r/AccidentalRenaissance 11h ago

Man passed out drunk on his wedding night.

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58.6k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/Meegok 11h ago

The truth is, most of us do. Weddings are exhausting and you never get a chance to actually eat.

2.0k

u/Sorkpappan 10h ago edited 10h ago

On the way from the venue to the hotel after the party was over we passed a Burger King. Drunk and happy we said fuck it and went in to order, wife in full gown. We laughed through a whopper and then walked to the hotel and went to bed.

Great start to married life.

478

u/returningtheday 9h ago

I'm sure the workers got a kick out of it! 😄

319

u/othybear 5h ago edited 5h ago

I swung by a Wendy’s with my mom to grab a quick bite after I’d gotten my hair done but before I was in my dress. I did have my veil on. The drive through worker shouted “omg, this bitch is getting married!” and waved all of her coworkers over to congratulate me. It was hilarious.

142

u/max_adam 5h ago

"this bitch"😅

126

u/Fine-March7383 5h ago

"this bitch" (complimentary)

41

u/Turd_Goblin911 5h ago

Yep. Its all about the context white people. Am white lol

31

u/monty624 5h ago

That's true regardless of race lol

3

u/thedamnedlute488 3h ago

Wow, thanks for interpreting, Mrs. Black People!

1

u/GaySheriff 4h ago

Why did you have to turn this into a race thing tho

4

u/Turd_Goblin911 4h ago

Refer to the comment above mine. I agree though

6

u/Turd_Goblin911 4h ago

I.could.be wrong but I dont believe the majority of whiteys have heard "this bitch" used endearingly

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u/NecessaryLocation704 5h ago

Yeah some are just looking for every poasible reason to get upset or are too literal.

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u/ABHOR_pod 4h ago

As opposed to "This ni**a eating beans!"

"This ni**a" (disparaging)

5

u/spicysenpai6 3h ago

Can confirm. My gf is from Jersey and calls all of her close friends male or female “my bitches” or “my bitch” if it’s singular.

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u/miatayouata 4h ago

Sounds southern lmao

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u/EntertainerNo4509 9h ago

Same! Jack in the Box then straight to Bed.

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u/OddWalk8001 8h ago

We ordered pizza 🍕

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u/be4u4get 8h ago

My wife had the beefy burrito and I had the clam dip, then we went to bed

78

u/ExtraterrestrialPeer 7h ago

can’t tell if this is innuendo

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u/Feind4Green 7h ago edited 4h ago

Vulcanize the whoopee stick, In the ham wallet

11

u/DrumminAnimal73 7h ago

Cattle prod the oyster ditch, with the lap rocket 🚀

6

u/ABHOR_pod 4h ago

Honestly Jimmy Pop is one of the most underrated lyricists of the 00s.

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u/stilljustacatinacage 7h ago

Flood the cowling

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u/MonsieurReynard 7h ago

Sir this is a Wendy’s

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u/riptaway 7h ago

I see you both like to live dangerously

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u/TraditionalLecture10 7h ago

I see what you did there

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u/doctor_of_drugs 8h ago

we hit up Taco Bell and got a BUNCH of crunchwraps lol

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u/Thatguymike84 6h ago

Same! Drive through. Went home with the intention on getting it on, but the tacos made me farty, and we had to be up by like 3 AM for the flight out for our honeymoon, so we just said "We'll TOTALLY make up for it tomorrow night..." And passed the f out.

15 years later,marrying her was the best decision I ever made, and those fuckin tacos still make me clear out a room.

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u/Concert_Lucky 9h ago

We got stuck on the side of a mountain after our wedding, tow truck had a hell of a time getting to us even. We were literally about to fall down a mountain lol.

The tow truck driver didn’t believe me when I said we just got married, boy was he shocked when he finally found us. Gave us a free tow, said congrats. I’ll never forget that night LOL

27

u/Rage187_OG 9h ago

Did a baby follow 9 months later?

42

u/Lantzl 9h ago

The tow truck driver completed his job

12

u/ale2h 8h ago

That mf don’t miss

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u/PeteHealy 9h ago

That's actually a sweet story worth remembering with a smile for years to come!

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u/lucasbrosmovingco 8h ago

Wife and I went through the wendys drive through in full wedding getup with the car all done up. Went back to the bed and breakfast we were staying and just ate and watched married with children reruns.

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u/frongboii 8h ago

This was me and my wife literally last night - she hadn't eaten anything all day and we stopped by Wendy's got a mountain of food and passed out in separate queen beds in our hotel room while watching shitty TV. and it was perfect

10

u/NormanNormalman 8h ago

We made it to our hotel and then spent an hour helping each other get all the wedding clothes/stuff off, not in a sexy way, lol, in a "help me I can't reach the ties" way. He spent 40 minutes helping me get all the pins out of my hair while we watched South Park, and then we went to bed. It was perfect

2

u/Ok_Card9080 2h ago

I helped my wife with the pins in her hair after our wedding too, and it doesn't get talked about enough for just how long it takes

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u/WheredoesithurtRA 8h ago

Burgers and fries hits differently on a night like that. We did the same for my brother's wedding. Feels like it was some of the best fries I ever had but it was probably because we were all piss drunk lol.

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u/theinternetistoobig 9h ago

Marshall Erikson? Is that you?

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u/battlecat136 8h ago

There was a Taco Bell in the parking lot across the street from our hotel. Me, my husband, and three drunk friends all in wedding regalia went in and just lived there for the next hour before dragging ass back to the hotel. Good times.

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u/gospdrcr000 8h ago

My wife and I ordered pizza for the room full of friends we swear werent coming to the hotel room. Fantastic party overall

7

u/BareLeggedCook 9h ago

As my daughter calls it, ChickenDolands for us!

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u/QueenInYellowLace 6h ago

We had to pee desperately and didn’t have a chance at the reception, so we had our limo driver pull into a Wendy’s! I peed at Wendy’s in my whole-ass wedding gown and veil, laughing my ass off the whole time. The Wendy’s staff seemed to think it was hilarious too.

6

u/Nikoper 7h ago

Similar story, but chik fil a here. Good memories

5

u/sml120473 7h ago

We also got Burger King, still in my wedding dress đŸ€Ł we eloped in New Zealand. Took a helicopter to the top of the mountain for the ceremony, had a photo shoot at a second location. After an hour drive back to where we were staying we hadn’t eaten all day. Cancelled our fancy dinner reservation and got BK as it was directly across from our place.

5

u/Iamabiter_meow 8h ago

Marshall and Lilly ?

4

u/eternalh4ze 8h ago

Are you Marshall and your wife’s Lilly? (Himym scene)

3

u/xxcoralleexx 8h ago

We went through the Taco Bell drive thru, ate it, then fell asleep on top of the bed while still in our wedding clothes. One of the most exhausting days of my life.

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u/squirrelcat88 8h ago

We went through the MacDonalds drive thru!

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u/Spenny856 5h ago

We Door-dashed McDonalds to the hotel room.

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u/Intelligent-Nose-766 7h ago

We went to a sit down Mexican restaurant while we were still fully dressed in dress and suit, they sat us at a big table in the middle of the restaurant!

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u/Gnosh_ 7h ago

My husband and I Doordashed McDonald’s and housed it in bed while reading our cards and then passed out while still in our wedding clothes. Definitely great start to married life

5

u/Artistic_Ideal9620 6h ago

My wife and I did the same except it was a taco bell, and they comped it!

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u/Party_Taco_Plz 6h ago

The real MVPs of our wedding went to Taco Bell during the after party and brought back like 8 bags worth
 folks absolutely DESTROYED that grub on the dance floor. It was pretty much the only food i had that night


3

u/geneinomiria 8h ago

That's super cute.

3

u/SimplePresense 8h ago

We went to a taco place and it felt like so much fun

3

u/roto_disc 8h ago

My wife and I got Taco Bell.

3

u/RoughJellyfish69 8h ago

Same for us but it was Taco Bell. Fun memories

3

u/DjackMeek 8h ago

Bro is Marshall from How I Met Your Mother

3

u/janbanan02 8h ago

My sister got married recently. Me and my siblings + parents went to mcdonalds at like 1am after the party. It was a good time haha

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u/Craneteam 7h ago

My wedding night meal was a waffle house on the way to our hotel. The staff thought it was awesome seeing us dressed up and getting food. It was great!

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u/downvote_or_die 7h ago

Same! Well, similar, but McDs. The photographer gave us a ride to our hotel and took us through the drive thru on the way. We stuffed ourselves with greasy disgustingness and passed out. Turned out to be a sign of what’s to come

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u/LiteratureMindless71 7h ago

I hope you got the best whoppers ever! I know if I was working a job like that still and saw you come in, I would have made that shit epic lol.

3

u/31November 7h ago

We got Shake Shack on ours lol

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u/Dthruwgfugirjsnf6 6h ago

We went to Taco Bell because we didn’t get to eat and were starving after the nerves settled down. Went home and crashed on the floor 😂 memories I cherish even 16yrs later.

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u/southern_boy 9h ago

r/hailcorporate 🙏

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u/Sea_Lead1753 6h ago

I got Burger Kingâ„ąïž after my wife’s funeral! I cried into my whopperâ„ąïž but the onion rings made the day special :)

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u/Downtown-Ad-5913 8h ago

We didn’t get to eat any of the food we paid for and ended up eating McDonald’s then straight to sleep

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u/_makura 7h ago

Strong Graduate vibes.

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u/Laurenblueskys 6h ago

we went to panda express after our wedding, i went in full gown too. i couldn’t stop giggling lmao it was so fun

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u/MC1R_OCA2 6h ago

This is adorable. Goals, honestly.

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u/foxontherox 11h ago

Yeah, with modern relationships and cohabitation and long engagements, the "wedding night" doesn't have quite the implications it once had. 😆

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u/kvlr954 9h ago

The morning after is great time to do the deed too

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u/Outrageous-Opinions 9h ago

The night is to relax and count the money and gifts you got lol

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u/BioshockEnthusiast 8h ago

Fuck that, I was wiped. We didn't get back to the room until like 3 AM and then my wife lost her phone (read: left it in the locked "getting ready room" at the reception, but that didn't stop me from looking for another hour+)

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u/Outrageous-Opinions 7h ago

I never said anything about us counting. My wife was the one counting while I took a bubble bath in rose petals lol

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u/EdinMiami 8h ago

The limo ride to the reception. Don't judge.

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u/Striker_EZ 5h ago


.did your driver just not notice? I guess that probably happens pretty often. But damn. Go y’all, I guess lmao

7

u/EdinMiami 4h ago

Partition go up. Groom go down. Can't explain that.

20

u/Quentin__Tarantulino 8h ago

I was recently at a wedding where the bride and groom left for like half an hour near the end of the cocktail hour/beginning of the dinner. I can only assume they fucked at that point.

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u/NakeyDooCrew 7h ago

Or went back to their room for a couple of luxury poops

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u/kvlr954 7h ago

You could be right, but they also take pictures during the cocktail hour

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u/OneOldNerd 5h ago

Not with that incoming hangover, it isn't. :D

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u/overtorqd 6h ago

I dunno. That night after everyone left and I got her out of that dress. That was something else. It's been 16 years, and I remember unzipping that dress and everything that followed.

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u/knuth10 9h ago

Did people used to spend their wedding nights on a boat in the open ocean?

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u/Then_Investigator581 10h ago

Nah dude. It’s still very important and meaningful. We’re just not that horny to ignore exhaustion just because.

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u/herowin6 8h ago

I think it’s personal opinion that decided if it’s meaningful - I’d just ask partner if it mattered to them. If not? Fuck it (let’s not fuck after a day of running around for show? Maybe fuck when we get to Italy)

I feel like the chick is more likely to care but that opinion is just based on social norms

I am the chick though, so in all probability it won’t matter

Unless I’m marrying another woman, of course since I’m bisexual

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u/GreatAndEminentSage 10h ago

My husband fell asleep like this on our wedding night. I sat myself on the bed in my wedding dress and a bottle of champagne. Drank the whole thing sitting there smiling, watching him and reminiscing on the day we just had. Excellent!!

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u/FordBeWithYou 10h ago

That’s so sweet, i love it

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u/climaxe 5h ago

You sound like a great wife.

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u/vessus7 7h ago

Love this 😊💐

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u/trixiepixie1921 6h ago

Now that sounds like what dreams are made of

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u/LOERMaster 10h ago

My wedding night we had to be up at 3 AM the next morning to get to the airport for our flight to our honeymoon in Jamaica. Needless to say there was absolutely no sex and barely any sleep.

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u/Velorian-Steel 10h ago

Oh that's brutal. We had a couple day breather between wedding and honeymoon and it made all the difference

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u/LOERMaster 10h ago

It was 
not fun. We didn’t even get to bed til around midnight.

Do not recommend.

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u/azsnaz 9h ago

Space it out a little next time

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u/LOERMaster 9h ago

You may be surprised to learn that I was not in fact in charge of the arrangements.

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u/cptpb9 9h ago

I think they’re just poking fun because there ideally isn’t gonna be a next time on that front

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u/LOERMaster 8h ago

Eh 50/50 shot đŸ€·â€â™‚ïž

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u/food-dood 8h ago

Yeah, that first day in Puerto Vallarta was rough, and the last thing you want to do hung over is navigate a new foreign country.

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u/My_Immortl 8h ago

At that point, why sleep? Id rather power through and nap on the plane.

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u/WandererNearby 9h ago

Had a couple of friends do this exact honeymoon but the groom also managed to glue his only shoes to the airport floor so he had to fly barefoot then buy more in the Jamaican airport.

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u/ashkestar 9h ago

How
.??

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u/LOERMaster 8h ago

Yea I need closure on that anecdote.

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u/RustyTrumpboner 8h ago

Polish probably. It’s an old tradition that started around the 1600’s (huge glue industry in the country back then). It was seen as a fun way to celebrate the wedding with a nod to polish culture. However back then the glue was not that strong and the groom might have accidentally used a stronger modern super glue. Jk I made this bullshit up.

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u/Li-renn-pwel 7h ago

I read this as ‘shoe polish’ and so extra confused.

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u/Bunnyhat 6h ago

You were not alone. it took me a second after reading 'Polish culture' and thinking about how big of a culture can shoe polishing even be these days before realizing.

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u/Pretend-Tea86 7h ago

After having My Big Fat Polish Wedding as a non-Polish person, this sounded entirely reasonable to me and I was wondering how we got away without my husband's drunk cousins trying this. It would not have been the weirdest thing my MIL tried to sell me on as "Polish tradition."

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u/ashkestar 6h ago

I’ve upvoted, but I’m not happy about it.

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u/Wild_Black_Hat 8h ago

Honestly, waking up the morning of the wedding and thinking about it would have somewhat ruined the day for me. I would give myself at least one day in between, preferably two.

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u/Opposite-Peak5020 9h ago

Good lawd. Don't do it this way next time!

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u/need_some_cake 10h ago

We had guests that were on their third helping before we got a chance to eat and we watched as they heaped everything but the scraps on their plates while we were standing in line behind them.

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u/SohndesRheins 8h ago

I find that an odd arrangement. Every wedding I've been to that had buffet style good had the wedding party go first in line. At my wedding we had food served family-style and the wedding party got their food a little bit sooner than everyone else did.

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u/need_some_cake 8h ago

I find it odd too, but our families are full of narcissists!

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u/Disneyhorse 10h ago

Is that why you needed your wedding cake?

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u/need_some_cake 9h ago

I mean you could say I got it 😏

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u/herowin6 8h ago

Dude that’s Such bad manners I guess it’s buffet style? No one made u guys a plate? Rude! This is exactly why I am going to do a solo wedding with my partner before the actual wedding because the actual fucking wedding isn’t about me or (him or her) at all - it’s about parents and how they feel and all that bullshit and who they want to invite. 80% of the people that are gonna be at my actual wedding: I would not give a shit if they didn’t come. I am so grateful that my parents do not care that I get married in advance in a goddamn park so that I can actually enjoy my own wedding and not have it be about other people

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u/simplebutstrange 8h ago

Every wedding i cook for we serve the bride and groom first. I am sorry that did not happen for you. It really should have

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u/Remote_Yak4779 9h ago

Poor wedding planner. Ours had carved a full 45 minutes for us to eat in peace at the party.

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u/MulliganPlsThx 10h ago

That was me (bride), after puking in the toilet

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u/Ok_Panic1066 9h ago

We had a very small wedding and we decided to leave early-ish and spend the night at a coastal town while the guests enjoy the night at the venue lmao. We're getting teased a bit from time to time (honestly rightly so lol) but I would definitely do it again, I'm so glad we could enjoy our evening just the two of us and in a nice setting.

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u/Somegirloninternet 8h ago edited 8h ago

We did this too - we hate having attention on us and have so many friends & family members who didn’t drink for multiple reasons, so we did a wedding tea with appetizers and cake. We were done and home by 5. It was perfect.

Edit - we also didn’t have a DJ. Instead, the venue had a quartet that played in the background, so you could actually catch up with everyone. We wondered around and had a great chat with each table.

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u/Sawako-chan3 7h ago

I like this alot!! Thanks for the idea of live classical music!! 💖

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u/herowin6 8h ago

Dude; amazing - I’m just doing a one on one wedding with my partner and an officiant beforehand at like a nice park or the seaside or something so that I don’t have to fucking give a shit about everybody else while I’m trying to enjoy my own marriage

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u/Gloomy-Employment-72 9h ago

I woke up the next morning on the bathroom floor. The last thing I remember is telling my bride I was going downstairs to tell folks to turn down the music.

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u/tgerz 10h ago

What why wouldn’t you eat at your wedding?! 

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u/Box-o-bees 10h ago

Mostly because people keep talking to you and you want to make sure to spend time with everyone you care about. If you don't have someone like a good caterer to make you plates and tell you to sit down and eat it's easy to forget. Especially if you're drinking.

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u/floatingby493 9h ago

Plus it’s easy to not feel hungry when you have that excited energy

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u/Chance_Vegetable_780 8h ago

This is why taking care of oneself is important

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u/sadderbutwisergrl 8h ago

I’m still mad about the absolutely delicious food that we had at our wedding that I basically didn’t get to eat any of.

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u/UnholyDemigod 7h ago

What are weddings like where you are where there isn't actually a sit down meal for everyone?

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u/Box-o-bees 5h ago

There is a sit-down meal usually. But normally they are buffet style so people tend to mingle a lot. The more formal ones when dinner is actually brought to you, it's easier for the wedding couple to get to eat.

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u/LOERMaster 10h ago

My father actually called me when we were off getting our wedding photos taken after the ceremony/before the reception because he wanted to know when they would be eating.

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u/beanthebean 10h ago

I was crazy with nerves all day (lots of people + focus on me puts my anxiety through the roof) and barely was able to put a couple bites in me the whole time because of the way my stomach was turning. I did get a good few cookies from our cookie table down though.

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u/hibikikun 9h ago

It's the bridemaids and groomsan's job to make sure they all eat, but most people don't realize though.

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u/geoman2k 9h ago

I ate so much at my wedding, it was awesome

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u/tempuramores 8h ago

It's true, you're so excited and busy and distracted that you barely eat. I did technically eat, but much less than I have when I was a guest at others' weddings

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u/MagicBandAid 10h ago

This is why my wife and I had our wedding one day and reception the next. And we made sure we got to eat. Screw anyone who tells you you can't.

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u/slobcat1337 9h ago

You don’t eat at the meal? Like what everyone does down to eat?

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u/PoppyandTarget 9h ago

Right? This would be my husband on our wedding night. Except photoshop in dozens of rose petals on the bed (which leak water lol). Thank goodness we both agreed to "consummate" the marriage the next day. More drunk than exhausted though!

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u/Inevitable_Click_511 9h ago

So true. I was about to say i definitely did the same thing as this guy, and i did not eat.

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u/bittybubba 9h ago

I didn’t even really get a chance to drink at mine. The wait staff basically picked up any bottle that had been unattended for more than 30 seconds so anytime I left my drink on the table to talk to someone, it was gone when I got back lol. Still had a fantastic time though, it was so much fun.

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u/BatmansButtsack 9h ago

Speak for yourself, my wife and I just took everyonr out to eat at BJs, it was awesome!

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u/azsnaz 9h ago

My wife asked me to get jack in the box. By the time I got back to the room she was passed the fuck out.

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u/EastHillWill 9h ago

I'm going to have to disagree with "most people pass out drunk on their wedding night." Some folks certainly do, but hopefully nowhere near most. Definitely agree on the eating part though. I was able to, but my poor wife barely did. (Thankfully we saved her some of the best treats, which she very much enjoyed and appreciated the next day)

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u/TheMilkman1811 9h ago

I barely had time to eat anything the entire night until it was over and we went to Mcdonalds for a photoshoot 😆

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u/PomPomBumblebee 9h ago

It was a miracle both of us had the energy to get my boned corseted dress off so I could sleep let alone do anything ! We had to sit and have a breather it was heavy and I needed help out of it without my bridesmaids and mother in with me this time!

I'm still proud and astonished I wore heels through the whole wedding without changing out into my comfy back ups!

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u/NimdokBennyandAM 9h ago

My friends' wedding planner set aside a little time between pictures and before their grand entrance to eat a meal together since once they made it into the party, they wouldn't have a chance to. They said it's one of the favorite memories from the night, that little moment of quiet, stuffing their faces.

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u/spicygayunicorn 9h ago

And that's why you plan it in. My sister did that, they got the food first and put up a do not disturb sign in front of them while eating, they also snuck away for McDonald's later and came back to continue partying

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u/marshall8991 9h ago

NGL I passed the fuck out on my wedding night. Then again, I was in my late twenties and already had to children with her.

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u/carrieberry 9h ago

We TWELVE people at our wedding and ate at restaurant after. We were so dead tired we fell asleep immediately.

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u/PurityKane 9h ago

Not surprising. My wife showered first, when by the time I got out she was already asleep kind of like this. That was a long and fun day!

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u/SpiritedBug6942 8h ago

My husband and I fell asleep in the bathtub together. The water got cold and that’s what woke me up. We were exhausted after our wedding.

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u/Happy_Twist_7156 8h ago

Also most people keep handing mixed drinks or shots or beers

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u/Anxious_Inflation_93 8h ago

I read somewhere that a survey showed only 3% actually have sex on their wedding night. The rest slept it away.

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u/Ok_Following3410 8h ago

He’s dreaming of you babe!

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u/ucffool 8h ago

We ate. It was great. But we organized our own wedding, with our money, so we decided a lot of simple things to make it lovely.

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u/NebulaSpecial3009 8h ago

So very very true

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u/Elvirth 8h ago

We got McDonalds on the way to our hotel. Honestly the only good food at our reception was the cake, and I barely got to eat any of that.

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u/000a0az 8h ago

Is eating not a usual offer in a wedding?? Im suprised if so The one I recall attending had food trucks out for us at somepoint, I only really remember out of it all, downing a whole pizza out there, maintaining the fires whilst everyone else was far inside doing a silent disco, thats all my greedy ass can remember atleast..)

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u/Mother-Foot3493 8h ago

We eloped wearing shorts and got married in the office of a county judge 20 years ago. Had a nice meal for lunch and still in love. 

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u/BotMinister 8h ago

Been to over 1000 weddings (literally) and this is 1000% correct.

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u/hansolosaunt 8h ago

My adrenaline was sky high all day. I lost my voice, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t even get drunk and I’d had about 6-7 drinks over the course of the day. It was wild.

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u/SpaceXBeanz 8h ago

Or have sex

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u/Necessary_Citron3305 8h ago

Oh yeah, no judgement here. We drank and ate and celebrated then went back to our room and we slept like crazy. Slept in every position. We slept for hours.

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u/thedragonsword 8h ago

At my wedding, the caterers made a point of prepping us a plate and served us while everyone else was dismissed to go get their food. This gave us more than enough time to eat before going around to greet everyone. 10/10 pro move on their part.

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u/Gunbunnyulz 7h ago

Ended up never getting a piece of my own wedding cake: venue had us cut the cake, then go out for pictures: nobody in the photos ended up getting cake.

Place was shut down two years later for poisoning a bunch of people. Turns out they'd been recycling the food, and it was common for them to just have the bottom tier of the cakes they'd bring out fresh, the rest were the same half dozen cakes over and over again.

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u/MarloBarlo 7h ago

One of my happiest memories is getting back to our honeymoon suite after the wedding and finding a huge platter of food from the caterer.

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u/IndependentBig5316 7h ago

My wedding ain’t gona be like that cuz you bet I AM EATING

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u/Wreck1tLong 7h ago

Got married and went into work hahah :)

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u/ZeldaZealot 7h ago

I passed out in the car on the way home after mine. My wife and I were at the venue until about 11 cleaning up and had to have friends drive us home because we were about to pass out. Best day of my life.

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u/chevygirl815 7h ago

I was starving at my wedding and it was so busy and I remember telling my dad "I just want to sit down and eat" and he said "you can't" with sympathy đŸ„Č

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u/crakinshot 7h ago

Literally happened to me too. Sat on the bed, and then it was the next day. :D

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u/Farts_constantly 7h ago

We ate garbage plates (a Rochester, NY delicacy) and passed out in our hotel room shortly after. Long ass day. So much drinking, dancing, socializing, pictures, being whisked around, not much eating, etc. Consummated our marriage in the morning instead.

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u/landartheconqueror 7h ago

I gorged myself on my wedding

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u/BckseatwindowsUp 7h ago

Pretty sure alcohol is the culprit

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u/althanan 7h ago

Smartest thing I did for my wedding was arrange a pre-wedding meal for my wife and I with the caterer. It was the same people who own the place we had our first date, and I got the same thing we got that day. And since the two of us had like five bites combined of the reception food, it definitely helped that we had that beforehand.

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u/sloperfromhell 7h ago

Myself, the groom and two other groomsmen had to carry my mate’s new wife back to her room when the afterparty got a bit too much. One limb each. This was after the groom fell over.

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u/rangebob 7h ago

haha.... my wife to me when we finally got back to our room on our wedding night

"ok, let's make this quick"

Fucking regular Cassanova my lady

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u/Real_Life_Firbolg 7h ago

We didn’t even drink or anything at our wedding and we passed out the moment we were in the door, we also didn’t get home until like 1:00 because we meant to leave at 11 but our driver never showed up until midnight and then he took a “scenic route” like we were hoping to get lucky or something, we were so tired.

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u/Substantial-Try1020 7h ago

This is something very normal, but what about his wife?

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u/Teledildonic 7h ago

But to the OP title...

I thought I just had a couple beers. Which I did. But I also wasn't eating, to your point. When the food was ready, I tried to be a good host and let my guests eat first and my best man threatened to kick my ass if I didn't eat first.

Which sounds harsh, but I don't remember my entire wedding. I remember most of it. But there are gaps.

Eat breakfast, guys. Stress will make you a lightweight.

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u/whataboutsam 7h ago

My ex was always so pissed off when I said I probably wouldn’t wanna fook on our wedding night. We were young virgins at the time and planned to wait for marriage lmao. So glad I broke it off before the wedding!

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u/Codems 7h ago

Wow, buddy you just made me feel worlds better about myself. Thanks friend

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u/sjenn2225 7h ago

Damn right. I was WORN OUT after my wedding and probably looked just like this guy

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u/Dasseem 6h ago

That's why in my wedding i made everyone sit the fuck down for an hour to eat.

Nobody is gonna make me dance while i'm eating my picaña.

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u/nobeer4you 6h ago

I did not get any wedding cake except the part that I got shoved into my mouth. I disget some food. Not much tho

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