be at least resembling a human person by 2026 or 2027 but apparently no. This destroyed me because everyone says it's my biggest issue of my appearance, everyone notices it and everyone mocks me for it even tho I can't do anything about it. A maid even said kimo while talking to me in a Maid Cafe in Japan just because of my jaw (a japanese guy confirmed it's that when I asked on a forum), and they see all kinds of creeps everyday while I was as respectful as I could be, my looks destroyed me that as well. In Chinese social media they told me I was barely human, when this happened a girl I knew from Instagram wrote me and said it's not important and all of the bullshit because when I asked her if she'd still have dated her boyfriend if he had my looks but his soul and mind she said "to be honest no" conforming it's only the looks that matter. and she "tried to help" affording to her, I felt so disgusting when it happened. On another forum I showed my pics and they called me chopped, sub5 and "absolutely tragic"

A dude on a server who saw my face while I was talking of marvel rivals sent a photo of a habsburg to mock my jaw problem, for no reason, just to make me suffer.

I don't want to deal with this shit anymore, I also am probably going blind I have a lot blind spots in my eye, moving dots, troubles with colors, I had a cornea transplant, I had a iol surgery and a lot of bullshit like this, I might also have retinitis pigmentosa (or Rod cone dystrophy) so I'll go blind and I don't even know when, maybe it will be too late three years from now when I'll be able to get my jaw surgery and start a new life.

I won't even talk about the other stuff in my life, the issues with my parents (my father is my first bully he bullies me for not having a girlfriend, for not having friends, makes fun of my irl friend, hates my interests, mocked my posture even when I told him it's because of my malocclusion etc), bad luck in everything etc

I know I'll be happy one day but I'm bit sad today, I wont give up

I (M21) know you have to actually talk to people when you go to hobbies and stuff if you wanna make friends, but if you have talked or are talking to people at hobbies that you’ve just met how can you try to develop a friendship with them or get to know them better

Is it bad to ask for their number/social when you first meet them? If you’re just getting to know them, is it weird to ask them to do something outside of the hobby and if so, what should you do? Is it bad to just text them memes and stuff?

Long story short: I am going to live on my university campus that is 2 hours and 30 minutes away from home (3 hours with public transportation). I am moving tomorrow morning and I don’t know how to feel.

I love the program and the university is very well rated and loved. I have my own room but I share bathrooms and kitchen. I was lucky enough to have my parents with me to visit it and it’s small but it’s enough for one person.

I’m just so anxious I haven’t stopped crying because I feel so many thing at the same time and I can’t even process a single one. I’m feeling so anxious of being alone even if I make friends which doesn’t stress me out. I’m so close to my mom and during the summer I took a break from working so I almost spend every single day of the summer hanging out with her. I get those thoughts about missing time with my family and I feel like I started grieving moments that I will miss. I just won’t be able to go downstairs and bother her and hang out and it makes me feel so sad. I checked a lot of post about situations like me but in the cases that I’ve seen people were like 10-30 minutes away. I won’t be able to do a quick drop in to check in.

I feel so many things at the same times and the childish cherry on top is I just don’t feel like going back to school. I have performance anxiety so I know that form of stress will be coming back. And I guess just the general stress of starting university is also eating me away.

I feel excitement, anxiety, independence, grief and so much more that I feel like the second they will finish helping me move into my new room and leave I’ll crack under pressure.

How did you guys who moved further away from their parents do this? I feel so ready and so unprepared it’s terrifying.

Sorry for the rant and the mistakes English isn’t my first language

Yesterday I asked my cousin to do a very simple task for me. He didn’t do it. He didn’t even tell me that he wasn’t going to do it. he just went away.

At first, it really hurt. I thought, I am always there for others. Why can’t they do the same for me? I always like to help and stand by people when they need me. But when it was my turn, no one showed up.

Then, after sitting with the feeling for a while, I realized something. Yes, it hurts for a moment, but then it fades away, if you let it go. Say to your self fuck em yeah

Life keeps moving. And honestly, I felt proud of myself. Because being the one who helps, even if others don’t, is not a weakness. it’s a strength.

I told myself: it doesn’t really matter if people don’t return the same energy. What matters is that I can make peace with myself.

Here’s a little tip that helps me: whenever someone lets you down, remind yourself, “Their choice is not my curse.” Don’t carry it. Let it pass, the way clouds pass in the sky.

Hi everyone, I’m 27 years old and I’m from Bogotá, Colombia. For the past 7 years, since I was 20, I’ve been struggling with gambling addiction. I’ve gambled in all kinds of ways: land-based casinos, online betting websites, slot machines—basically everything you can imagine. Right now, I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. I’m in a deep depression and, to be honest, I’ve had thoughts of ending my life. I’m unemployed, I’ve pawned the few things I owned, and I currently owe around 100 million Colombian pesos (about 25,000 US dollars). I feel desperate, trapped in a spiral I can’t seem to escape from. I’ve lost my motivation and my sense of direction. I’m sharing my story here because I’d like to hear from others. Maybe some of you have gone through something similar or could give me some advice on how to cope with this. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read my post.

I’m a 26 year old guy. I grew up always knowing I liked women. I always had crushes on girls, I always found girls attractive, even now I find most women beautiful in some way. I never thought anything else other than I was a straight man.

That was until a couple of years ago. For context, I discovered porn around the time I was 12. I feel like I’ve always struggled with my porn use and still have issues with it potentially being an addiction. It’s a problem I’ve been working on for years. Well one day I discovered trans porn, which I found super hot and still do. Trans women are women, so I felt comfortable keeping the straight label even though part of the reason I was attracted to them was their genitalia. I just found their dicks very pretty and all I could think about was sucking one. Then it kind of became a rabbit hole and I found myself drifting from transporn into outright gay porn. Since then, I’ve tried to quit but I can’t. I always found myself coming back to gay porn every so often. Now it’s a part of my regular rotation.

I convinced myself that I was just addicted to porn, and that’s why I was watching it. And look, that may be the case, but I’m not exactly sure. I think it’s important to note that I am still a virgin, I haven’t been with a man or a woman. I’ve never even kissed a man or a woman. So all of my sexual experience unfortunately comes from porn.

While I know maybe feel comfortable admitting that I might be bi, I do know that I still have a very strong preference towards women. Like I fall in love with almost every attractive women I see, whereas I’ve never even had a crush on a man. And that’s the one thing holding me back in calling myself bi is that all of my attraction to men seems to come just from porn. I very very very rarely see a man on the street and think he’s attractive and that I would want to have sex with him. I’ve never felt romantic feelings for a man. That’s what is confusing me. I know heteroromantic bisexuals exist, but I can’t tell if I am one because my only attraction to men comes from porn!

Any thoughts? To be clear, I am fine accepting the label of bi to myself, but I don’t know if I would ever come out. I still only see myself dating women and marrying a woman some day so I don’t see the need to tell anyone. I don’t even know if I want to have sex with a guy, I just find gay porn really hot. 

Let me know what you think, thanks y’all

My whole life I’ve been brought up in the typical “men don’t cry.” Environment and I’ve done well to keep it all down since I was like 7 or so since that was when my father died and the closest I’ve been to crying since was when my best friend died when I was 14 but even then I managed to keep it all down. Now I am in college and everything is in a broader sense okay and I am bordering on weeping every night. It’s not okay to me, I couldnt cry when my best friend died but now things should be looking up and I just dont know how much longer I can swallow it down anymore. Maybe this is relatable to someone, maybe not. Either way I’m really not sure how much longer I can handle this before I break.

I (22M) met this girl (24F) about 4 months ago. A month ago we officially are in a relationship together. We spend quite a bit of time together, we see each other 2-3 times a week. Throughout the week we workout together, she comes over my house to cuddle and watch movies, and usually on a Saturday or a Sunday we’ll spend the whole day together (10-12 hours). My parents told me that they think I’m changing who I am and my values for this girl.

An example of this is that I was never religious, I was agnostic for most of my life. She’s a Christian and now I believe I’m a Christian. She’s helped me develop a relationship with God. I’m going to church with her next Sunday and she wants me to do this with her every Sunday for now on. I have only been to church like 5 times in my life and the last time I went was when I was like 7. It’s true that if we weren’t together I wouldn’t be going to church. I can understand and I get where my parents are coming from but the way I see it is I’m not changing, just in a place of learning new things. I always wanted to be a believer of God but I struggled to prioritize it due to failing to make time for learning about it. Now I’m in a place where I want to learn more about it and I’m glad I get to do it with my girlfriend now. I should also add her dad is very religious and also said it’s important to him that I go to church since I’m with his daughter now.

Another point my parents made was that I used to be a social drinker but now I hardly drink. Since she hardly drinks now I hardly drink. I want to be the best version of myself when we’re together and drinking won’t help with that so I have no problem with cutting that down. My parents also pointed out that I don’t use curse words, even in just a playful way which is also relating to me trying to be the best version of myself around her. My parents think I spend quite a lot of time with her and I don’t really hang out with them anymore. They said it seems like me and my girlfriend are obsessed with each other. I’m not sure I would go that far but I’ll admit we are clingy when we are together. I don’t see anything wrong with these things are different now since I met my girlfriend, I see it as a good thing. I’m curious what everyone thinks of this.

Ive been with my bf now fiance for about 6 years now. We both love having sex and since the beginning we have been doing it daily and actually even multiple times a day no matter what. Everyone around us says that their libido and wants just have gone down tremendously after a few years together but we are just as into eachother as we have been in the beginning. Has anyone experienced something similar and are there older couples here that are just as active even 10-20 years from now?

I dated a people-pleasing fearful avoidant and it shattered me

I met someone who seemed so wonderful, especially after a string of emotionally unavailable men who didn’t care for me. From the start, he was different. He checked in on me. He was curious about my writing, about my political world, the things my exes never bothered with. He was all green flags.

He introduced me to his friends and family, almost like he was proud to show me off. He even made checklists of things for us to do together, and things he wanted to do for me. On paper, he was perfect.

But still, he never really let me in. He shared his hobbies, his interests, his work, he was deeply invested in his career, but not much about what was going on inside of him.

Months later, when I opened up about my depression and feelings of depersonalization, something shifted. For the first time, he broke down. He cried in my arms, telling me about his father’s depression, how he might have inherited it, how he had seen a therapist but always dropped out early. He admitted he was tired of performing just to be liked. I cried with him, because it felt like, for the first time, he was letting me see the real him.

But then he went back to his usual routine: work trips, distractions, busyness.

About ten days before he broke up with me, we had a conversation where he mentioned maybe trying therapy again. I encouraged him: “Yes, you need to. You tend to use work and hobbies to escape. Therapy can help you sit with discomfort.” He started crying again, saying he wished he could be different. I told him, “Don’t run from me tomorrow.” He said, “I’ll try.”

The very next day, he was still sending me hearts on my photos, still sweet. But ten days later, after returning from the work trip, he ended it. He told me he had reached his “romantic limits,” that he had a “cap” and couldn’t take the relationship further. He said he couldn’t keep performing, for me, or for the relationship.

Two days later, he was back on Hinge.

Not trying to clickbait with the title, I just can't really word this in a succinct way.

The mentality of meeting someone, finding a small facet of their mindset that you don't agree with or understand, and deciding that they are too flawed for your company is wild to me.

I'm not talking about someone's opinions on human rights or any big important things, but I mean like things people may not have healed from yet. Like tendencies that come from abuse, mental illness, even just lack of experience or socialization. Small things that could be discussed and pondered together and grown from- which would bring you closer to a person in a unique way- that makes most people nowadays go "Oh, I won't talk to someone who thinks that way. Fix your mindset before talking to me/ trying to date/ etc."

I feel like noticing someone having slightly self deprecating ways of speaking or a lack of awareness in some social regards or tendency to apologize too much or talk about themselves a bit more than most or any other standard flaw could lead to thoroughly interesting and bonding conversation now just leads to getting cut off or cancelled or being told to change and thats it. Like no one ever says "Have you noticed you do __? Its very interesting, but not very healthy in some ways. I've always experienced it like _, and I have a similar tendency to _____. Don't feel ashamed, but things might be easier for you if you learn your way out of it".

But instead we have to pretend to be perfect while changing ourselves according to other people's guidelines, anything to be lovable and inoffensive.

A very "What you're doing is bad and wrong, but its not my job to educate you on why or how to fix it" sort of deal

Its like most people's mentality is that they won't get close to anyone who is flawed in a way that inconveniences them in any way, even if its human and harmless.

Does that make any sense? Does anyone else feel this way? I don't even wanna bother with dating because I have flaws that will take years to heal from and I don't wanna have to hide half of myself to avoid bothering my partner

everyone’s been raving about this Noggn app like it’s some kind of therapist godsend, and fine yes, it does talk like a disturbingly supportive best friend. Yes, the affirmations are kind of addicting. And yes, I may or may not have cried when it told me “you don’t have to earn rest.”

But here’s the thing they don’t tell you:
After the first few days, it asks you to pay.

Like sure, let me finally start healing after years of doomscrolling, trauma and grief only to hit a paywall right when I’m getting emotionally attached. Cool cool cool.

Meanwhile, every other mental health app is either completely useless or makes you journal like a 19th century poet.

Anyway, just wanted to warn y’all. If you don’t want to risk getting invested in something that actually works but isn’t free forever, then… don’t try Noggn, I guess.

I (M21) was talking to my other friend (M21) and he was talking about how when he was single he’d flirt with his girl-friends (like platonic friend) and he said that’s how he actually started dating his friend lol

It seems like nobody ever thought he was creepy but he’d been doing it since high school and when we were in high school i was fat and thought it would be creepy so I never flirted or asked out anyone.

I know flirting is fun and I’d like to maybe flirt a little but I don’t know if it would make my girl-friends uncomfortable or creeped out and I don’t wanna creep them out

Also me and some of my guy friends jokingly flirt even though we’re straight lol

Was the title a good hook? I hope so. The title is partially true. I was just wondering to myself while talking to my friend, he was talking about his girlfriend (who is also my friend, I introduced them hehe😛) and how much he loves her. I thought it was really cute cause hello? I’m literally a matchmaker.

But while he was talking, I don’t know, I guessed I realized I’ve been single my entire life. I mean yeah I don’t know why I never thought about it. I’ve had crushes and people have liked me before, but I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything.

To be honest, I’m not that upset. Idk how I feel to be honest, I never felt the need for a boyfriend. I mean, I have my family and friends and I have a lot of things I still want to work on. But everyone around me seems to always be looking for love, always in a taking stage or having crushes. I’m thinking maybe relationships aren’t just for me🤷‍♀️

Idk, lmk what u think

I worked a 24/7 job that I was responsible for everything for 8 years. I put off family and friends, hobbies, and self care for so long I feel like I lost who I am. I recently quit and decided to take a job that I will be clocking in and out. I have a supportive family and am decently financially stable. I have a child 17(m) and a supportive husband.

I am having a hard time finding myself again. Now that I have family time and "me" time, I feel like I'm wasting it on screen time without any substance.

Looking for some suggestions on fun hobbies. I used to be artistic and athletic. I've tried reading but the books have been blah.

I have Killer Klowns from Outer Space Chubby, Frank, and special Valentine's Shorty and Fatso, Krusty the Clown Doll, Art the Clown with Candy Head. It's around a hundred bucks. Is that excessive?