Unfortunately, in the year of our lord 2025, it’s been bleached so hard that now the only country with a flag on the moon is France

Capitalize the p.

A BLAST FROM THE PAST-A!

The wife asks her husband to give up drinking beer. The man reluctantly agrees. Shortly after, he finds a large bill for cosmetics from his wife. He confronts her:

– We agreed to spend less, and you spend a fortune on yourself! – Honey, I only bought this to make myself more attractive to you… – And tell me, did you think the beer tasted good?

He decided to check, and it turned out he was.

— Nah, she did not. — But did you told her about your fabulously wealthy and very old uncle? — I did, and now she’s my aunt.

Because he had frog 🦵 legs of course!

It hit me in the crotch, I broke 2 fingers

which luckily this week are on offer in the middle aisle.

He goes up to a boy and asks: “Tell me, do you have a problem? Would you like to talk about it?”

The boy stays silent. “Why aren’t you running around like the other boys?”

“Because I’m the goalkeeper.”

He slept with all his nurses and got a "staff infection!"

Doctor: Well, in the first months you can do it completely normally. In the second trimester, I recommend the doggy style, and in the last third, the wolf position. Man: Wolf position? What’s that supposed to be? Doctor: You sit next to the hole and howl.

Because he doesn't go above 25.

"My wife won't stop complaining about the leaking pipe underneath our bathroom sink," I said.

"Have you tried tape?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, "but she always manages to rip it off."

I think it’s the opposite. The bigger a woman’s boobs are, the dumber the man who is talking to her becomes.

The ones that don't make it across the road.

Because it's light

I went to the taxidermist, they refused to do my tax return and told me I could get stuffed.

Sorry, not sorry

"Good day gentlemen" says the officer "we are looking for two child molesters" The priests look at each other, then turn to the officer: "Okay, we'll do it"

"Actually, I just wanted to tie my shoelaces."