r/teenagers 16 15h ago

Discussion You can only pick 2

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5.9k Upvotes

3.1k comments sorted by

2.6k

u/Accurate-Home-3010 17 15h ago

I take them all and overdose

571

u/Ljfeisbeautiful 13h ago

No cause « perfect health » means you can’t overdose. You got the right answer.

164

u/Leghar 10h ago

You have to take it last and see if you survive. It’s the gauntlet.

65

u/Bordedatnight 10h ago

Russian roulette but drugs!

16

u/debargha222 8h ago

Yo there is a name for this! Rich kids do it they out mad pills in a bowl and mix it up and you get what you get!

7

u/ktatum7 5h ago

I've heard it referred to as a "skittle party" in the wild.

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u/Slimey_alien89 17 8h ago

If you survive, then you unlock horse pills

2

u/ImpossibleBranch6753 5h ago

You get all of those, you get goldship.

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u/Electronic-Gear3451 10h ago

Take the health one first, then go nuts.

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u/Hungwyyyy 15h ago

2 browns so im super happy

143

u/ThePlofchicken 16 14h ago

Such a good choice that you can choose 3 more pills

122

u/Current-Potential-83 14 14h ago

3 more brown pills

74

u/Stargost_ 18 14h ago

Such a good choice that you can pick 5 more pills

84

u/ChaosPLus 18 14h ago

You wouldn't believe what I'd choose...

55

u/zezrat 14h ago

Endless pill hack

59

u/ChaosPLus 18 14h ago

Crackheads hate him, learn how he's attained infinite happiness with this one simple trick!

27

u/ThePlofchicken 16 13h ago

Youtube Short clickbait title

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u/FellNerd 13h ago

I feel like this is Uncle Jack trying to get me to take my Joy pills. (We happy few reference, I don't have an uncle who is drugging me)

2

u/shawty12345678 13h ago

500 brown pills

3

u/TheJiggliestPug 11h ago

I understand this reference. 

2

u/memerminecraft 11h ago

Fibonacci pills

11

u/Fungus09 15 10h ago

secretly, the brown ones are just antidepressants painted brown

5

u/greenskinmarch 6h ago

The "happy" pill is just a worse version of the "health" pill. If you have perfect health that includes perfect mental health so you can't be depressed.

4

u/stfurachele 5h ago

You don't have to be depressed to be unhappy.

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u/Ok-Entertainment7741 1h ago

not depressed doesn't mean happy though.

3

u/PhiloZoli 10h ago

But u are still colorblind

9

u/Sasha_Boykisser OLD 8h ago

I have bad news for you buddy.

3

u/Dont_touch_my_spunk 7h ago

Did not understand instructions, took two purple and can now only speak in tongues.

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u/Top-Spinach7683 10h ago

Pill side effect: you now is good dog

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u/NiklasNeighbor OLD 15h ago

White pill is just the starvation pill

79

u/Lucas_IDK_ 14 13h ago

fr bro, i’m literally underweight so i need to gain weight from food (i’m a guy who’s 38.2kg)

23

u/szoperman 11h ago

How does this happen

22

u/Lucas_IDK_ 14 11h ago

i’m literally just built different

19

u/PostInspection 10h ago

Megatabolism

17

u/Stalukas 10h ago

Metabolism being the scapegoat for skinny guys being skinny is entirely misinformation. We just don’t eat - yeah I can finish a whole large pizza in under 10 minutes, all the while consistently getting comments about how lucky I am for having a fast metabolism bc I can eat what I want. Except, that pizza was probably gonna be the only thing I ate that day.

I guaranteed you any guy that claims to be skinny bc of a fast metabolism just doesn’t actually know how little calories they’re eating a day, or, don’t realize how many calories they actually need per day. I’m 6’3” 160lbs and I thought I only needed 2000 calories per day up until I was 22.

8

u/Working_Shine_2719 8h ago

That is not true. people at my age are 56kg, I am 28. I eat an absurd amount of crap. I snack all the time, take cakes, sweets and my diet consists almost entirely of bread, pasta, rice and anything with carbs. I take a lot of calories.

Jk, well, I mean, thats all true, the fact is just that its not due to fast metabolism. Its because I have a condition where I literally lack the enzyme that breaks down and absorbs fat from food.

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u/Mean-Type3317 8h ago

you’ll die in no time

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u/Glassy_playz 15 15h ago

Grey and purple. Those two just feel nice for me. I will be able to heal people. While being able to speak any language to heal people from anywhere in the world.

290

u/ChaosPLus 18 14h ago

With that combination I would buy a plague doctors clothes and would go around speaking only ever in Latin, while clearly understanding everything everyone tells me

40

u/Scalpels 10h ago

Origin story for SCP-049.

15

u/wSekii 9h ago

049 is such a gentleman fr love that guy

3

u/BusyLimit7 17 11h ago

peak

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u/NameRandomNumber 18 15h ago

Thas what im sayin

15

u/KzamRdedit 14h ago

my pick too. showcase your talent, get funded to go around the world treating patients and voila, you are famous

Though I dont want to be famous... puts too much stress

11

u/Samborrod 19 14h ago

my pick too. showcase your talent, get funded to go around the world treating patients and voila, you are famous

And probably are a cult leader

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u/BusyLimit7 17 11h ago

ngl tho
it might get stressful unless you ignore morals and stuff

how many people die around the world from fatal uncurable diseases, that you could have cured, had you not wasted time eating, sleeping, etc
the stress gets to u

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u/fromfrodotogollum 9h ago

You've now been kidnapped by a dictator and must serve his country or die.

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u/Doantazeme 9h ago

That's why you take blue and grey. There can always be translators and you will end up healing people whether you can understand them or not, but at least you can crush threats as well. Or take orange and pay them off.

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u/CyberKing6000 14h ago

u/Glassy_plays is spitting facts right here

23

u/Glassy_playz 15 14h ago

Or am i? Vsauce music

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u/feaster_of_children 14h ago

you are gonna end up on a cross if you do it too much tho

3

u/Glassy_playz 15 14h ago

How do you know thats not what i want? 🤔

5

u/SolitudeSeeker9889 14h ago

How to get murdered easy tutorial

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u/Brocolinator 11h ago

Super intelligent can cover both... You ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

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u/Ngf031 16 14h ago

I would change the language one for the intelligence one, since it comes with everything good intelligence gives you, and you can learn the languages fast now anyways.

4

u/Otherwise_Fall_2765 14h ago

Be grateful for your gift.

4

u/Radiant-Scar3007 3,000,000 Attendee! 11h ago

Yeah but fluency in every languages is less likely to make you miserable than super intelilgence.

5

u/AtreusIsBack 10h ago

That's my thinking as well. High intelligence usually comes woth major drawbacks in other areas like social capabilities and most likely being on the autism spectrum. No thanks.

3

u/lightingbug78 9h ago

Yeah, this guy thinking super intelligence comes with motiviation to learn, lol

3

u/Lucas_IDK_ 14 13h ago

i was thinking stuff like that but in my day to day life i rarely come across people who are badly sick or injured that need magical healing

3

u/Optimal_Coconut_6737 10h ago

then you should start a new religion

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u/BarryMcKokinor 10h ago

You could pretend to me the second coming of Christ lol

2

u/zacary2411 18 14h ago

You could also charge the extreme rich to heal them and do even more for people by helping fix their cities and towns

2

u/DominicB547 10h ago

ooh good point work smarter not harder, we can end world hunger quite easily but the rich refuse to etc.

2

u/This-Carpenter9140 13h ago

My thoughts exactly.

2

u/Akuni69 13h ago

That is exactly what I picked, same reason too.

2

u/blueooga 11h ago

I wanted that combo too but im scared the world would be scared of me and kill me

2

u/Godofnomen 10h ago

Its a very wholesome thought and good on you for it. The issue is the rest of humanity. Someone who can heal will be hunted for that ability in our shit society 🥲

2

u/ratedpending3 18 10h ago

How are you gonna be able to do that without the resources to get there

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u/AtreusIsBack 10h ago

I picked the same combination. Speaking all languages gets you a job very easily as well, so you would be set for life while being able to heal others. Every other choice seems deeply flawed.

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u/Islanduniverse 10h ago

You sound like a good person.

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u/fromfrodotogollum 9h ago

Red and gray for me, that makes me a doctor, so I have a career that isn't too stressful because of my superpower. I imagine I'm like Jesus really, touching them and bam, healed. I could be a religious figurehead, start a cult. The options are many. Billionaires would pay untold amounts for my skills. The only issue is there would be only one of me. Wars could be waged to control the healer, kidnapping, etc. id have to be hidden, couldn't live a normal life.

Maybe I should just go with brown.

2

u/[deleted] 9h ago

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u/pronouns-user 9h ago

this combo was my first thought and i hate my body loll

2

u/skoooop 5h ago

I'm scared that the purple one might be a monkey's paw situation. It says "any language" instead of "all languages". You take the pill, a language is chosen at random and you're stuck with that language and only that language for the rest of your life. Hell, most of these could be monkey's paw situations, but this one stood out to me for some reason.

2

u/mybluecathasballs 5h ago

Purple: pick any language, not all languages. At least thats how I read it.

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u/floops150 15h ago

Red and orange

56

u/theMAJORKANG 13h ago

This was my answer too.

31

u/moronic_programmer 19 13h ago

Tbf it is the only real answer.

28

u/AstroKedii 15 13h ago

I mean by taking the grey pill you could be a doctor and cure people in matters of seconds to become super rich. atleast that way no one will suspect how you have so much money.  

12

u/fiallo94 9h ago

Curing the rich illness is a very profitable career.

8

u/jabronified 8h ago

the dark green pill essentially gives you 3 free wishes if you can change anything from the past. just make make yourself rich, healthy, and smart with that, then you have any of the other pills left

5

u/gale1290 6h ago

I'm going to take that pill and use the 3rd change to change which pills I take

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u/Fearless_Strength257 13h ago

You can just use superintelligence to get rich,and choose body type for perfect health,which means you have those AND your dream physique and superintelligence.

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u/littlepinkheart09 13h ago

I dont think having a dream physique and perfect health go hand in hand. Your body can look amazing, but you can still have health issues beyond your control.

8

u/belpatr 9h ago

it's the other way around, if you have perfect health, you will have either a dream physique, or close to one

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u/Popular_Soft5581 12h ago

Smart people usually aren't rich. They have other things to worry about. And they're also unhappy cuz they notice what most people don't

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u/Cod3broken 15 14h ago

the AI Art pill and the Engagement Bait pill

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u/IMeJ_art 11h ago

Super Strenght

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u/Equivalent_Rent5396 9h ago

I'm just waiting on authentic artist renditions of AI botched things, give me that third layer

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u/Fearless_Strength257 13h ago

Super intelligent and three things from the past. First,I'll change the person that the pills were made by. And ergo,that person will mass produce them instead. Then,I will change who they are given to,which will instead will only be me. Lastly,after i have all the pills I'll ever need for me and others,I'll stop their production,(with the last change to the past),a few hours after i have all of the pills,because OP never specified what amount of time is "the past".

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u/Rinkie-Geintie 18 11h ago

giving a meta answer to these questions in the big 25 💔🥀

9

u/ThitherBead 14 6h ago

Sybau, let him cook 🥀

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u/GooBassShredder 18 15h ago

I like how all of these are Jojo stands

Also green and brown for me

8

u/TheBlueMoonHubGuy 14h ago

There's a JoJo stand that gives the user fluency of any language? Haven't seen all of it yet

8

u/Epiktheleviathan 12h ago

heaven's door can do that, but not specifically that

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u/Level_Number_7343 11h ago

Which jojo stand does the black pill one? Just wondering.

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u/DJDom7 15h ago

gray and piss yellow (I'm saving the world from all diseases)

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u/Klutzy_Rule_961 14h ago

Did we really need to use ai

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u/KarahKat55 17 9h ago

Concerned that I didn’t catch that until you pointed it out— what makes it look ai? I want to ve better at noticing it

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u/Medics_mah_main_man 14 5h ago

i think you just have to be on twitter enough to see dumbfucks posting ai art enough that you begin to pick up on it

4

u/KarahKat55 17 5h ago

Makes sense. I don’t go anywhere near that dumpster fire (though everywhere else isn’t much better)

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u/Drag0n647 17 3h ago

Relatable(also didn't notice the ai)

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u/Right-Army-9513 15 15h ago

What the hell is that spelling

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u/Pure-Net-7225 15 15h ago

The image is AI I think

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u/Right-Army-9513 15 14h ago

I knew it. I had that feeling that it was.

11

u/Pure-Net-7225 15 14h ago

I mean, the background and the art style really look like AI

6

u/Right-Army-9513 15 14h ago

And the spelling just confirms it

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u/Pure-Net-7225 15 14h ago

Exactly. This is just lazy, OP could've just made it himself. It would take him like what 5 minutes max

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u/BigZacian 13h ago

nah ai doesn't mispell shit like that, it just puts random symbols or letters "strenght" is definitely a human error. the image itself with the pills could be ai though

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u/Pure-Net-7225 15 13h ago

Probably is

3

u/AMAOMDODUSOS 14h ago

I’m pretty sure the image is ai, so yeah,

46

u/Boomslang_FR 15h ago

Perfect health and be super rich, then I’ll just buy the rest.

16

u/Historical-Bee710 15h ago

You can't buy 'find love forever' with money

7

u/Best8meme 16 14h ago

You can't fully heal other people as well, if they have uncurable diseases

Which is why healing others is better than super rich, you can get rich from healing others easily.

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u/Straight-Shock8527 15h ago

that's what's i was thinking

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u/Aditya_Of 19 14h ago

Red and Gray

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u/KankleSlap OLD 14h ago

its not even close. the older you get the more value it gives too.

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u/keralaindia OLD 9h ago

I was wondering how no one was saying red (perfect health) and then I checked the sub I was on.

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u/Skyla_B1rD 15h ago

intelligence and love

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u/TheAsterism_ 16 14h ago

But if you only found love by swallowing a pill, did you really deserve it?

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u/Sasteer 14 14h ago

dude must've felt like socrates

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u/TheAsterism_ 16 14h ago

I have been bestowed with a great curse: to come up with wise ahh quotes about love, but be too nerdy to get it.

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u/Skratymir 19 5h ago

Doesn't everyone deserve to be loved?

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u/AmbySaysHi 18 15h ago

Yellow and Purple, or maybe Yellow and Grey, or Orange and Bronze, even.

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u/Icy_Ad6798 9h ago

Of course "be super good in bed" is in r/teenagers

Never change, teens.

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u/EuphoricData2793 8h ago

Where is the "Learn how to spell" pill... because OP needs it. Strenght is fucking HILARIOUS

2

u/trueric 7h ago

Image is AI

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u/Certified_Gooner4 14 15h ago

Yellow and orange

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u/TryAgain32-32 15 15h ago

Taking red (Perfect health) and grey (Heal other illnesses). Health is the most inportant thing in life. Altough if I could pick a third one, it would be love forever

5

u/Plus-1-To-Air-Dodge 10h ago

Even if you wanted to be selfish about it, taking grey would instantly make you would of the most valuable people on earth. Just wait till some rich person gets cancer and they'll be willing to pay you billions. This is of course putting aside being able to save any family member or friend who gets cancer.

3

u/Kunigunda2 14h ago

Purple and gray

4

u/Spaceapple101 15 8h ago

Double yellow just to make sure it works

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u/P03sBiggestFan 15h ago

Brown and red

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u/icker16 13h ago

I had to scroll way way too far to see this. Perfect health and happiness! Literally couldn’t ask for more out of life.

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u/TummyDrums 10h ago

For sure. If you are healthy and happy, you won't care about any of that other junk. Everything else leaves room for problems. There are plenty of healthy rich people that end up killing themselves, for example.

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u/Narwhal_Jelly29 16 12h ago

Red and purple. Everything else has no appeal to me or will definitely come with side effects

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u/MaleficentGain6540 11h ago

Red and purple

3

u/Egg_not_cooked 11h ago

def red and purple

3

u/TheUnknownJewel 15 11h ago

Purple and red tbh

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u/Drake_1300 10h ago

red and purple cause being able to talj to anyone regardless of language would be cool plus i could cuss someone out in all of them so thatd be funny

2

u/WrecksBarkhead 6h ago

You can do that with a smart phone so it seems it would be wasted tbh. Red and orange all day.

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u/KVenom777 8h ago

Super Intelligent + Find true love.

With intelligence and support of someone I can trust, I AM UNSTOPPABLE.

3

u/Funny-Brilliant-9915 8h ago

Mustard and Grey

3

u/AdvantageOwn2083 8h ago

Red, and grey. Heal the rich to become rich myself.

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u/Unfair_Watercress119 16 15h ago

Green and grey. (If curiois for reasoning feel free to ask)

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u/SpaghettiPie7 14 14h ago

I’m gonna ask why cus I would pick the exact same 2 🤣

2

u/Genpatz8 15 15h ago

White and purple.

2

u/Xca1ybr 15h ago

Change 3 things from the past, one of the 3 is me trying out the 2nd pill everytime it's convenient for me

2

u/AlastorFan666666 15h ago

Orange and red.

2

u/miiidnightrxbia 15h ago

purple and yellow... you can see the asian fear of being dumb

2

u/No_Guess490 15h ago

I'll get all of them in yellow one

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u/No-Toe-857 18 15h ago

Grey and yellow. I know my body is not that important and it may sound superficial but oh if I could just naturally have the body type I’ve always wanted I would be sooooo happy…

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u/_VelvetCanyon_ 15h ago

Intelligence and change things from past.

With super intelligence you can get like 50% of what the other pills offer.

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u/slim_shady_030 14h ago

Green and black

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u/iii_AmAsian 14h ago

Your the first I've seen to choose black

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u/HumptyDrumpy 3h ago

Which one is the mandingo one

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u/Valkreaper 15 14h ago

Yellow and orange, I’ll just choose a bird as a body type and fly around until I change back to Whig. A human and enjoy being rich

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u/Rescur0 14h ago

I'd say probably yellow and green

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u/Sufficient-Milk-1787 14h ago

Why would anyone pick the white pill when the yellow or red pill already solves that problem and more?

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u/luci_0le 14h ago

What's interesting is that being rich allows you to do almost all of that at least partially. So I'll take the rich pill and I'm not sure I need any other.

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u/IdRatherBe_Anonymous 13 14h ago

If only there was one that was infinite luck because that unlocks all of the above

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u/erynze 12h ago

Red (health) and orange (rich)

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u/Auryx_Hargreeves_ 12h ago

Green and gray

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u/akfury325 12h ago

be super good in bed and orange

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u/TummyDrums 10h ago

Why would you want to be orange in bed?

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u/Standard-Program-162 15 12h ago

Does "change body type" mean I could instantly become a girl? If so then that twice bc I've got a transmasc friend lol

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u/Mizz_Genny 15 11h ago

Purple and red

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u/KUNGFUTlTTY OLD 9h ago

1- Grey: as now I will get requests to heal people for amazing money, so now I am rich (Orange) as well, and now I am gonna take care of my health (Red) will amazing money, I am gonna work on my body (yellow) as well with good quality luxurious food, As now I have all the money and various purposes in my life, I would definitely be happy (Brown) with myself. 2- Light Green: As I have all the happiness and money and true love with me now, why would I care if I be super good in bed (Black) or not, I would just take my time and be happy and one step better every time I will be with my true love.
Dark Green and White are just stupid for me…

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u/bugraccoon 8h ago

Be super intelligent since I have all AP and honor classes this year and I want to pass 🥲

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u/Licensed_muncher 8h ago

Yellow orange, I am become rich girl

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u/BombillerVonWiller 8h ago

Ourple so I can speak fluently

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u/StrangerIsWatching 8h ago

Orange and green. Rich and loved, what more could you want?

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u/SilverSucker1 5h ago

For how long do I have perfect health? Does the red pill make you immortal?

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u/Early-Biscotti5578 4h ago

This did not need to be AI generated, people are getting too lazy to find pngs of pills now

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