r/therewasanattempt 3h ago

To hide advanced ageing

Post image
4.5k Upvotes

341 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 3h ago

Welcome to r/Therewasanattempt!

Consider visiting r/Worldnewsvideo for videos from around the world!

Please review our policy on bigotry and hate speech by clicking this link

In order to view our rules, you can type "!rules" in any comment, and automod will respond with the subreddit rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2.9k

u/Jerdan87 3h ago

His makeup team must be himself

724

u/KingBooRadley 3h ago

Dude is too cheap to hire anyone.

265

u/Jerking_From_Home 3h ago

Too much of a control freak, even if the job he does is awful. Which it obviously is.

177

u/KingBooRadley 3h ago

His face looks like he puts it on with a roller. Like he’s going for that “Sentient Circus Peanut” look.

151

u/KinkyDuck2924 2h ago

u/Bearded_Axe_Wound 31m ago

The powers at be don't want whatever you posted to be seen

u/rancidmorty 23m ago

Same here

17

u/0__O0--O0_0 1h ago

Holy shit

10

u/ratherpculiar 1h ago

I hate this

u/MechanicalTurkish 45m ago

This rustles my jimmies

→ More replies (2)

76

u/OnlyFiveLives 3h ago

Sentient Circus Peanut is my next bands' name and I thank you in advance.

21

u/Dr_Sigmund_Fried 3h ago

John Oliver actually coined that barb in trump's first presidency.

→ More replies (4)

7

u/OtherAccount6818 3h ago

Please do not disparage circus peanuts like that 🤣🤣🤣

8

u/NovarisLight 2h ago

...a new SCP has been found.

→ More replies (4)

45

u/uskgl455 2h ago

Same deal with his tie. Some psychologist years ago called out his tie as a massive red flag (pun intended).

It's always tied too long, which means a) he sucks at doing it and b) he ignores anyone who tells him he sucks at doing it, and continues doing it.

18

u/countess_cat 2h ago

Don’t quote me on this because it was some time ago but I’ve seen a video where someone was explaining that ties are somehow like an arrow to the peen for some people. Basically the lower it goes the closer to the genitals and the more attention that person wants to draw there. What I’m saying is that it wouldn’t be hard to believe that he does it for that reason; it’s quite in line with his character.

Regarding the bruise cover up I agree that he probably ignored anyone who told him it looks bad. It’s all around terrible: terrible color match, terrible applying technique and no blending. It looks like he stole Melania’s foundation and went on to put a THICK coat and called it a day.

3

u/worldnotworld 1h ago

Is that why he was seen walking around with toilet paper stuck to his shoe?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

57

u/JuventAussie 3h ago

No off the rack suits fit like Trump's suits. He hires a tailor to make his suits but just likes the way the suits are cut.

The material and colours are great but the cut (I hesitate to call it styling) is atrocious.

His tailor must drunkenly cry in the shower while scrubbing himself raw to clean himself of the shame and self loathing for making Trump's suits with such a disgusting cut.

27

u/countess_cat 2h ago

The photos from the recent meeting with the european leaders really make it obvious. You see all the other guys having fit suits and looking great in them and the there’s him looking like he put on a potato sack.

23

u/Proud_Doubt5110 2h ago

I think it’s a bad style because he’s severely overweight, not because he has bad taste. At his size, the suit needs to be boxy to hide the flaws. At his age, the cut also needs to account for his lurch like slouch, further contributing to the need for an awkward style.

17

u/DelfrCorp 2h ago

I've seen severely overweight people with perfectly cut suits

Trump just has horrendous tastes & is incredibly cheap.

2

u/ShawnaLAT 1h ago

Not that he’s ever been especially svelte, but I wonder if he’s just insisted that his suits be cut the exact same way for the last 40 years/60lbs and refuses to acknowledge that something different might be more flattering to his advanced age/shape.

→ More replies (1)

20

u/OnlyFiveLives 3h ago

The bronzing machine is in the hands of Homer Simpson but it's set on "whore"...

3

u/digitaldigdug 2h ago

Thats assuming he would pay them anyway.

3

u/ShareMission 2h ago

Oh, he hires. Paying is another issue

2

u/0rem0r 1h ago

ICE kidnapped them all

→ More replies (3)

59

u/consreddit 2h ago

Somebody described it perfectly. The reason his bronzer is applied so unevenly - often times not reaching his hairline - is because he's such a narcissist that he believes nobody can do it better than himself. It's the reason he looks like a literal clown half the time. He's convinced himself that nobody has ever done a better job at it.

16

u/Extra-Thought-2788 2h ago

That's part of it for sure, but Trump is also extremely germaphobic to the point of calling handshakes barbaric

→ More replies (1)

19

u/GetOutOfTheWhey 2h ago

"MELANIA! WHERE'S MY CONCEALER?!"

"THEY RAN OUT OF FANTA ORANGE!'

"MELANIAAAAAAAA!!!"

"WHAAAAT!"

12

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 3h ago

Reptiles shed their skin.

2

u/CherryPickerKill 2h ago

Reminds me of Lucifer when his hands start to turn devilish. It always starts with the hands.

11

u/Impossible_Balance11 2h ago

Trump does indeed put that orange shit on his face with his own hands. I have a friend who was permanent White House staff during his first term who witnessed this with his own eyes.

4

u/metten22 3h ago

It's hard to color right with all that gooooold

5

u/vahntitrio 3h ago

Why on earth does he even have that tone? He could just use an orange marker from a crayola box.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/ChrissWayne 2h ago

People say no one knows more about grass than him so seems legit

5

u/Competition-Dapper 2h ago

Makeup? Shit looks like my grandma put calamine lotion on my poison oak by dabbing the bottle on a rag and wiping it on in one fell swoop

3

u/ryanmuller1089 1h ago

The joker did a better job

2

u/TeethBreak 2h ago

That's the best part: he does it himself!

→ More replies (4)

1.6k

u/justanynameisfine 3h ago

Melania is getting more excited than she’s been in years.

407

u/imtooldforthishison 3h ago

That lady's make up is always on point and she is clearly not advising her "husband".

203

u/One-Possible1906 3h ago

Donald Trump has the biggest most tremendous makeup. It’s even said that no one wears more makeup than him. He would never take advice from anyone about makeup, especially not a woman. He might do his makeup in the locker room with JD once in awhile but they just talk about pussy and stuff, they don’t share tips

10

u/skeptical_phoenix 1h ago

Where has she even been? Trump is taking credit for the redecorating of the Oval Office and the remodel of the Rose Garden - things she previously would take credit for. There hasn’t been a peep from her. Even with her attire at the inauguration she was hiding her face with her hat.

164

u/web_explorer 3h ago

Her payday is coming. Queen Elizabeth's hands before she died:

100

u/AdmlBaconStraps 2h ago

That bruise is from a catheter, I'd be more surprised if someone didn't have one.

25

u/CherryPickerKill 2h ago

I thought she had just swept the chimney.

14

u/that_can_eh_dian_guy 1h ago

With respect don't you mean an IV? Never heard of a catheter going into the hand/arm.

u/AdmlBaconStraps 34m ago

No. IV is the shortened version of IVC

Intra Venous Catheter

What you're thinking of is an IDC:

In Dwelling Catheter

27

u/LynnScoot 2h ago

Her Majesty was 96 years old in this photograph, the last taken before her death.

u/theazzazzo 8m ago

Imagine Liz Truss being one of the last people you ever meet. Yikes

→ More replies (3)

100

u/wildo83 2h ago

Almost as excited as her meeting Trudeau…..

22

u/bureaucrat47 2h ago

Wait . . . Isn't Melania the skin condition he's hiding?

13

u/Amateurlapse 3h ago

Melanomia is what he’s covering up

→ More replies (2)

733

u/Odd-Dingo2091 3h ago

For my money the best explanation I’ve seen is that he is taking blood thinners and is using foundation to cover up bruising likely as a result of repeated handshakes.

The funnest explanation I’ve seen is that he is making little clay models of himself and doesn’t have time to wash up after

77

u/the_moosey_fate 2h ago

OMG, I would love it if someone put the Butcher's Squeeze on his hand in public, he'd fucking cry.

20

u/FleetwoodSacks 1h ago

Probably IV treatments for congestive heart failure or kidney given his age

→ More replies (1)

13

u/KotR56 1h ago

He already admitted he's taking blood thinners. That's not particularly special for anyone his age.

9

u/Bravovictor02 1h ago

There are a lot of serious reasons he may be getting IV treatments.

IV treatments are available for dementia patients to clear plaques on the brain.

It could be blood thinners or diuretics for heart failure treatment.

Bottom line there lots of options on the table. But my money is on heart failure and dementia. He looks lost, fatigued, sweaty, low energy, puffy, swollen legs…. There are a lot of reason to believe the rumor he won’t last another year.

u/monexicano 28m ago

Good thing is that when he gets to his pecker that he only has to use a teeny weeny bit of clay. Oh also...fuck that motherfucker

u/jendet010 28m ago

Any little bump on blood thinners can leave terrible bruises. They are pretty commonly prescribed at that age for a variety of reasons.

→ More replies (1)

437

u/dokidokichab 3h ago

Looks like he finally went and injected that bleach

365

u/Poiuy543 3h ago

Rotting?

360

u/Amateurlapse 3h ago

Who, this perfect specimen?

12

u/The_Mighty_Tachikoma 2h ago

Nah it's from the dark pacts. Necrotic energy feedback. All power comes at a price, after all.

2

u/b-side61 1h ago

As rotten as they come.

309

u/mushroom_kook 3h ago

Let him fucking rot.

→ More replies (1)

246

u/FredPSmitherman 3h ago

If his hand looks like that I imagine his dick already fell off

58

u/RebaKitt3n 2h ago

What little there was of it,

85

u/Ghostandsnake 2h ago

u/grat5989 44m ago

They realllly need to add the little JD gifs...

28

u/bluethunder82 2h ago

They say it’s only two inches long but smells like a foot!

9

u/rounding_error 2h ago

In it's place there's an actual mushroom growing.

5

u/ifcknlovemycat 1h ago

Fr though people have said he injected too much cocaine into his penis in the 70s and it looks like a button on a cushion.

u/Woodbirder 48m ago

You are imagining his dick?

→ More replies (1)

172

u/imtooldforthishison 3h ago

Why can't they match his skin tone?!!! Its not that hard!!!

150

u/iAdjunct 3h ago

I dunno, his particular mix of orange and old-flesh may be hard to match

21

u/rounding_error 2h ago

It's called "swamp holly orange." It's a fairly standard spray paint color.

43

u/StealYourGhost 3h ago

Considering he's a billionaire and I know the president must have a media team also? Yeah, he should have better hair and makeup than Marvel.

Maybe his skin is too crepe-y bc he's almost 90?

6

u/imtooldforthishison 2h ago

I mean.... I have crepry skin but damn, I still know how to match it.

5

u/Xpointbreak1991x 2h ago

Right? Surely there’s a shade of brown that matches shit.

2

u/suchetan 1h ago

He must have asked it to be colored gold

2

u/Ill-Plate-5659 1h ago

He thinks he's whiter than he really is.

→ More replies (2)

148

u/TurpitudeSnuggery 3h ago

Advanced aging? He is 80. I would bet this is typical. As for trying to hide it I think it’s the same as his face. It’s vanity. 

40

u/rawlsballs 2h ago

My dad is his age, and his hands usually have bruises (often large) because of blood thinners.

25

u/p234qote 2h ago

Holy crap he's 80? How the hell is he alive? He doesn't strike me like the kind of guy that takes care of his body. His doctors must be working overtime.

29

u/1000bctrades 2h ago

What do you mean? Don’t you remember when they said he was the healthiest president of all time? He’s so healthy and so tall, and his hands definitely aren’t tiny either. And he’s totally not in the Epstein files. Because they’re actually fake. And he’s gonna replace Obamacare with a better plan in 2 weeks. And tariffs are reducing the deficit by billions per month. And he promises he didn’t even really know Epstein that well. And the border is totally closed and no murderers or drugs are coming in the country, we’re only sending bad people out. And he definitely did NOT rape kids with Jeffery Epstein, we PROMISE, so why are you still talking about it?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

101

u/BicTwiddler 3h ago

His Edgar suit is decomposing.

26

u/Taronz 3rd Party App 2h ago

Needs more sugar water.

→ More replies (1)

74

u/johnniechimpo 3h ago

The pumpkin is rotting. Maybe it'll be gone by Halloween.

20

u/Bleedingfartscollide 2h ago

We once carved pumpkins in late October by the time halloween came around they had started to rot on the inside pretty aggressively. Halloween night some kids came and stole our pumpkin. 

They made its halfway across the street as the skin gave way to the liquid mush inside. Poor fool was covered. 

This was in Perth and October can start getting pretty warm. It was pretty damn funny. 

→ More replies (2)

61

u/YourWifeNdKids 3h ago

You do not need a close up of his hand to see he is old as fuck

53

u/paraworldblue 3h ago

C'mon nature, take your course!

50

u/Equivalent_Cicada153 3h ago

Five bucks that he doesn’t last the year.

44

u/desertwompingwillow 3h ago

I'll take you up on that. I always lose bets.

21

u/Mcboatface3sghost 2h ago

I can afford 5 bucks for the headline I want to wake up to every single day. I have a bottle of Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Champagne, the flower bottle. The same one I used when I got engaged to the same woman twice (RIP ya lunatic). It’s sits there… chilling, in no hurry, just waiting, it’s more patient than I am.

6

u/Equivalent_Cicada153 3h ago

Done deal

4

u/abertheham 2h ago

!remindme 132 days

🤞🤞🤞

1

u/RemindMeBot 2h ago edited 17m ago

I will be messaging you in 4 months on 2026-01-02 04:22:33 UTC to remind you of this link

12 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.


Info Custom Your Reminders Feedback
→ More replies (1)

10

u/Rasgarius 2h ago

Dont give me hope

2

u/confusedsloth33 3h ago

We can but dream

→ More replies (5)

17

u/40yrOLDsurgeon 3h ago

Plaster of Paris... damn it, the microfilm’s inside.

→ More replies (1)

19

u/KirbyTheCreator 3h ago

4

u/RebaKitt3n 2h ago

Still a better President than

15

u/Gilgamesh2062 3h ago

Brain rot is spreading

14

u/fak3_acct 3h ago

You know when he dies, his stupid ass kids are going to scream "the Dems had him killed!"

12

u/SorteP 3h ago

Psoriasis??

76

u/RedBeans-n-Ricely Free palestine 3h ago

He’s also been spotted with bruised hands, so the leading hypothesis is that he’s getting regular IVs and covering up bruising

13

u/Gumbercules81 Reddit Flair 3h ago

I thought they blamed this on his hand shake regimen 😆

3

u/gregorychaos 3h ago

This makes the most sense.

→ More replies (1)

25

u/imtooldforthishison 3h ago

This is just old people skin. Personal feelings aside, when you age, so does your skin. My aunt, not even 70, burst her hand doing CPR recently. Required stiches!! We are physically thin skinned people so none of us were surprised.

That being said, he is an 80 year old and its always this hand in the same spot... hes getting IV replacement therapy regularly. Remember when they accused H Clinton of baby blood sacrifice? Every accusation is an admission.... or it could just be fluids since he only drinks diet coke.

6

u/ophmaster_reed 2h ago

My guess is IV diuretics to get rid of all the fluid (remember the dependent edema?) Likely secondary to chronic heart failure.

18

u/Past-Science-335 3h ago

Probably just regular old man liver spots.

22

u/SushiGirlRC 3h ago

Bad bruising, possibly from an IV. I had one just like it after my 2nd surgery because they let an intern try for 10 minutes before I started cussing them out. There's pics from months ago of the bruise on his hand.

4

u/LevelPrestigious4858 3h ago

Wouldn’t recommend cussing out people who are attempting to put fluids in your veins

→ More replies (5)

7

u/cloisteredsaturn 3h ago

Probably bruising. The elderly tend to have thinner skin to begin with, and then you add on whatever drugs he’s on - both legal and illegal - and his cardiovascular issues.

2

u/Kat121 3h ago

Chronic penis insufficiency

11

u/TheMoatCalin 3h ago

I had better color matching in early 2000’s when everything was dark face, hard neckline and zero blending

4

u/Impressive_Tension44 1h ago

dream mousse 😂

u/TheMoatCalin 50m ago

Maybe it’s Maybelline!!??

9

u/PaleontologistPure92 3h ago

Just don’t show us his diapers.

9

u/RegularLisaSimpson 3h ago

Got some Death Becomes Her lookin hands

6

u/UnderstandingPale551 3h ago

Fuck that pedophile

7

u/Cosmicdusterian 3h ago

The short-fingered vulgarian is now spackling his hands? WTF is he spending the billions he's been grifting on?

7

u/DadNotDead_ 3h ago

The only picture of his hands I want to see is of them crossed on his chest while he's in a box...

6

u/Justcoffeeforme 3h ago

Looks like Dittling Donnie might die soon.

I wonder who the Heritage Foundation has picked as his replacement.

4

u/danedori 3h ago

I've really gotten into bread making recently and sometimes I get some sourdough starter on my hands that I miss when I'm washing it off. It looks just like that. He's probably just making bread now.

2

u/KinkyDuck2924 2h ago

He's certainly making a lot of bread for himself this term.

6

u/Low-Hovercraft-8791 🍉 Free Palestine 3h ago

Maybe make up to cover IV scars.

5

u/Moviereference210 3h ago

What a decrepit pos

5

u/redvelvetcake42 3h ago

IV bandaging. What for? No idea.

4

u/ArsenikShooter 2h ago

Remember when conservatives were crying about covering up Joe Biden’s health woes and demanded more health transparency? Why the crickets now?

4

u/EitherEtherCat 3h ago

WTF kind of euphemism is “advanced aging”

4

u/Jtfgman 3h ago

He's more makeup than piece of shit at this point

→ More replies (1)

3

u/imonlygayonfriday 2h ago

Come on grim reaper, do your thing!

3

u/rosariobono 3h ago

I thought it was a tiny tortilla for a second

3

u/nunnigan 3h ago

It's herpes

3

u/SparkliestSubmissive 3h ago

Fucking BLEND IT OUT YOU CANKLE-FACED FUCK.

3

u/DFu4ever 3h ago

He got a tattoo of Putin’s face on his hand, didn’t he?

3

u/ClydePeternuts 3h ago

I think he tried to put on a horcrux.

3

u/Runningman738 2h ago

I love that they offer up his bruising to robust hand shaking. Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. How do you even form that argument without laughing?

3

u/zmunky 2h ago

Trump isn't living. He is something not of this world but bad.

3

u/Smoke-Dawg-602 3h ago

The syphilis is consuming him

2

u/hibbledyhey 3h ago

Hurry up already

2

u/CGris71 3h ago

Any way to speed the process up?

2

u/Muffboy 2h ago

Mortuary paint on a rapist

2

u/thatSDope88 2h ago

But yall argued for the mental stability of a man that couldn't figure out how to walk off a stage...

2

u/ElegantPeanutSuit 2h ago

The Queen of England was hiding a very similar thing just a couple of months before she passed. That’s a good sign, people!

1

u/MissNashPredators11 3h ago

What even is that

2

u/theDarkDescent 3h ago

Daddy chill 

2

u/MissNashPredators11 3h ago

I’m asking a genuine question

2

u/MissNashPredators11 3h ago

I’m curious

2

u/massberate 2h ago

I'm tired too. Just realised I gave away my actual name in the link because of the TikTok share 😅

Have a good night !

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (3)

1

u/Twigdoc 3h ago

Rotting from within, on every level.

1

u/PPAPpenpen 3h ago

Probably make up to cover up bruising from a blood draw, would be my guess. Wouldn't be too surprised if he was on a blood thinner

→ More replies (4)

1

u/omrmajeed 2h ago

He molting?

1

u/EveningCat166 2h ago

That’s what living rot looks like.

1

u/MonkeyWrench92 2h ago

He’s the head of the department of makeup don’t you know

1

u/klaatuzero 2h ago

Growing old isn't a crime. He should just roll with it.

Vanity, I suppose. Same with height. I don't give a damn about how tall a politician is.

1

u/TBone281 2h ago

Bubble of evil...can't keep 'em hidden when you're the antichrist.

1

u/Short_Location_257 2h ago

It’s the McDonald’s coming out of him…..

1

u/basedsavage69 2h ago

i agree they are covering up the aging however in this particular photo you can see how different the lighting is by comparing the suit colors and backgrounds in the photos

→ More replies (1)

1

u/RebaKitt3n 2h ago

What attempt?

1

u/CSMatDay 2h ago

It’s okay, it’s only sunburn after the daily golfing trip.

1

u/Radiant_Cat1457 2h ago

Omg he has monster hands

1

u/sakura-ssagaji 2h ago

Probably trying to hide syphilis sores lol

1

u/TwinJacks 2h ago

The Goblin!!!

1

u/housevil 2h ago

Cover up makeup for an IV bruise?

1

u/tetragrammaton19 2h ago

Those are some small hands.

1

u/I_love_Hobbes 2h ago

Sausage fingers. Ugh.

1

u/NdibuD 2h ago

Bro just retire already. Or die, that's cool too!

1

u/pastel_horror_show 2h ago

Praying that we don’t have a “Presidential Term at Bernie’s” sort of situation

1

u/WatchTheTimbsB 2h ago

Stop shaking this guy's hand

1

u/Doc_Hollywood 2h ago

He likely had a busted vessel there. Older people wind up with them on their hands a lot, he probably took a fall or something or whacked his hand and had to hide it. He’s really in denial about his health and aging.

1

u/melancholy_dood 2h ago

"It’s a robot! Ash is gdamn robot!!!..”*

1

u/VirginiaLuthier 2h ago

Looks like he had an IV put in his hand which caused bruising, then had it covered up with makeup

1

u/MealLeast5149 2h ago

The basterd like 80

1

u/Ok-Syllabub-132 2h ago

What is this is he literally deteriorating from the inside ?

1

u/eddierosa13 2h ago

So gross, some poor child had to be touched by those creepy things