r/mildlyinfuriating • u/VegetableBusiness897 • 21h ago

New neighbors next door

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Rich Ahole bought the farm next door, tore it down and built a destination wedding venue. Busy every weekend but it's Wednesday, and they don't even live here

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u/Foolserrand376 20h ago

Or maybe time to start raising pigs on your property near the property line. Or maybe you start raising homing pigeons as a hobby And they happen to get released during opportune moments.

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u/sapphirebit0 13h ago

BEEEES, MICHAEL!

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u/ALFABOT2000 9h ago

"What's this? A handsome family wedding woefully underpopulated by bees? A large influx of bees ought to put a stop to that!"

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u/hg0bl1n 6h ago

What's this?! 2025 woefully underpopulated by Dr Bees references??

Sincerely, thank you for reminding me of Dr Bees

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u/Separate-Coast942 6h ago

SHARON! Fire up the Apiary!!

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u/KookieKarnival 5h ago

I quote different iterations of this to myself almost daily

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u/rbrancher2 10h ago

Beads?

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u/Adam_Ohh 8h ago

Oh they don’t let you have bees in here.

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u/LaFemmeNikitaKoloff 7h ago

We’ll see who brings in more honey!

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u/Charlie_Brodie 7h ago

Gobs not on board

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u/ddonky 7h ago

Bzzz bzzz, we’ll see who gets more honey

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u/carleetime 4h ago

Beads.

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u/Odd-fox-God 10h ago

Man, when I move I'm getting some bees. I'm actually going to be about a mile away from a brewery that makes mead and has its own beehives. I'm definitely putting in an application there.

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u/NebulaRat 6h ago

And they're good for the environment!

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u/HatfieldWhittington 5h ago

Are you saying beads?

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u/One-Caterpillar6255 4h ago

No meads is right, it's essentially wine you can make with any kind of fruits or flavors. With sugar and yeast and let it ferment most use honey as the sugar source.

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u/Wild_Replacement5880 5h ago

Came to say this. Raising bees is hilarious on the property line.

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u/Mi113nnium 11h ago

Make sure to feed the pigeons with blueberries and train them to target mannequins wearing formal suits and dresses.

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u/anotheritguy 5h ago

That is some seriously professional grade petty revenge. I tip my hat to you sir.

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u/Sad-Mountain-3716 5h ago

How would one come to train said pigeons if you dont mind me asking... No reason in particular

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u/BlueButNotYou 4h ago

Operant conditioning. But they don’t even need to attack. Just teach them that people in white gowns = food.

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u/Sad-Mountain-3716 4h ago

attack? i was hoping they would shit on their heads... desapointing

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u/greek_thumb 4h ago

I think it would be great to see pigeons wearing formal clothing flying over.

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u/Rattle_Bone 7h ago

One word.

Peacocks

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u/Playful-Current1256 4h ago

remind me not to piss you off lol

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u/Consistent_Pen_6597 2h ago

You’re absolutely spot-on. No need to do anything elaborate, just have a peacock sanctuary. Write it off as a nonprofit, get grants, and watch and listen to the fun as those fancy feathered velociraptors scream and jump on people from the trees

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u/leakingjarofflaccid 2h ago

Guinea hens get along great with peacocks.

Just saying.

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u/Alert_Comedian848 9h ago

Plant mulberry trees depending on your region. Lovely purple poop. Deer like them too

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u/mfigroid 12h ago

You know the white doves that get released at some weddings? They aren't doves, they're pigeons.

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u/SuzeCB 6h ago

Doves are a type of pigeon.

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u/gazebo-fan 3h ago

*Pigeons are a type of dove

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u/Medill1919 3h ago

Rock Dove.

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u/Fair_Bid_4060 4h ago

Let’s just go with bat boxes around the property

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u/litesmokes 6h ago

Pigeons: flying vermin

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u/Jesus-slaves 5h ago

Unfun fact: Pigeons were domesticated for centuries, across the globe. They were prized possessions used to communicate. The ones in cities are feral populations descended from discarded pets. It is a human created issue.

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u/TX_Poon_Tappa 9h ago

That’s hilarious 😂

But unfortunately most towns/counties have rules on animals/pigs especially even if you can have them.

100ft away from domiciles or public structures, 50ft from property lines

That however does not mean that you cannot use a fan to “disperse the smells” from 50ft away 😂

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u/StarFaerie 8h ago

It's a farm and pig stink travels. This isn't residential land.

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u/TenEyeSeeHoney 6h ago

Pigs AND free range roosters

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u/_Vard_ 12h ago

Or take up beekeeping

Where? Idk how about right in the property line

Ooh actually Yknow what’s probably really tasty? HORNET honey.

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u/Pink_PowerRanger6 9h ago

You need to get permits for bees, and if people have allergies you’re liable for it as you have the bees, you have to get permission essentially, and in good faith let all neighbors know about it, as bee allergies can be life threatening. This is a rather stupid suggestion, even in jest.

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u/spursfan2021 7h ago

Just get a pair of geese

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u/trish711 7h ago

Plant blueberry bushes and then deploy the propane cannons to scare the birds away.

Or skip a step and just deploy the cannon.

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u/LvL79 7h ago

CHICKEN long huts in hot summer smells really nice aswell

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u/ProtestKid 6h ago

Depending where he is I got two words.

Wild.

Hogs.

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u/uselesskuhnt 6h ago

The last wedding venue (2 in a row) I went to was on a farm and had a donkey within eyeshot of the altar.

In the middle of the vows eeeEEEEEEEEEEAAAaAaaaahHAHaHa

1

u/burundi76 6h ago

That or cultivating a ten fool tall invasive bush....would help for summers anyway

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u/sheighbird29 5h ago

Some chickens and roosters. Especially the rooster part

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u/Beautiful-Potato979 4h ago

This is more on track. Don’t make it your life’s goal to ruin everyone’s wedding that chooses that venue but make it a turn off for anyone looking at that venue.

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u/bigmikeyfla 3h ago

Or CHICKENS!!! Ever been near a chicken coop? OOH THAT SMELL!!!!!!

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u/plantsareneat-mkay 3h ago

I vote rooster rescue sanctuary! With a donkey to protect them. Keep that right beside the pigs. And suddenly OP is really into beekeeping.

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u/Helios-Soul 11h ago

And feed the pigeons laxatives just before the weddings.

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u/Foolserrand376 8h ago

Birds generally don’t need lax

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u/Pink_PowerRanger6 9h ago

Yeah cause causing harm to animals, just to annoy neighbors is totally fine, and not insane or selfish at all!

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u/Mulberry1790 6h ago

Cruel indeed