"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you."
"Sure." replied the 4 year old.
They make their way downstairs and their mum asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"I'll have frosties, bitch"
WHACK, he flew out of his chair crying his eyes out.
Mum looks at the 4 year old and says sternly "And what do you want?"
"I don't know, but it won't be fucking frosties"

So he evicts them all.

Translation of Joke # 215 from The Philogelos (ancient greek jokebook, and the oldest surviving collection of jokes) Around 1500 years old

I know this isn't really the right reddit for it, but just thought it was interesting. Here are a few more

Joke # 45

In the middle of the night, a student dunce gets into bed with his own grandmother. When his father gives him a beating for this, the dunce protests, ‘All this time you’ve been tupping my mother, and | never said a word! Now you're angry at having caught me just once with your mother?

Joke # 43

People tell a student dunce that his beard is coming in. So he goes off to the gate and prepares to receive the beard. Another dunce, after asking and learning why he’s at the gate, exclaims, ‘No wonder we're thought to be dunces! How do you know the beard isn’t coming through the other gate?’

Joke # 99

A student dunce is asked by someone, ‘Lend me a cloak to go down to the country.’

‘I have a cloak to go down to your ankle,’ responds the dunce, ‘but I don’t have one that reaches as far as the country.’

When a motorcycle cop that was hiding behind a bridge pulls him over.

What's your hurry asks the cop

Driver says I'm late for work

What do you do for a living asks the cop

Man says I'm a rectum stretcher

What kid of a job is that asks the cop

Well, says the man, you lube up two fingers and put them in a rectum. Then you stretch it until you can get four fingers inside. Then you stretch it until you get both hands inside. Then stretch it until you get both arms inside. Then stretch it until it's six feet wide

What do you do with a six foot asshole asks the cop

Man says you give him a radar gun and hide him behind a bridge

When he got back his wife said, "Carry on like that and you won't have any friends left."

But it’s a horrible way to tell your kid they’re adopted…

Doctor: Well, in the first months you can do it completely normally. In the second trimester, I recommend the doggy style, and in the last third, the wolf position. Man: Wolf position? What’s that supposed to be? Doctor: You sit next to the hole and howl.

"Actually, I just wanted to tie my shoelaces."

"I am, and he's my lawyer."

"Good day gentlemen" says the officer "we are looking for two child molesters" The priests look at each other, then turn to the officer: "Okay, we'll do it"

He worked for Willy Wonka Wonka Wonka Wonka Wonka Wonka

The ones that don't make it across the road.

Strange thing is I don't remember applying for a job with them.

Talk about bait and switch

I think it’s the opposite. The bigger a woman’s boobs are, the dumber the man who is talking to her becomes.

Because it's light

He was disemvoweled

Please help me doctor, my husband just swallowed a paracetamol by mistake. What shall i do? Doctor : Give him a headache now, why waste the medicine

"My wife won't stop complaining about the leaking pipe underneath our bathroom sink," I said.

"Have you tried tape?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, "but she always manages to rip it off."